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This actually happened this week. True story.
It was a bright, hot August morning and Claudia’s husband was in the shower. Claudia, already showered, was at the bathroom sink, sweeping on a new blush that she still wasn’t sure she liked. Wasn’t it just a touch too pink? She took a clean blush brush and brushed off some of it. Now it didn’t look like she had any blush on at all. Claudia gave up on the blush portion of her morning ritual and moved on to eye liner. Her husband, who did not wear make-up, would be out of the shower and getting dressed in minutes. Claudia, her hand steady from years of practice, swept on her eyeliner and eyeshadow.
As her husband stepped out of the shower, she said, “You know, we’re so lucky. So many people get divorced and here we are, still married. I’m so thankful, aren’t you?”
Claudia’s husband hung up the towel, something he did because of years of practice and not by any sort of natural inclination. “Yeah,” he murmured.
Claudia, not one to be daunted by a monosyllabic reply, said, “I mean, here we are, happily married after all these years. Of course, I suppose we could still get divorced. There’s nothing to say that can’t happen.”
Squeezing out his toothpaste, Claudia’s husband cast her a sideways glance and said, “Yeah. I could still kick you to the curb.”
Claudia, unscrewing her mascara wand, looked at him in the mirror and said, “If you want to lose a foot.”
Claudia’s husband laughed so hard that he got toothpaste on the faucet. Claudia patted him on the butt as she passed, leaving him to clean it up.
That’s a snapshot of my marriage. We’ve been married 32 years this month. My marriage is playful, teasing, flirtatious, and we’re always looking for a reason to laugh. We like it that way.
What does your ideal marriage look like? Do any novels or movies capture your ideal?
39 Comments on “Scene From a Marriage”
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I happen to have my marriage ideal for the most part. We are friends and parents and talk often and laugh until we are both crying from it. He bears with my emotional outbursts and brings me back to Earth. I let him come home 2 hours after he normally would so he can go to the gym every day. (He’s a hottie! Best shape of his life at 41 years old. It’s not a hardship to let him go.) We play and love and live happily. I was thinking the other ay how grateful I am to have found him. He grunted when I told him so. We don’t alays have heart-to-hearts but I knew that grunt meant, “Yes dear, I am so grateful that you are in my life and make it sunny and beautiful.” It works for us.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 7:56 am.
The gym every day! I’m in awe. I don’t have that kind of discipline. Good for him!
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 8:45 am.
We’ve cried together this week. Daughter’s teacher from two years ago, who DH has known since he was a kid, was killed in a car accident last Friday. We were together for the visitation and the funeral. I saw some extended family members that have chosen to be estranged from us, and well, had a break down. I cried at the funeral for the loss of that relationship, and for the losses of the recent past (this was our second funeral this month, and third for the year). Though we’ve been sad, we’ve been together through it all. The laughter will come back.
I like reading historical romances because of that first blush of love. The excitement of something new and exciting happening to fictional characters. Novels and movies can skip the drudgery of doing dishes and laundry. They can skim over the times when we’re not together. While entertaining, I’ve always put books and movies firmly on the “fiction” side of things.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 8:03 am.
Oh, I know what you mean. I’m so sorry. Funerals are so difficult.
I love romances for the same reason—-that thrill of love, the spark, no kids or light bill or dog poop on the carpet realities yet. Just the thrill.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 8:47 am.
I’m not married. I want to be but it hasn’t happened for me yet, maybe with New Guy. So far we haven’t had any arguments and we have been together about 4 months. Since I am coming off medication for depression, my moods have been all over the place and it has been scary for everyone yet he has been really supportive and also been keeping me from belting people in their mouths (my depression tends to lead more towards anger for the most part) but these things must be done to have a healthy pregnancy without the problems that come from antidepressants. We play, talk and have our own interests as well as do the combined interest thing.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 8:27 am.
How lovely! He sounds like a terrific guy.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 8:47 am.
Oh he is, he holds my hair back when I am puking so it doesn’t wind up in my hair and then wants to kiss me while I have vomit breath but I can forgive him that small insanity.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 10:38 am.
I am somewhat of a newly wed so it’s a bit early for me to answer the first question
My favorite is always the playful couple.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 8:30 am.
You don’t have an image in your head of what you always thought the ideal marriage looked like? Doesn’t it look like yours?
I’ll bet it does!
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 8:49 am.
I never really thought of getting married. Most people ask him how he got me to instead of the other way around. Although playful couples and old couples holding hands have always made me smile and think wow they make it look good
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 9:05 am.
I feel the same way.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 9:54 am.
You two are adorable. Congratulations on 32 years!
IV and I have a pretty good marriage. He thinks everything I do and say is wonderful. He has his own interests so he doesn’t mind me writing all the time. I am not upset when he goes hunting, fishing, snowmobiling and four-wheeling because you couldn’t pay me to do it. Yep, that works.
As for movie marriage, I always thought Ben Stiller’s parents in the Meet the Parents movies (Streisand and Hoffman) looked pretty happy.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 8:50 am.
Thanks, Lori. It’s gone fast. I suppose that happens when you’re having fun.
I love it when they do cute older married couples in movies! Those two were adorable. I’m kind of nervous to see Streep and Jones in their new movie—am I going to like them or feel sorry for them?
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 9:50 am.
Happy Anniversary Claudia! Congratulation on 32 years.
DH and I have our 32nd in December. Our marriage is often adversarial – we are both competitive and like to win. A game of cribbage can turn nasty. But the love is deep and strong and has carried us through many bad times. Divorce would mean one of us would weaken and be a loser so the expression from Galaxy Quest “never give up, never surrender” kind of sums up my marriage.
If you have ever watched The West Wing our marriage is much like Jed and Abbey Bartlet’s. The girls always crack up when we watch the show because it is so much like home.
I like fiesty romance novels where the H&H are both intelligent and strong. The setting can be historical or present day but please give me smart, witty dialogue.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 8:52 am.
Loved the West Wing and I can picture your marriage very easily now. For all that you say it’s almost adversarial, the love shines through in your description.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 9:15 am.
Oh, I am so with you on that! Love the smart, witty dialogue between two equally strong characters. It lifts my spirits!
Congrats on your 32nd!!!
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 9:52 am.
I don’t really know how to answer that as My Guy and I just kinda work. Don’t know why. We laugh together a lot, we know what each other’s buttons are, and work NOT to push them. We don’t agree on everything, but we agree on enough.
We both need “me” time. We both read, though I do it more than him…but I read while he watches sports so I guess it evens out. We both like to hike, though he understands if I see a snake I’m going to go all girlie on him. He likes to run, I praise him on his effots and his success in keeping his body all strong and uber manly…what you thought I’d get up at 5 in the freaking morning to run with him? Pesky doesn’t run unless there is something coming after her, and even then she only runs faster than the person the thing can get to first. My guy respects that in me, especially since he knows he can run faster.
I guess if I wanted a marriage it would be like this. Comfortable with a few suprises along the way.
And congratulations on your Anniversary!
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 9:12 am.
Thanks, Pesky. It sounds like you two are wonderfully paired. Congrats!
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 9:53 am.
Haha I say the same to my hubby about his bike riding tours
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 10:05 am.
Happy anniversary, Claudia!
I’m not married, exactly. CR and I have been living together for seven years, and he’s the best man ever. He has such droll, dry English humor, and he’s smarter than anyone I’ve ever met, a whiz with business, and we love going to the gym, the mountains, and dancing at the Harlequin party. He makes me laugh and believes in me. That’s a lot.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 9:42 am.
Oh, yeah. That’s everything. Congrats, Barbara!
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 9:53 am.
Giggly–that’s what my ideal looks like. I love to laugh with my dh! And I hope when we are old and frail, we are one of those couples that holds hands and giggles.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 10:37 am.
You’d better not be implying that I am at the old and frail stage, Ms. Marlowe. Watch your back, if you are.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 11:40 am.
I’m not implying any such thing! And I never would–you know where I live!
No, I was thinking of the older couples you see, walking slow, holding hands, just being happy together. Or the fun ones on youtube, like the ones playing the piano in the foyer–just…content. That sounds lovely. But I want giggles too.
My own grandparents were just like the grandparents on the Waltons, always joking around, pretending to rip up at each other, but underneath was a deep love and respect.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 1:08 pm.
Oh, that’s lovely! I can just see them. I always thought the Walton grandparents had a nicer relationship than the parents–Libby always seemed so tense.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 2:46 pm.
My mom and I used to call those couples “Hon and Dearie”. So sweet
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 5:49 pm.
That actually sounds very like my own marriage. We’ve only been married 6 years (and have been together for 10), though. I hope we’re still making each other laugh and having fun 21 years from now!
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 11:37 am.
How fun! I love hearing about happy marriages.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 11:40 am.
I love hearing about couples that keep their love and their marriage strong. You hear so much these days about people just giving up, and that makes me sad.
Hubby and I are both stubborn and competitive people, so we argue from time to time, but we have so much laughter in our marriage, that it’s hard to stay mad for long. We make time for each other, even when things get hectic. Which I think is very important, especially having 2 young kids. We have been together for 15 years and married for 12, and I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 12:12 pm.
That’s how it hits me too. I feel sad with every divorce, happy with every marriage that lasts.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 2:47 pm.
I’ve been married forever it seems. By that I mean that the years prior to marrying are getting sort of dim as they recede, and life with my husband is what I remember. We are very good friends, with similar values and gripes. He keeps me laughing, and I like to think I do that for him (in a good way mostly
He is the only person I am willing to travel with, since he normally wants to do the same things that I want but does not demand his way. He respects me as an equal, and does the laundry (His big contribution to housework.)
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 1:29 pm.
Mine cooks! I’ll starve without him.
Not. Kidding.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm.
I love your ideal of a marriage, Claudia — love, laughter, and support. You guys are awesome.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 5:26 pm.
Thanks, Suzie.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 7:05 pm.
My partner and I have been together for 32 years and we might get married one of these days, maybe. He picks on me for reading romance and collecting the ones with hot guys on the covers but he drives me to the bookstore and carries my books (he also drove my sister and me to Orlando for the RT booksigning when it was there a few years ago). And he does the cooking! He helps me take care of my parents and, in fact, if he hadn’t done so, I would probably have had to quit my job. He helps everybody at the senior community where they live and people ask for him by name, especially when they have a problem with their computer or TV or telephone. He’s also Greek American so sometimes we argue very loudly but just as his fuse may be short sometimes, the explosion also doesn’t last very long. When I first saw him at the hospital where we met, I thought he was the cutest young guy I’d seen in a while. Neither of us is as young or slender as we were then but somehow we’re still hanging out together.
Happy anniversary to all of us who are doing 32 years this year (I, of course, am not really that old so maybe that’s a typo)!
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 7:51 pm.
What a doll! Isn’t it shocking how fast the years pass? I can’t believe it.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 10:35 pm.
Congratulations on 32 years.
My parents had 35 1/2 years before my mom passed.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 10:24 pm.
Oh, no! That’s so soon. Hardly any time at all, at least from my perspective.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 10:37 pm.
I like a marriage with a sense of humor. When I go off on a trip, I’m always saying, “Okay, you can call the floozies in now,” and he always says, “I’ll get right on that.” We both know he wouldn’t even know how to FIND a floozie. He’s not the floozie type of guy. Plus, there’s the little issue of an autistic adult son hanging around all the time. *G* But it’s our little joke.
We’ve been married 28 years, and it feels like 10. Or 50. Depends on the day.
Posted on August 16, 2012 at 10:42 pm.