Suzanne Enoch and I were hanging out last night watching the Olympics and eating huge chunky chocolate chip cookies. Naturally, as couch-cookie-eaters tend to do, we found ourselves asking in which Olympic categories we could compete.
We decided quickly we could never swim because neither of us are very good at getting in or out of the pool. I mean … IS there a ladder? And if there is, would they deduct points if you had to dog paddle to it after your competition?
We don’t know for certain, but we think the judges might dislike that.
So then we discussed becoming synchronized divers, but the ugly issue of plagiarism kept coming up, so we decided we couldn’t chance it.
After that we quickly marked off fencing (Suzie kept wanting to use light sabers), pole vaulting (I’m allergic to bamboo), balance beam (that annoying powder they use makes us both sneeze), and curling (between the two of us, we have three weak ankles).
On and on it went – we’d name a sport, and then have to cross it off the list until … we hit it. The luge. That’s like planking, only you do it while sliding downhill. We could do that. And we’re pretty sure we could do it Olympic-well.
What about you? Could you luge? Pole vault? Balance beam? Sand volleyball? Swim? Fence? Ping pong? Long jump? Hammer throw? Name your poison!