I have been complaining to friends and on Facebook that I am finishing a book that has some capital P problems. I am running out of time and I see how much I have to do to fix it, and I have other, family obligations, and I am really really cranky this weekend.
It’s not the book that’s making me cranky, it’s the small stuff. The stuff my mom always told me not to sweat. No luck. These things have gotten under my skin this weekend. Let me vent. I think I’ll feel better :
1. Shorts with snaps. I have these great shorts that fit my butt well. The only problem with these shorts is that instead of a button, they close with a snap. That means every time I laugh,it pops. Sneeze, pop Squat down, pop. I had to go to Home Depot, and as I was walking down the aisle picking things up, my shorts were popping all all over the place, then I’d have to snap them, then they started popping again. So. Annoyed.
2. Texting while driving. So I merge onto the highway and have to stop hard because doofus in front of me is puttering in the lane while he texts, in some tiny little tin can, no less. Why are people so daft? Do they not fear for their lives? Annoying.
3. Bougainvillia. I love these flowers, and I have tried to have them around my house for several summers, but the blooms always fall off and they don’t grow new ones. I follow the instructions, I’ve even talked to the garden center guy, but forget it. My bougainvillias are very annoying. I may kick one later.
4. Crickets. When I was a very little girl, a cricket jumped on me and scared the bejeezus out of me. To this day, I cannot stand them, and we are having a cricket invasion. I am skimming a little black sea of them off my pool every day. Gross! And in today’s paper, they had the helpful tip: It you are going to eat crickets, boil them. They turn red like lobsters. WHO DOES THAT? Super super annoying.
5. Glasses. I never wore glasses until the last year. I finally figured out that my headaches were from squinting all the time. So I finally gave in, admitted to myself that I am getting older, and got some glasses. Okay, bifocals. But I never wear them because I can never hit the right right spot and everything is blurry. So I am still squinting, ruining my face and giving myself headaches. A-noy-ying. <
Do you ever get cranky for a stretch? What small stuff annoys you? Are you like my mother and don’t allow the small stuff to bother you? Do you have snaps on any article of clothing? Do you text when you drive? What’s the bug you hate the most? Say it’s crickets!