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Whenev
er my nephew plays a video game and has to choose a name to go by, he picks “Viper”. When he had the opportunity to design a character (I don’t let him play “Dragon Age”, but I do let him design people on there), he chose a butch haircut, a big Tom Selleck moustache, a facial tattoo, and narrow, squinty eyes. When I asked him why he chose all that, he said it was because “Viper looks awesome and dangerous”.
As much as I would also like to be awesome and dangerous, when I go to various websites or set up accounts for Facebook and Twitter, I use my own name. I do that because I want readers to be able to find me. I’m very visible.
I don’t write fake reviews for my books on Amazon, either. For one thing it’s tacky, and for 
another it would turn out if I did that one day all the anonymous ID’s would glitch (again) and everyone would see how I called Taming an Impossible Rogue “the best romance since Romeo and Juliet, and with a better ending”.
Anyway, the point of this is that the me you see online still isn’t me. It’s Suzanne Enoch, professional person. I behave myself online, both because that’s the way I was raised, and because it could do damage to my reputation if I didn’t. How many times have you seen the “Another Author Behaving Badly” header? Every time I see it, I shudder. But for that delete button and resisting the urge to defend my stories even when somebody says they’re dull or boring, that could be me. Not that anyone has ever said I write boring stories. No. Never.
Are you…you online? Do you participate differently depending on whether you’re using your own name or going by, Viper, say? If you use a pseudonym, how did you choose it? Do you think some people would behave better if there was some way to tell who they really are?
By the way, you can find me on twitter now @suzieenoch , and on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/SuzanneEnoch . I promise to be polite. Or at least amusing.
I am me online, I do use a Nickname sometimes, but that is still me.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 4:18 am.
That is so refreshing, Mary.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:15 am.
I am totally me online. People suffer through my cat obsession, random ramblings and so forth. New Guy has two accounts, one is a general one and the other is for those who he is close to.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 5:17 am.
We love your cat obsession, Kelly! *g*
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:23 am.
Awww! Thanks Suzanne, I love you too! Oh btw, I saw some really cool Star Wars stuff the other day.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 7:24 pm.
I am ME, online, except some places I am me with restrictions, depending on the audience I’m being me to. Way back when, before my parents were on Facebook or Twitter, I was completely, unfiltered me. Now I’m Me: Parent Edition, which just means I’m not going to talk about my messed up issues, my boyfriends and sex and that sort of stuff, because, well, not like my parents want to hear about that (though, I will post sexual jokes or funny things or some eventual news — just nothing personal).
Here on the blog, I am B. Which is me, completely unfiltered, absolutely no restrictions, though, I may have a little tiny bit now that I have my picture showing up and the link to my blog. Before, when there was none, though, just the letter B, when just a handful of two Karens, a Sabrina an Archer and a Trish knew who I was, I’d say just anything.
My point is, I’m ALWAYS, ALWAYS me. Like, in real life, I’m always me. I’m the most honest, authentic person you’ll ever meet. I just show myself in layers. I just choose, depending on who I’m showing myself to, how much I want to disclose of myself
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 5:33 am.
You are definitely authentic, B. *g*
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:25 am.
I definitely know you’re not a dude
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 12:26 pm.
Lol! Yes, Archer, we know that for CERTAIN!
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 10:03 pm.
Karen, she’s saying that ’cause we’ve Skyped before, LOL, so, she’s seen me
Posted on April 28, 2012 at 6:15 am.
I am mostly me online. If you’re a friend on Facebook you have a good idea of how much of a book freak I am, my religious beliefs and you’ll get my opinion of anything and everything whether you asked for it or not. But then I belong to what we call a secret group with a very select group of online friends where we can really be ourselves. I don’t like to post anything private on Facebook. My avatar is my dog.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 6:18 am.
That’s a good term, aida — “mostly me”.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:26 am.
I’m always me. I might be just a little less here than I am in person.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 6:46 am.
I’m the same way, Sandi. I’m not fake, just…filtered.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:27 am.
As someone with a very unusual name, I tend to use my nickname for parts of the internet that can be reached without restrictions. In general, I tend to filter my comments based off of the audience, but I think in general that’s a nice common curtesy. Most of my good friends know significantly more than they should about me, though. It tends to leak out over time.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 7:21 am.
LOL, cail. Yes, it’s definitely true that little bits about quirks and stuff leak out over time.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:29 am.
I’m pretty me online. That’s to say, Nickie is not my real surname, and Flemins isn’t my family name either. But most of the world online knows me as Nickie F.
The surname is pretty obvious, as I was born in a town in Flanders, so I’m a Fleming. And a Finish friend began to call me Niki when we were both doing a language course in England.
On the other hand, I use my real name and identity on Facebook and other sites, as I’m a teacher and like to keep in contact with my ex-students this way.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 7:24 am.
I love the reasoning behind your nickname, Nickie!
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:30 am.
For me, it all depends on what type of site and what part of said site I am on. Here, I am fairly reserved but basically still me. On FB proper, I post stuff but nothing too personal. Got too many “friends” on there that I only met due to playing a game so don’t need that kind of attention. I do have a small, private group on there that is filled with ladies who I met years ago in an online support group. We do share EVERYTHING, the good, the bad and the TMI! We have an illness in common so we share all the gory details so to speak.
I do think that many people hide behind their avatars. I mean, look at the comments on Yahoo articles. Some are hilariously funny and others are just down right awful. If people knew who they really were, I think they’d have the snot beaten out of them for their idiocy. As for behaving better??? Eh. Some people crave the attention and others just have no filter. It is difficult to say if they would be any different in person. Look at the er… “people” of Jersey Shore and other reality shows. Are they really that horrendous in person or are they just hamming it up for the cameras? I am sure it is a little of both but if they were in your family, what would you do??? Me, I’d run and hide and NEVER let anyone know I was related to them. LOL!
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 7:24 am.
You make a good point, Jen. Some people just have mouth diarrhea for all the world to see.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:35 am.
What Cail said sums me up except for the exotic name;)
I try keep it courteous (my version of courteous) or at least appropriate here. On FB, I keep religion and politics to myself. I’m FB friends with people who used to report to me. When/If I work with them again, they are unfriended immediately.
I do however love to use FB to rant about how frustrating half hearted the reporting on the Today Show is. They just make it so easy to be snarky.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 7:36 am.
Fresh, you, snarky? Say it isn’t so. *g*
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:36 am.
On line, I’m totally me. I wouldn’t know how to be anyone else.
As for “authors behaving badly”, I’m always confounded by this. Don’t published authors need to be working on their next manuscript instead of spending a whole lot of time and energy creating fake id’s and writing faux reviews? I took a creative writing class in college. My story got raked over the coals by a class member. It was hard, embarrassing, and for a while I alternated between not breathing and wanting to throw up. While that experience was hard, I learned a valuable lesson that not everyone is going to like what I had to say in a story, and well, that person wasn’t nice to begin with. I learned to let it go. I wonder if those badly behaved authors were lucky enough to be raked over the coals early in their careers to get a thicker skin and just let it go….
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 7:39 am.
It baffles me too, Amanda. I mean, there’s no way any confrontation is going to end well. And yes, I developed rhino hide early in life. It’s served me well.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:38 am.
I’m a toned down version of me online for the very reasons you said. Business. Reputation. Image. In person I tend to say whatever pops into my head. Not so much online. Having to type certainly helps keep the lip zipped.
I doubt some people would behave any differently regardless of if everyone knew who they really are, which is part of the problem.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 7:44 am.
Amen, sistah!
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:39 am.
Online I love to be a rockhopper penguin, sometimes one with attitude but today I hope I look serene. But I must point out that Johnny, Hugh (Jackman, not Grant) and Gerard are often at my house….
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 8:03 am.
Roflmao, Maggie. Love the rockhopper penguin eyebrows, too.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:40 am.
I tend to be more reserved online. Having family on FB, I watch what I say and post. If a ‘friend’ posts something I don’t think is appropriate, I will delete it, and tell them so. I do use FB to rant sometimes, but I keep it clean, and I keep religion and politics out of it.
I think social media bullying is becoming a real problem. It’s just given bullies a new platform to harass their victems.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 8:50 am.
I think you’ve found the formula, Amy!
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:45 am.
Great question. I think about this a lot, just because there has to be a balance. I have my Writer Barbara self, but I also have my private sites, places where I post more ordinary things.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 9:01 am.
For the longest time my Writer Suzanne persona didn’t even mention that I go by Suzie. I’ve mellowed some, I guess. *g*
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:55 am.
Funny that this should be the topic today after the Marine blasted on FB and got in trouble. As I discussed with my daughter, it never ceases to amaze me that people are STILL surprised when they get in trouble for posting something online for potentially MILLIONS of people to see. They say, “it was taken out of context” or some such nonsense. I don’t mean to sound heartless, but it truly drives me nuts when people won’t take responsibility for a momentary lapse in judgment that happens to everyone once in a while. Freedom of speech doesn’t prevent potential ramifications (i.e. losing job, losing friends, etc.) if you offend someone else. Unfortunately, as fun as Twitter and Facebook can be for some people that usually have a filter (LOL), it can be a megaphone for idiots that type faster than they can think…even if they ‘delete’ the post, lots of people have likely already seen it and said something to someone else about it. That’s why I put ‘delete’ in quotes—once it’s out there, it can usually still be found even after deletion.
Quite frankly, I think a lot of people behave much worse behind the supposed anonymity of the web. I read some of the posts on Yahoo and and other sites, and people are just so ugly and rude behind their little pseudonyms. I would truly hope they wouldn’t say that kind of thing out loud to someone else, but you never know. Some people are just rude whether they’re online or in person.
For me personally, I’m pretty much myself online, just a bit more reserved. I usually talk about the hub, kids or granddaughter, the job, reading, television, movies, etc. I just also keep some things for myself and loved ones. Usually I go by a nickname that I’ve had since I was little, but anyone that has known me for a long time knows it’s me.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 9:32 am.
I know, Julie! I’m forever telling my niece that those pics of her “having fun” on facebook aren’t going to be so fun for her in 5 years when she’s looking for a job, but I guess that’s a lesson she’ll have to learn for herself. Sigh.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:57 am.
I’m me–to a degree. I’m always aware most of what goes online is indelible. I would prefer old gaffs didn’t come back to haunt me. I cringe when I see young people on FaceBook or other social media spewing filth or displaying no discretion with the things they disclose.
My online persona is a pseudonym chosen many years ago with the help of my youngest daughter. My real name is many things, but romantic isn’t one of them (I’m not even sure I’D read a historical romance by someone with my name!) Also, that part of my life must remain separate from the nuts and bolts stuff within the family. Any fallout from the work, stops here (and no, I don’t write erotica or anything close, but idiots abound, and since you can’t fix stupid, I prefer to make sure stupid keeps his or her distance from the children.)
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 9:36 am.
Amen! I think ‘you can’t fix stupid’ is one of the best quotes around and, unfortunately, it is incredibly accurate.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 10:08 am.
I know of several authors in academia who use pseudonyms just to keep a barrier between the teaching world and the romance writing world.
And yes, there are reasons I never post the names of my nephews, etc. I trust you guys, but you never know who else is reading what you write.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 12:00 pm.
I’m Company Manners Me online. I think Company Manners are a good idea in general because, online, you really are in a strange and potentially hostile environment. You don’t know who’s in the room, who’s listening, how they’re interpreting what you’re saying. A friend interprets what you say differently than a stranger would.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 10:00 am.
I like that, Claudia. Company Manners Me.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 12:02 pm.
I am working on day number two of a massive tension headache, so I am playing Ugly Kelly today. I try to keep her hidden away as she can be very, very unbearable (part of it is the Irish in her!). That is a part of me only a few people see.
I have to laugh at myself because my facebook account is my real name. Then my blog and pinterest is Kelly Ryan Watson. Here I am Kelly R/W. Why? I have no clue. I shall change it. Twitter I am just Kelly Watson. *facepalm* (I really have to get my life straight! No wonder I have a headache).
No matter what name I go by I try to be as close to myself as I can. Yes there are times I am just ornery. Those are the times I stay away from everyone. I think Lori said it best. Typing keeps the lips zipped! Reputation is key, and I try to always be reputable:)
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 10:48 am.
Kelly, that’s too much for me to keep straight! *g*
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 12:04 pm.
By the way…how did you do in the cover contest? I forgot to check back.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 4:34 pm.
OMG, I forgot to check, too. I’ll go over there now. Sheesh. *g*
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 4:56 pm.
I am not an author, but I am who I am all the time. I hold nothing back
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:25 am.
There is something to be said for being genuine, Becky.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 12:04 pm.
I am just me. One of me friends at work started calling me Pamiam after we were discussing Dr Suess and I figured that fit so I use it on blogs. I am Pam and what you see or read is what you get.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:54 am.
I love your nickname, Pam. I always hear Green Eggs and Ham when I see your posts. *g*
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 12:05 pm.
I am me everywhere because it would be too exhausting to be different mees all over the place and then I would have to remember which me I was where and whether or not the TGB me ever met up with the FB me and if the Myspace me ever met either of us. So it is just easier to be ME!
Me is very opinionated and sometimes not as diplomatic as she should be but at the same time there is the realization nothing is private on the internet so if there is something you don’t want coming back to bite your hind-quarters later, keep it to yourself.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 11:54 am.
Like you, evlqn, I like my hind-quarters pretty much unbitten. *g*
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 12:07 pm.
I’ve found it makes sitting down much easier if I am not doing it around teeth marks.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 12:18 pm.
With me, it’s “what you see is what you get.” I’m not mean, snarky or rude in real life and I wouldn’t dream of being that way online. I use my real name at our blog and for my reviews but most people also know me as pjpuppymom. I don’t try to hide the connection between the two.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 12:04 pm.
I love the online you, pj. And the in person one!
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 12:12 pm.
Personality wise I am me online. I don’t write nasty or stupid comments just because it can’t be traced back to me. I generally keep my name and personal info hidden because I’ve had a stalker before and its not fun. A lot of weirdos and people storing your date out there. If you don’t believe me search your name at http://www.spokeo.com There are even phone apps that creepy guys use to find girls by searchign where they check in.
, I’m a sagittarius, and my ancestors were archery soldiers.
I mostly use Archer online because creepy guys can’t tell I’m a girl
A lot of people would behave better if they weren’t as hidden, although the a lot of the new generation seems to not care either way.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 12:25 pm.
That’s scary, Archer! And I love your pseudonym, anyway — and the reason for it. Very cool!
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 4:57 pm.
Thanks
Posted on April 28, 2012 at 2:30 am.
I am pretty much me online. I have found I am horrible at thinking up cool names like “Viper” so I have given it up. I wish I could. I suppose I could start a poll amongst my friends….
I think that many people get a sense of confidence and act horribly online since they feel no one can find out who they are. It often makes me think those people are very angry inside and not really nice people in real life. I do think if everyone were “outed” online, the interwebs would be a kinder place.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 12:35 pm.
I totally agree, Sheridan. With a cool name like yours, I don’t think you need “Viper”, anyway.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 4:58 pm.
I am me online in always that count but keep my personal info hidden as I don’t want it floating around the “interwebs”.
No explanations required for my chosen name!!!!
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 1:25 pm.
Snort.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 4:59 pm.
Sorry that was suupose to be “all ways that count”
not “always that count”
(need to go back to bed but work gets in the way)
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 1:26 pm.
and supposed. sheesh.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 1:30 pm.
On-line, I’m mostly real. I use my real name, but usually use a yahoo e-mail that I can access anywhere. My main e-mail I use for work and friends. Things I post on my facebook account I only leave there for a few days before I delete them.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 2:22 pm.
I’m slowly getting used to email being available anywhere you can log in. It still seems kind of weird, though. How does the mail know where to go? *G*
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm.
I am me online. I’d be too confused to try to use a different name or hidden personality. I gotta be me, just gotta be me!
Welcome to Twitter! It’s fun and addictive. Try tweeting while watching your favorite TV show. So fun! Like a pajama party without having to worry about being seen.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 2:30 pm.
Thanks, Susan! And I’m all for a party while I can wear my PJ’s.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 5:00 pm.
I’m pretty much myself online. I like what Claudia described as Company Manners Me, but that’s kind of the real me, too, because I think it’s important to be polite. On the net it’s easier to misconstrue what people are saying because there’s no body language involved. People who comment on any kind of article fascinate and horrify me at the same time.
On fb I just post stuff that interests me – music videos (with a warning if there are explicit lyrics), trivial stuff, etc. I’m not going to post anything religious or political, regardless of my beliefs.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 4:18 pm.
I think you’re doin’ it all the right way, Janae!
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 5:01 pm.
My name is not my own, everything else is. I don’t use anonymity to be horrid to people.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 4:23 pm.
And that is why I like you, Pesky.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 5:02 pm.
I’m definitely “me” online, but with manners and keeping in mind that everything I put in writing is out there for all to see and I don’t ever want it to come back and bite me in the butt.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 6:46 pm.
I like to think that I’m myself online. I just keep in mind that my family is all online as well, and co workers, etc.
My name on here is my real name, and everything I say is really what I think; I just make sure that I don’t say anything potentially inappropriate. 
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 8:10 pm.
I hold back. Definitely. I don’t think I’d ever behave bad enough to make a list, but you never know what’s going to ruffle someone’s feathers.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 8:33 pm.
I’m like you — I don’t touch on some issues that are near and dear to my heart because I feel it’s incorrect for an author to do. Your example about defending your books in reviews is exactly what I mean. I don’t usually post on reader forums either (even though I’m a big reader) because I want readers to have places where they feel safe to say what they really think.
I also don’t/won’t talk politics or religion online when I’m interacting with readers. There’s a place for that, and it’s at home. When I’m online here or on my professional fb page, I feel like I’m hosting a dinner party, chatting about life and laughing . . . and everyone knows that you never, ever discuss politics or religion at dinner parties.
So I’m about 90% me. The other 10% consists of my opinions on Those Topics Which Shall Not Be Named.
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 10:07 pm.
My real name is Monica, and I’m never anything other than myself! I’m not shy offline, so I’m willing to discuss things like my incidents with various “sexy” games like I did here a few days ago. I’d tell those stories to anyone in person if they asked.
What you see of me online is only filtered the same way that I would filter myself in mixed company offline. Only my closest friends and my boyfriend see some of the cruder parts of my persona (I have a sailor’s mouth and love naughty humor when I am with my friends) because I would never expose someone to cursing or dirty jokes unless they are comfortable with that type of humor themselves. It’s just being polite!
I don’t really avoid discussing religion and politics, I am just careful to discuss them with people who enjoy debates or are open minded. I don’t like to argue for arguments sake, but I won’t hide what I believe if someone asks!
Posted on April 27, 2012 at 10:31 pm.
Are you…you online?
Yes, as I am rather comfortable with whom I am. That being said, over the years I have discovered that not everyone is as comfortable with me as I am. I’ve learned to not post the sad tales, edit out the negative parts, and adjust the angle on my perspective the same way a photographer would take a picture of someone’s “better side”. It’s still an honest portrait of my opinion or my life, but a more just more esthetically pleasing one. So yes I am “Me” but I do water my personality down a bit. Sometimes? A lot. Online I am less serious, less intense, less funny and yes … though I hate to use the term … eccentric. But as I said earlier, I am always honest and always me.
When it comes to a person’s on line persona I do believe that one should ask their fellow bloggers/commentators how one comes across. I consider myself a quiet person. Others see me differently. That’s how I know that I have to be aware of my “strong voice”. So, if you are unsure (or even if you are) ask.
Yesterday I receive this in an email from a woman with whom I have blogged with for many years:
“The anticipation of what you might say next is what keeps people coming back for more.”
Ooh? Gosh, but I’m so quiet …
Posted on April 28, 2012 at 2:51 pm.
Do you participate differently depending on whether you’re using your own name or going by, Viper, say?
Absolutely.
Posted on April 28, 2012 at 3:04 pm.
If you use a pseudonym, how did you choose it?
I never meant to blog. I was simply looking for a book to read. But there were all of these people discussing books and … really If you love to read how could you resist commenting? Back then I used my real name. Sometimes I still do. However I like to use a pseudonym because it keeps me focused on why I am on a site.
Miss Congeniality is obviously not my real name. I chose it because it reminds me to be a “kinder gentler me”. My online friends have described my voice as “strong” so I try to tone down my opinion and turn down the volume of it. In my case I am here ( at TGB ) after all to read about the writers, their books, and to glean a little wisdom from my fellow readers. Not to talk about me, this is not to say that I don’t feel welcome to do so.
Posted on April 28, 2012 at 3:06 pm.
Do you think some people would behave better if there was some way to tell who they really are?
Here’s what I’ve learned from my six years of blogging: it is very hard to hide who you are. People get to recognize your writing style. You might change your online name; try to pretend that you are someone or something that you are not. Not a big deal if you’re just a reader like me trying to stay low profile. But use an anonymous or fake ID to burn another reader, writer, write a bogus review, or behave badly? You will get busted. And it will ruin your reputation. This just happened to a writer a couple of months ago.
Publishing might be a big business, but it is a very small community. Readers know everything. And the news about a writer’s or a blogger’s behavior both good and bad travels through the blogging/reading/online community very fast.
Posted on April 28, 2012 at 3:32 pm.
Suzanne -
It’s the real me and I guess at my age and by now I’ve excepted myself for who I am and that Ihave a mind of my own so I just say things bluntly now and accept that there are time others won’t agree with me.
When I was younger I often tried to be what others expected and finally realized that just being myself what was the most important thing.
Since I’m in my 60′s I’m not about to change but I find that I’ve become a better listener and try to take all circumstances and views into consideration where before I may have discounted others opinions I now weigh them carefully and stop and think instead of making a decision or form an opinion. In the end I am who I am and I like who I am so yes, my name is Jeanne Miro and I’m proud to just be me!
Posted on April 29, 2012 at 1:03 am.
I am online and use a pseudonym but I am the same as it is a part of my name, and I always say it is cowardly to speak if you hide behind something. Double standards people who can be anonymous for some reason have a tendency to be mean, I have found that to be the case.
Posted on May 1, 2012 at 2:38 pm.