I had a blog all written for today, but I tossed it because I received some big news over the weekend and I want to talk about it.
My son is getting married!
Of course I immediately started thinking about the wedding. I know from my own that they are MAJOR PRODUCTIONS, and it has only gotten worse in the last ten to twenty years. So I began noodling around the web to see what is involved.
A day later I was still thrilled, but also scared to death. The best I can figure it out, even a modest wedding costs big bucks, and even a small wedding has a gazillion pieces to it. Whenever I thought I had a mental to-do list, I would discover yet one more thing that would be making someone frantic at some point in the next year. Linens, for example. It seems that often you have to rent them for the tables. Who knew?
So I stood back from it all, and looked for the good news within the good news. And here it is— I am the mother of the groom. In the olden days we didn’t do much at all. Nowadays we do more, but not nearly as much as the mother of the bride. For one thing, the bride gets to make all those decisions, and her mother gets to deal with the melt downs.
Still, I expect this to occupy much thought and discussion in the months to come. I have drawn up a little list to help me deal with all of it:
1) Keep my mouth shut unless I am asked for advice
3) Offer to foot the bill for more than families of the groom did in the olden days
4) Keep my mouth shut unless I am asked for advice
5) Criticize nothing
6) Repeat often the following “It will all work out in the end so don’t get upset about it”
7) Keep my mouth shut unless I am asked for advice.
8. Make it clear that I do not bake cookies and can’t help with the traditional cookie table that is required at weddings in this area. (Hundreds, homemade, in numerous varieties, to be taken away by guests in little boxes as their “favor.” It is a cool custom if I don’t have to bake any and just get to eat them.)
Now, about numbers 1, 4, and 7— I have already broken that rule. What can I say? I’m a control freak. But I have vowed not to break it in the future. I am just trusting that my advice will indeed be requested every now and then so I get to have some fun.
As for the gazillion details, things are just starting. Wish us all luck!
Are there any other rules you would advise I put on that list?
Does your area, family, or heritage have a distinct wedding tradition like we have the cookie table?
Since my wedding knowledge base is decades old, are there any new fandangled customs or surprises or “who would guess” details that you want to warn me about?
(I really like the style of the bridesmaid gowns up in that picture, but maybe not the color. Not that anyone is going to ask me for advice about that.)
NYTimes Bestselling and two time RITA-winning author of historical romances; lover of artisan jewelry; industry numbers wonk. Her next book, The Counterfeit Mistress, will be published Sept 24, 2013.
Filed under Madeline Hunter, My Life As A Plebe, alpha males, bestselling romance writer, blog for women, cookie tables, goddess blogs, historical novels, historical romance, mother of the groom, romance books, romance writer, wedding customs, wedding gowns, weddings.