I have a florescent light under a cabinet that doesn’t work. I’ve changed the bulb twice–no easy feat, as they go in a certain way and click in a certain way–but the light won’t come on. What does this mean for me? It means I am going to have to call The Guy to come and change a light bulb. The Guy is no one guy in particular. He’s the one you find in the yellow pages or on your neighborhood boards who do the thing you need them to do. It’s never The Girl. It’s always The Guy. Because guys are born with some extra brain cell that makes them know how to do things and want to do things that we don’t. They know, for example, if the light bulb doesn’t work which thingy needs to be replaced. I can’t even describe the fixture to the guy at Lowe’s. It’s embarrassing!
I am a big fan of The Deadliest Catch, and I don’t know why. If anyone were to propose to me that we go way out in the Bering Sea and fish with iron cages that weigh several hundred pounds, I would run in the opposite direction. Those guys seem to think nothing of it. They are way out–way out, so far out that if someone gets hurt it takes a couple of days for anyone to reach them–and they don’t care. They have boat mechanical failures that would tempt me to slit my wrists before I went down with the ship, because what else is going to happen when the hydraulic steering wheel goes out and you’re adrift? You’re going to die, that’s what. But these guys smoke, talk about it, find some duct tape and epoxy glue and “patch” it. And then they head back to a port as soon as possible, right? No. They keep fishing. That, I feel sure, is something only a Guy would do. Show me a woman who would be okay in that situation and I will show you an anomaly.
I am about to embark on some renovations that include taking out a half wall between my kitchen and living area. I had a few people come by to talk about it. One was a woman. She had some fabulous ideas about what I should do to my house, including lights and furnishings. And while she knew that the wall could come down, she wasn’t concerned about how. Turns out she has A Guy. The others who came were all men, and all of them, every single one, started off with the same thing: “We’ll have to open up the sheet rock and see what’s in there, decided what kind of beam.” And then they started talking beams while I nodded and said, “oh wow,” and “I see,” while I was thinking of what sort of chairs I am going to get. I hired one of The Guys and they start this week. They will show up with more Guys, and they will stomp around and talk about beams. That’s what the Guys do.
Are you a fan of Deadliest Catch? If you are, do you know why? Do those guys amaze you with their shrug-it-off attitude? Are there things around your house that only a Guy can or will do? Is there anything that men in your life talk about that causes you to privately sink into the current book you are reading or sing little ditties in your head?