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Here’s your sign.

As I troll through the net, I’m always on the lookout for signs that make me grin so that I can share them with you. Here’s the latest batch:

This sign is probably the most unnecessary sign I’ve ever read:

I hope they post a lot of these signs around Florida during hurricane season. Otherwise, when the flood waters rise, people won’t know what to do. Later on, of course, while floating in their basements, they’ll see a sign like this and think, “Oh! CLIMB. I never thought of that!”

Speaking of danger, check out this ‘avoid danger’ sign:

I’m not sure who they’re warning — the guy in the wheelchair or the gator who is about to get a mouthful of metal, but this doesn’t look as if it will end well.

Some of the foreign signs are confusing. Take this one, for example:

I’m not sure what they’re warning us about there, but ah . . . consider yourself warned.

I have no idea what this next sign is about, either, but I get the impression that it’s All Bad:

All I can say is, “Ouch.”

Some people make their own signs, which I respect. It’s truly an art form of sorts. If course, if you’re going to make a sign, it might help if you check the spelling before you post it:

At least they’re fresh.

Check out the possessive tone of this guy’s sign:

Ha, dude. I not only read it, but I just got a few thousand other people to read it, too. Take THAT, you sign hoarder!

Some people who make their own signs have a sense of whimsy, like this person:

After I read that sign, I was sad it was just a picture. I want a free strip of paper. I could use it write a phone number on.

Happy Thursday, my friends! Have you seen any signs lately?

Written by Karen Hawkins

New York Times and USA Today best-selling author Karen Hawkins writes lively and fun historical and contemporary romances. Check out her website to win free books, gift cards, and even an occasional tiara! Coming MAY 21st is HOW TO PURSUE A PRINCESS, the second book in the Duchess Diaries Series. HOW TO PURSUE A PRINCESS is a Regency-era retelling of famed fairytale, Little Red Riding Hood, complete with a lovely, red-cloaked heroine who must decide between the handsome Early of Huntley and the dark, dangerous, unprincipled Prince Wulfinski!

Visit Karen Hawkins's website  |  Follow Karen Hawkins on Twitter  |  Follow Karen Hawkins on Facebook


66 Comments on “Here’s your sign.”

You can track this conversation through its atom feed.

  1. Nickie Fleming says:

    Those signs really made me smile, Karen! Right now I can’ think of seeing any funny sign over here, but I remember once seeing one where some of the letters were missing, which made the text quite hilarious!

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Nickie, that happened at a grocery store near here. It said WINN DIXIE, THE MEAT PEOPLE. Well the E and L stopped working so suddenly it read: WINN DIXIE, THE MEAT POLE.

      Yeah, they fixed it pretty quickly after that. :)

  2. JenG says:

    HAHA! Some of those were really funny! Fresh Vaggies…. lMAO! I’ve not seen any good signs lately but we will be driving from Florida to Ohio in a couple of weeks so along that drive I will have to be on the lookout. Of course, I will be on major highways the vast majority of the drive but you never know!

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Keep an eye out for us, Jen. You’re right and you’ll never know what you’ll see … :)

      Enjoy your trip, too!

  3. LoriHandeland says:

    Love funny signs. Thanks, Karen!

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      You’re welcome!

  4. Freshechelle says:

    Dear author of the NYT best seller TAMING OF A SCOTTISH PRINCESS, (insert muppet level excitement here)

    Why yes, I did recently see a sign that I took a picture of. It was outside of the road stand dive my mom picked for her Mother’s Day dinner. It read: No outside food or drinks permitted. It was placed Nextel to their Zagat Rated sign.

    It’s a family tradition to go to a hot dog joint on Mother’s Day. Stay classy, my friends.

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Heh! Thank you very much. :) I have a headache from my two glasses of celebratory wine from last night. I’m such a lightweight! :)

      I love your sign! Yes, none of that ‘outside food,’ please. Not in our ‘outside venue.’ Lol!

  5. Kelly Ryan Watson says:

    You cracked me up this morning! I love it when you do these. I saw a sign (on internet) that had what appeared to be an ant shoveling asphalt(?). There was also a sign I would see on my way to work that read “Flee Market.” *sigh* I just scratch my head and say welcome to Podunk, NC!

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Lol1 Flee Markets scare me, too.

  6. Judy F says:

    I love signs like that. Haven’t seen any lately. Thanks for making me smile.

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      You’re very welcome!

  7. Julia London says:

    Those are hilarious! This morning, I have seen a sign of someone who owes copy edits procrastinating by looking at funny signs.

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      I am so busted.

      *sigh*

  8. Pesky says:

    I love the sign:

    “Always be yourself…unless you can be Batman, always be Batman.”

    I cries out to the Masked Avenger in me.

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      You know, Pesky, I’ve always suspected that there was a little masked avenger in you. Thank you for confirming that. Heh!

      And of COURSE I’d always be Batman. Just check out his smooth ride and then look at my Subaru Outback. No comparison.

  9. Julie says:

    OMG, I almost had to pull over I was laughing so hard. This sign said “CLARENCE–GONG OUT OF BIZNUSS” at some little tiny store when I was going to a doctor’s appointment. Since ‘clearance’ has ALWAYS been one of my favorite words in the English language, I always look to see what is being cleared out. I had to look back to make sure I saw what I thought I saw…then I called my daughter and we were howling with laughter about it. I was planning to go back, but he had to cauterize something in my nose and I felt like someone had taken a bat to my nose, so I just went straight home. Truth be told I had forgotten about it until now. I have to go back to that area tomorrow, so I’ll try to remember to look and see if their ‘biznuss’ has closed…. LOL

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Julie, they’re probably sitting in their customerless store right now, wondering where their Biznuss went wrong.

      But I think we can guess … :)

      Hope your nose is all better!

  10. Barbara Samuel says:

    Those are hilarious.

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Thanks, Barb! It’s a great way to waste time, whether on the internet or just driving around. There’s a super funny billboard here in town. I need to get a picture of it, but I’m going to have to brave a super busy area to do it. But one day I will!

  11. dbrown3400 says:

    Thanks for the funny signs, Miss NYT! I once received an email with a ton of funny signs in it that I wish I had now to share. I remember one: “Bill’s Marine, Zombies cannot swim. Rent a boat.” That one only stuck in my mind because I watch The Walking Dead.

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Lol! Now see, that’s a sign worth having right there. And it could be useful, too!

  12. Dana S says:

    I love these signs! And The Ellen Show does a segment on funny signs that I love. They crack me up every time.
    When we were driving around visiting colleges, in New England, my dad and I saw a sign at a roadside diner/gas station that read “Eat here! Get Gas!”
    We passed on that. ;)

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      I’ve seen that sign! And I passed on it, too. Sheesh … I always hope that the sign people just have a great sense of humor instead of being flatly unaware. That would be a little sad. :-/

  13. kris says:

    hilarious! there’s nothing like a burning uterus to ruin your day. :)

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      kris, whatever that sign means, we should all be Very Afraid. Heh!

  14. AmyS says:

    LOL! Thanks for the laughs this morning.

    Someone in town has a sign on their lawn that reads “Don’t poop here.” My 8 year old said to me the other day “They know dogs can’t read, right?” We got a good laugh out of that.

    There is also a road in the neighbouring town called Queens Bush, but some has added a The in front of Queens. It’s been this way for months and know one has changed it.

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      I have to say, the Queen sign was askin’ for trouble. Lol!

  15. Kelly (who is sleeping lots lately) Proellocks says:

    Sadly I haven’t seen any funny or random signs but that could be because I haven’t been going out much since I got crook. Most of the funny signs that I have seen have been on Facebook and have either involved cats or something else. Sometimes that something else hasn’t been clean but has been darn funny due to the way my head is wired.

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      I think I’m wired that way, too. Salaciousness, thy name is Hawkins.

  16. Tammy Lever says:

    Whenever we drive to our farm in rural Saskatchewan, we always pass by a sign on the side of the road indicating Rattlesnake Crossing! I’ve seen coyotes, cows, and antelopes but have yet to see a rattlesnake crossing the road!

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      No way. I’ve never, ever seen a snake crossing of any type. And if you see one, do you think they want you to brake, or are they forewarning you so you can be sure to hit those suckers right in the head?

  17. Alie says:

    LOL I just posted a picture on your FB page without knowing todays blog :D I love those funny signs!

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Alie, that was a terrific sign! Thanks for the laugh. :)

  18. SuzyQ says:

    I love these signs. Check out this one that George Takei recently posted http://pinterest.com/pin/182888434838166466/

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      I lol’d at the lol! I didn’t realize that was a stick person at ALL. Too funny!

  19. Kathleen O says:

    OMG some of these were truly ridiculous while other were sublime. Thanks for giving me my second laugh of the day.

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      You’re welcome! :)

  20. Suzanne Enoch says:

    Bwaa haaa haaa!! I love the “no farting” sign. I’d hate to have to admit that I got fined for flatulence. *g*

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Did you notice the x is not over the er, gassy area, but over the guy’s stomach. Almost like one is ok, but a growling stomach is not.

  21. CateS says:

    Nothing quite like travelling the backroads of America…

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Yup. It’s definitely educational. :)

  22. Marlo H. says:

    My son would love the sign with Free strips of paper! My favorite sign was at Christmas time about 15 years ago, “Help our environment, Buy a fresh cut Christmas tree!” My daughter is really good at misreading signs. She was at the lake one day and read a sign as Death Increases Gradually instead of Depth. My favorite though is when we go to the used book store, there is a sign near it that says CPAP Clinic. She always reads it as CRAP Clinic :)

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Heh! Sounds like your daughter would be a lot of fun on trips. I’d put her in the front seat and just have her read the signs as we passed them.

      1. Marlo H. says:

        I’d put her in the front seat just so we wouldn’t forget her! 5 kids, just sayin, she’s the quiet one. Lol!

  23. Astrid says:

    Oh my…my cat was getting upset because I laughed so loud. These are hilarious :D

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Astrid, I’m so glad we got to upset your cat!

  24. Madeline Hunter says:

    I think we should have a blog just on what that sign with the female symbol and the fire symbol together means. (Beware, hot guys ahead?)

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Madeline, the ‘loins on fire’ thought did slip through my head, but I couldn’t get my fingers to actually write it down.

  25. Madeline Hunter says:

    And congrats on the book’s NYTimes listing!

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Thank you!!! :)

  26. Sabrina Jeffries says:

    Those are hilarious! Ava Stone and I were driving to the mountains recently when we came across a sign for Dinkins Bottom Rd. We wondered just how big Dinkin’s Bottom had to be for him to need a whole road for it!

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      That Dinkin. Always showing off. :D

  27. Susan Mallery says:

    FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!!

    Hysterical, Karen! Thanks for sharing them. Now I find myself desperately wanting a small strip of paper, too. If you build it, they will come.

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      I’d like to put up a free strip sign and just sit back and see who takes one. That might make a great study on human nature .. or not. Heh!

  28. miranda says:

    Nice, got a good laugh in. Amusing signs I can remember.. the ones that say “No Passing When Opposing Traffic is Present” (but what if I want to be in a head-on collision?) and “Do Not Pick Up Hitchhikers, Prison Area” (that one made sense, but amused me anyway, I haven’t the foggiest notion why though).

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Miranda, it amused you because you probably imagined a guy hitchhiking right next to the sign wearing an orange jump suit. I know I would!

  29. Claudia Welch says:

    There’s a local business that I see every time I grocery shop and I laugh each time I see the sign:

    Chang’s Tae Kwon Do and Ballet

    I always imagine ninja ballerinas. :)

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      Lol! I thought the same thing!

  30. Kima says:

    My dad got tired of people trespassing on some land he had out in the back of beyond, so he asked a sign-painter friend of his to make him a special sign. It read, “Trespassers will be shot, hung, stabbed, drawn and quartered. Anything left will be given to the sheriff.” It lasted about a day before someone stole it…. and trespassed to take it!

    1. Karen Hawkins says:

      They TOOK it? Irony!!!! :)

  31. Michelle says:

    Here in California we have adopt a highway signs that have the business or organization that keeps that area of highway clean. A sign near our home says that portion of highway is sponsored by DAMM (Dads against meth) and MADD (Mothers against drunk driving). Cracks me up every time I drive past it.

  32. Lori Jowe says:

    Reminds me of the story about the man who asked for the deer crossing sign to be moved because too many deer were being killed… Seriously thought the deer READ the sign and were purposely crossing in that spot.
    People are funny that way.

  33. Mary Preston says:

    Signs are such funny things, when they don’t quite make sense.

  34. KB says:

    The fact that I haven’t seen any great signs to pass on, makes me feel rather boring. But I giggled at the ones you found, then gasped to realize people in wheelchairs rolling swiftly down inclines didn’t get along with crocodiles! Who knew?? And the girl with her womb on fire…I’m dying to know what the heck that is about to cause such a problem a sign had to be created? [love Susan's "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!" reference though] Thanks for the Friday morning laugh, Karen. Have a faaaabulous weekend and keep on ‘climbing’!! ♥

  35. librarypat says:

    These are wonderful. Thanks for the smiles and laugh.

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