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Full disclosure on today’s blog: I watch a lot of trash reality TV. I can’t help it, I can’t look away. A lot of them have to do with girls, both young and old. Girls, a new HBO comedy, is written, produced, directed and starred in by 25 year-old Lena Durham (Durnam? Something like that). There is a lot to admire about a 25 year old who does all that at her age. She’s clearly got something going on, but I don’t get her girls. They are twenty-somethings out of college, living in New York. The series is about their friendship and their lives and loves. it has been billed as “this” generation’s Sex and the City. These are not girls I think I would have hung out with at that age. Too many neuroses, not enough thinking forward. Was I like that at that age? I don’t think so. In college, my friends and I couldn’t wait to get out and start working and to experience life, hopefully some place far away. We took life by the horns and made it what we wanted. These girls seem to cope with what life throws at them.
And then there are the grown-up girls living privileged lives in big cities like New York and Beverly Hills. I am talking Real Housewives, a guilty pleasure. First of all, none of them are real housewives. They all have help, and we all get to live vicariously in world where you have drivers and plenty of money for botox. But they treat each other horribly. They fight, they confront each other about perceived slights or bad parenting in strange, inappropriate places. I am sure the producers encourage it, but still…I don’t know anyone like this. I don’t know who would want to do this on national TV. My friends are respectful. We all have appropriate boundaries and we do not pick fights or cause scenes. We do NOT make remarks about each other’s parenting. I guess that’s why we’re not on TV.
I won’t even go into The Bachelor, in which 20 women vie for “love” with one guy and somehow develop such intense feelings in a few short meetings that some will become catty and mean with each other, because I want to get right to Dance Moms. I am happy to say I’ve only seen this a couple of times because even I, queen of trash TV, can’t take this one. The dance coach of a girl’s dance team, and the dancer’s moms, talk about each other, pick fights, threaten to quit and storm out, or get thrown out, all in front of their young daughters. The girls just keep dancing. I have friends whose kids are involved in all sorts of activities. They band together with other moms to support the activity. They don’t wait until one walks out the room and rip into them, or scream at the teacher with them standing right there. Of course, I don’t think they have teachers who put the kid down to the parent in front of them, either.
I can’t really complain about how awful it is that these shows are on TV because I watch them! But I usually watch them with my mouth hanging open, wondering, who does that? No one I know. The women and girls I know are very supportive and friendly and caring. Oh, and they all read, which is a big bonus 
. I can’t imagine life without them, and I can’t imagine ever getting into a screaming match with any of them. Especially not on TV!
Have you seen these shows? What’s your take? Tell us about your circle of girls–what are you all like? What things do you like to do with each other?
62 Comments on “Girls”
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I hadn’t watched ‘Girls’ yet, nor do I feel like watching it. I had never watched ‘Sex and the City’ since it really didn’t interest me. I had watched some of the ‘Real Housewives’ but again, hadn’t watched it faithfully. As for ‘Dance Moms’, saw a few episodes, but didn’t care for it.
I have nothing against these kind of shows, but there are only a few of them that I would watch IF I’m bored and/or nothing else is on.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 5:10 am.
ER, nothing else is on
.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 8:42 am.
I haven’t seen any of these shows and strangely enough I am glad. My circle of girl friends is very small. We get along fairly well but sometimes argue because we all tend to be stubborn. We don’t talk all the time but I tend to like it that way since I don’t like to talk for the sake of talking.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 5:53 am.
I am the same way, Kelly.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 8:42 am.
I honestly don’t think I could watch any of those shows even if someone paid me! There is no way any of that garbage is actual “reality” and I’d be so annoyed watching that I would probably throw something at my TV and break it.
I have a small circle of girlfriends, not many of which are close. We get together at the pool and plan beach days but otherwise, I don’t see them all that often. There always seems to be something going on that inhibits us getting together. Now that it is summer, we will probably be getting together more often but that remains to be seen.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 6:36 am.
I belong to a bookclub, which gives us a reason to get together every month. Most of us wouldn’t miss it because it is so much fun. Because otherwise, I’d be like your friends – something is always coming up, it seems.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 8:43 am.
I don’t really watch TV myself, but do sometimes sit with my daughter when she watches. She loves Dance Moms. See, she is a dancer and, well, I am a dance mom. But not like THOSE dance moms!
We have such a close, supportive group of moms and kids that I truly find it unbelievable the things they say and do. But, I do know that those types of studios exist out there. The kids on the show are great dancers though!
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 6:39 am.
Kris, thank you! I couldn’t tell if they were acting like that for the camera or not. And I agree, what little dancing I’ve seen, those girls are really good.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 8:44 am.
Dance Moms, shuddah, those women are barracuda. Even stage moms look at these women and say…”That’s totally out of line”. The platinum blonde and her best bud are horrendous human beings and if she keeps sneering the way she does her face is going to freeze that way. I stopped watching it because ratings is rewarding them for poor behavior.
Girlfriends. If you’re not going to treat your friends well they aren’t really your friends. They enrich my life, why would I ever treat them like these women on reality TV treat each other.
And we’d never hit one another. This doesn’t make us weak, like the “real housewives” and “mob wives” seem to think. If you need to lay hands on another person you have lost the fight. Walking away should always be an option.
I think TV goes out, finds the most psychotic group of people they can find, and then films them. And the thing that gets me is that after they see what absolute idiots they are making of themselves, they go on TV for a second season thinking they are awesome.
Idiots
And don’t get me started on Kate Gosslin.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 6:44 am.
Oh! or Natalie Nunn (for talent she has Nunn) of Bad Girls Club. That girls has a highly inflated sense of self worth. Or any of the Bad Girls for that matter. If you’re on a show because you are a Bad Girl, that’s not a compliment.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 6:46 am.
Pesky, you are so right — I forgot all about the fighting. I wouldn’t even know how, LOL.
And don’t get me started on Kate Gosslin either. Shudder.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 8:45 am.
I haven’t watched any of these shows. I thought GIRLS looked interesting from the previews but maybe not.
My circle of girls these days are all writers. We like to go on retreats, which is short for writing and talking with wine.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 7:35 am.
GIRLS is interesting, Lori. I think it is well done but I can’t relate to them as women. You should give it a try.
So you actually write on your writing retreats? hahaa.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 8:46 am.
Nope, not a fan of reality shows at all…. Shouting, using bad-words, bitching, back-biting is so obviously encouraged in these shows, its ridiculous!!! The only reality show I watch is Masterchef Australia; the focus is purely on the cooking and none of the bitching.
I could be wrong but it seems to me that this bad-mouthing on reality tv is mostly an American phenomenon. If you’ve seen Masterchef Australia and Masterchef USA, you’ll know what I’m talking about.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 8:23 am.
How interesting! I haven’t seen any of the australian shows. But I know that a lot of our reality TV starts in Britain and gets adapted here. I wonder how the bad-mouthing is there?
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 8:47 am.
My Kitchen Rules is pretty good as I don’t watch the Australian Masterchef. Manu is so much hotter than George and my cat is going nuts with a toy mouse.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 9:09 am.
I usually get sucked into 1 ‘reality’ show, and that is Big Brother. There is usually nothing else on in the summer, so I end up watching it. I am not really a ‘reality’ show fan. I feel they take tv time away from real shows and jobs away from real actors. Every year great shows get cancelled and more and more reality is added.
When I get together with my small group of friends, it’s usually for lunch or dinner. If family and time permit, then one of us will host a night time get together, with movies, games and lots of wine and food.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 8:34 am.
Sounds so fun, Amys. I love nights like that with the girls.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 8:47 am.
We turned the cable off a few months ago. We found that we were falling asleep to the television and watching very little programming. We are having much more fun in the evening and even my pants are fitting better!
My girlfriends like to chat over a glass of wine on any given evening. We keep talking about making bigger plans but the back porch is so convenient! I also belong to a book club but we are on hiatus during the summer.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 8:42 am.
Kez, I understand completely. I have had to make myself a rule – no eating after 8. Nothing. Seems like the snacks were piling up after 8, and that’s usually when I call it a day and veg in front of the awful TV with the awful shows.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 8:49 am.
I do enjoy Girls, though it’s pretty dark. The writing is very good, and I’m intrigued by some od the characters.
As for other reality tv—I can’t take it.
I have several circles of friends. Writers, travelers, and seekers. We all do the same things, though–walk, eat, talk.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 9:11 am.
I like it to, Barbara. But I sort of wish Hannah would get her act together.
And by the way, I want to be your friend and walk and talk and eat.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 10:21 am.
I’d love to walk and eat and talk with you.
Posted on June 12, 2012 at 8:45 am.
I have to say I rarely have the patience to watch those. They drive me crazy. Especially Dance Moms that Tiara show (I can’t recall the name)….that ‘dance teacher’ is horrid and so are ALL of those egg donors that call themselves mothers. I feel so sorry for those children growing up in that environment–no wonder they grow up entitled. OY! We don’t have HBO, so there are a lot of their shows that I miss out on until they hit DVD. Loved Sex and the City. I’m wanting to go and rent Game of Thrones…I’ve heard good things about that.
I like the talent reality shows….So You Think You Can Dance, mostly, but I also watch DWTS, The Voice, America’s Got Talent, and I used to watch Idol until it became all about the judges instead of the contestants.
I was actually watching I Love Lucy and The Golden Girls over the weekend because there wasn’t much else on, and they were SOOOOO funny. I really miss that kind of humor on television.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 9:18 am.
There really isn’t much to veg in front of right now. Makes me think I ought to be working.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 10:22 am.
Out of those shows I have only watched a couple of the Housewives episodes. Even then I found myself shaking my head. I believe money really does make people crazy! I cannot watch any show that involves parents, coaches, or instructors being idiots in front children. I was pushed hard in athletics and felt the sting of palm to cheek one time when I did not play well. I know it is just television but I wonder what it does to the child’s mental state, and how it will effect (a or e ffect?) them down the road. Whatever happened to the days of coaches, parents and instructors being positive role models?
Many of my friends and I live hundreds of miles away, but when we do get together we eat, drink, and catch up on each others lives. My friends here in NC are more plant and book lovers. We usually get together and eat, drink, talk gardens, etc. See a pattern? Occasionally we do movies. I guess it all depends on the day!
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 9:30 am.
Kelly, I wonder about those dancing girls, too. Too see all that, and in front of cameras. It’s not pretty
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 10:23 am.
Hi, my name is Jeanne and I am a reality tvaholic. I watch so many reality tv shows that I don’t have time for scripted shows any more. Will not watch Dance Moms cause I want the teach punched in the face. Love things like My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding and the American version; Big Brother; Bachelor(ette); Amazing Race; American’s Next Top Chef; Survivor; Project Runway; So You Think You Can Dance; and many more. Found new one last night on CMT – Redneck Island. I really need to find a meeting…….
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 9:50 am.
I’ve got your meeting, Jeanne. Come over and we’ll watch together and talk about what compels us, LOL
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 10:24 am.
I confess that I have watched Dance Moms. That studio is only about 6 miles from where I live. I had never heard of it.The owner is a monster, though, and I can only imagine what those families are paying for the privilege of being on that dance team. With all the travel and costumes it has to be near twenty grand a year, I figure.
In general I don’t understand why anyone would allow one of these shows to intrude and depict them this way. But I think Real Housewives is scripted, and they are all actresses, no?
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 9:53 am.
I think housewives is scripted, but I don’t think they are actresses. I think they are just crazy.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 10:24 am.
My bonus granddaughters have been competition dancers for years so I know this world well. I’ve seen some bad behavior from both moms and teachers over the years but nothing that comes anywhere close to Dance Moms. They tried to enter one of the competitions we attended earlier this year and were turned down. So glad!
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 12:01 pm.
I am such a reality tv junkie. I don’t think I watch any other type of tv show!
I have to say, however, that all the violence between the women on shows like Mob Wives and Basketball Wives and the shouting and yelling and fighting on Dance Moms (my favorite reality show) and Real Housewives of NJ is starting to make me feel disillusioned. Who are these women that relish physical altercations and fight and yell and scream like it’s always Monday morning? And the worst thing is they do it in front of their children.
I’m looking forward to the new bravo dating series about three women who are relationship/romance advisers.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 9:57 am.
I don’t get the violence, either. I am such a wuss! I could never take a swing or defintely not receive one without collapsing and crying like an ugly baby.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 10:26 am.
Real life and reality shows have nothing to do with each other. I have a friend who is an actress and they actually put our casting calls for various ‘reality shows.’ One of the show casting calls I saw was for a couple’s show, but you didn’t audition as a couple at all — you just auditioned and then MATCHED you with a guy and made up your history. That’s pretty far from the truth, isn’t it?
I’m a sucker for Don’t Mess With the Dress and oh, what’s the other one where the pick the bridesmaids gowns? I don’t know why I like those shows, because I’m not a wedding sort of person, but I really love seeing all of the gowns. Hmmm. Maybe I AM a fan of the gowns … but just on other people. That could be.
One show I can’t/don’t watch — Toddlers and Tiaras. I’m not a fan of any part of the ‘beauty industry’ but especially of the pageant system and to see those poor kids involved in it — ugh.
Oh, and I saw an episode of Monster-In-Law this weekend. I’d never seen the show, but all I could think while watching it was, “So move far, far, far, FAR away and BAM!, no problem.”
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 10:40 am.
I haven’t heard of Monsters-in-law. I don’t watch toddlers, either. and I LOVE those wedding gown bridesmaid dress shows. I like looking at all the wedding gowns too. Altho I think I have seen them all now.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 11:11 am.
I made it through two eps of Girls but didn’t like it at all. I thought it rather sad and having a 24 yr daughter I didn’t find it to be all that accurate either.How they found it comparable to Sex and the City is beyond me. As far as reality shows go I like the cooking challenge ones. And some of the animals ones. But for the most part think they are rather ridiculous and later you find it’s really not reality but editing that controls show.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 11:11 am.
Well that’s good to know, Sewwolf. I saw an article in Time Mag (I think) about Lena Durham, who, like I said, is incredibly talented. They said she was the voice of her generation, and I thought, really?? Really??
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 11:26 am.
I must admit I NEVER watch thart kind of TV – I guess I am from an age where you a) could not yet watch TV and b) if you could, only at certain times and only kids programs.
Of course I hear talking about it, but even now I’m over 50 I do select the programs I watch and mostly view good thrillers, such as Inspector Linley or Morse (now Lewis), Midsomer Murders, …
One of our commercial stations also makes a Bachelor series each year, and something called ‘Farmer seeks wife’. I think you must be desperate to want to be in such a program!
Imo, when love doesn’t find you, no need to go looking for it!!!
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 11:19 am.
I would love to see Farmer Seeks Wife!
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 11:25 am.
I have known a few people who acted like divas – or rather adult spoiled, horrible children. I did not spend any time with them because they were just horrid people.
I don’t watch reality TV, though I have caught snippets of some of these shows when in waiting rooms, etc. and they are just awful – and so played up for the cameras. Half the shows are staged and coached – so the “reality” level is questionable. I wish they would go away.. but they are cheap and, for some reason, popular.. so looks like they are here to stay.
My friends are in the supportive camp – there for fun and laughs and martinis when you need them and there to hand a tissue when it is called for.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 12:06 pm.
My kind of friends!
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 1:25 pm.
Watching Springer and feeling dirty. Yet unable to look away.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 12:07 pm.
That’s the lowest of the low
. I wonder where he finds those people. Florida is my guess, haha
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 1:26 pm.
I saw these Girls being interviewed on The View.. I think it is going to be a great show…
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 12:31 pm.
I think it’s good. Just a little hard for me to relate to
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 1:27 pm.
I have seen parts of these shows in passing and I have to say I do not like them, very few of the participants are worth the powder to blow them to kingdom come. I like American Pickers and Storage Wars. I love Diners,Drive-ins & Dives; Holmes on Homes; and Anthony Bourdain.
Nasty people just turn me off, I have no interest in them or their petty little lives. I am totally amazed they didn’t spay or neuter the entire cast of Jersey Shore before they let them out of their cages, but that’s just me.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 12:42 pm.
Tell us how you really feel! hahaa. I have never seen the Jersey Shore. Talk about not relating. It’s like a foreign country to me.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 1:29 pm.
Yeah I know, if I ever get over my shyness I will be alright.
The g-sons watch Jersey Shore sometimes and it is gawd-awful! No one should have that much dirty laundry to air!
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 1:49 pm.
Hello,
I have a question about your blog, do you think you could email me?
David
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 12:55 pm.
You know, I live in the O.C., and I’ve never seen one of those housewives. And my sis sometimes goes out to breakfast with the other Little League moms, and they talk about homework and how much their boys have progressed during the season.
My buds and I talk about work and movies and those unbelievable people on reality TV. *g*
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 1:06 pm.
Suzanne, if you ever see one, you must report back. I can’t imagine getting up every day and slathering on the eye shadow and eyelashes.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 1:30 pm.
omgoodness i have watched dance moms. personally i think the mothers should stay out of it and let the girls dance. to me theres to much “mom” and not enough of showing the girls dance. i also like toddlers and tiaras those moms can get a little crazy. if the girl doesnt want to be in pagents then dont make her
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 1:26 pm.
What about Abby Miller, the dance teacher? She’s got a mouth on her, doesn’t she?
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 1:32 pm.
When my sons were small we lived across the alley from a studio that specialized in casting kids for commercials. I swear most of those kids probably ended up in therapy because of their mothers! They would enter the building yelling at the kids to do this or that and leave yelling because they did something wrong. When the studio asked if my sons wanted to try out for them the answer was a resounding NO! They did not want to be anywhere near those mean moms.
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 4:34 pm.
I’m a reality T.V. junky. I have seen, and belong to, chat groups for every one of these shows with the exception of Girls. I watched the first two epi’s and could NOT relate. My college age daughter however, says she can’t get enough.
Oddly enough, I told her the same thing that you mentioned; they aren’t out making their way, they are just lying back and taking what life throws at them. I assured her this is nothing to be admired and I won’t be supporting her while she “finds herself” once college is over. LOL
On the reality TV shows; when I watch them I chat with 20 or so other snarky viewer/friends, highlarity ensues. We bet who will cry first, who will have temper tantrums, who will back stab…etc. We have our own FB reality TV language and post on each other walls daily.
BTW, this is one of the first seasons I quit The Bachelor(ette). Imilllllllly,(as we refer to her) is the most borrrrrrring, snoozapaloozah contestant yet. There were a few skeevy guys that grossed us out suitably, but they’re gone now…just like me and a few others.
Yes, I know I have a problem. I can’t turn away from these train wrecks of humanity.
BTW, Did you hear Melissa and Joe are supposedly just days away from bankruptcy now too? ;p
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 1:50 pm.
Thanks for that timely update on New Jersey, Nitty. One simply cannot have that much marble in one’s house and be anywhere near solvent.
I’m hanging with Bachelorette, just so I have a bottom to compare other bachelorettes to. I wish one just bust out and admit she doesn’t like them, she’s going to play games, she’s going to stick it to them – something!
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 4:22 pm.
I can’t watch them. I’ve tried. I watched one season of The Jersey Shore, one season of Housewives of Beverly Hills, and that was it. I watched, open-mouthed in shock, and then called it a day when the season ended.
Who acts like this??? Do they do it for the money? Do they do it for the fame? Do they really live like this all the time?
Say it isn’t so.
My friends are like your friends. That’s probably why I’m friends with you!
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 3:24 pm.
Exactly Claudia. We are boring and proud!
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 4:23 pm.
See, I knew I liked you! I watch those shows, too – also except for Dance Moms. When they showed the teacher screaming at the little girls in the commercials, I couldn’t bring myself to look… even though my October heroine is a dance instructor! Not even in the name of research can I bring myself to watch an adult make children cry.
But ooooohhhhhh… the others are fascinating! Disturbing but fascinating. And no, my friends and I don’t behave like that at all. But we enjoy talking about the Real Housewives while we enjoy a nice margarita!
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 5:04 pm.
I watched 1/2 an episode of girls. Wanted to like it but it seemed really self-indulgent. Then I learned about th creator.
As for the Housewives set, a friend witnessed a mom/ daughter at a NY spa recently and the 15yo daughter yelled at the mother for only booking her the 50 minute massage. While bad behavior existed long before reality TV, reality TV glorifies it and makes it seem acceptable to the weak minded
Posted on June 11, 2012 at 10:23 pm.
If I had been that mom I would have absolutely agreed with her daughter, a 50 minute massage wouldn’t have been adequate; so I would have given that massage to the next person in line and then turned around and walked out. Our 14 y.o.g-son has been acting out lately and making empty threats if he doesn’t get his way. That tact has gotten his phone turned off for three weeks, the new swim suit he got for a school function returned, and the his friends sent home for an indeterminate amount of time. We printed out a set of house rules and gave them to all the friends so there can be no misunderstanding when we say something. The lack of rough-housing and dropping of the f-bomb has been wonderful. When we are ready to take kids home they go on our schedule or the offer is off the table and they make other arrangements to get home, I am so enjoying the enforcement of the rules.
Posted on June 12, 2012 at 2:26 am.