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For the past couple of months, I’ve been getting boyfriends. Well, they’re trying, anyway. On Facebook. About two a week. The messages are all basically the same. In broken English, they say, “Hello, beautiful. I see your profile online, and you are like sunshine. I am looking for a lady to share with my life, and you are that lady. I await for you to contact me for meeting.”
Now. While I have nothing against online dating services, I am not on Facebook to find a man. I am especially not on Facebook to be a green card wife for some guy who wants to get into the country. Nor am I inclined to be interested in anyone who comes at me with a couple of lines like that and thinks I could possibly take them seriously. I mean, come on. If they read my profile, then they know I’m a writer. At least use spell check if you want to marry me.
Admittedly I’ve written about stranger meets than that: in my latest book, Rules to Catch a 
Devilish Duke, which comes out tomorrow, the hero, Adam Baswich, fishes the heroine, Sophia White, out of an icy river when a bridge collapses. He’s angry, because with the bridge out the parade of potential brides he’s arranged to see can’t arrive. She’s amused, because after the past few weeks she’s had, after the life she’s had, getting dumped into a river just kind of makes sense.
While Adam at first thinks that he can pull a Facebook man stunt and basically pick a bride out of a hat, he swiftly discovers that women are much more complex and interesting than he’d previously thought. 
And just because he thinks something is a good, handy way to conduct a courtship, that doesn’t mean Sophia or any other self-respecting female would go along with it.
Have you been getting date requests from strange men on Facebook? What’s the worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard? The best line? And are you going to buy Rules to Catch a Devilish Duke tomorrow?
57 Comments on “Do You Want Some Wine with that Cheese?”
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I did get them for a bit but the worst ones were on OkCupid which is where I met New Guy. I approached New Guy on the site and we just started chatting, 6 months later and we are still talking. Heck, we have yet to have an argument which is fine by me since I have issues with conflict. I will be getting your book and I had one of your books from your backlist arrive in a bundle of books I got off eBay in the mail today.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 5:06 am.
I’m glad you found New Guy out there, Kelly! Which book did you find on eBay?
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:04 pm.
It was Something Sinful, Suzanne
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 5:45 pm.
2 dudes tried to connect with me via Skype recently. Really? Do I have green card written all over me?
Worst pick up line: my sister at a gas station, attendant sails to her “it’s been 1 year since I have made sex.”
Buying RCDD? Of course, first thing tomorrow am!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 7:26 am.
Skype? That’s crazy. And I can only hope that guy still hasn’t made sex. *g*
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:05 pm.
Haha! That pick up line made me laugh out loud. Too funny.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 9:34 pm.
I used to get strange requests from men on FB but I think they all started to bother you now. Bwa-ha-ha-ha.
Wow, it’s been so long since I heard a pick up line my mind is more foggy than usual.
IV came up and asked me if I was ?? a girl from high school, then it turned out I worked with his mom, etc, etc. Later, when I saw a photo of this girl, I realized “pick up line!” So I guess that was a good one. I used to get asked all the time if I knew I looked like Wonder Woman (Linda Carter). That was always a bad pick up line, especially after the first 10 times.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 7:26 am.
So I have YOU to thank, Lori. *g*
That’s the best pick up line, isn’t it, when you don’t realize it is one? IV is smooth!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:08 pm.
I WANT THIS BOOK. I WILL HAVE THIS BOOK. I WILL GET UP AT 8 (A.M.!) AND GET THIS BOOK. SQUEEEE! I can’t wait!
And yes, I get those same messages on FB, although most of them don’t have the grammar skills that your letter indicates, so sadly, it appears that my phishermen are less educated.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 7:59 am.
Yay! Thanks, Karen! I cleaned the letter up a little, for the sake of understandability. *g*
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:09 pm.
Lately I have been getting the old “I have money and will give you some of it if only you give me your banking information so I have somewhere safe…” Really???
Since I have been married 32 years I have long ago forgotten any pickup lines. We met in Calculus class – there must be some cheesy line in there somewhere.
RCDD is on the list of “Very Important Things to DO” for tomorrow…it is the only thing on the list!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 8:13 am.
I like your list, kez!!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:10 pm.
I was looking for a job on line. One of the requirements to some weird site I got to was “a good comand of the english”. I kid you not. If you want me to speak and write “the english” perfectly, spell and grammar check your ads. It has been so long since someone has tried to pick me up, I doubt I could spot a line anymore. The last time it happened several years ago, I had to have DH explain it to me, because I couldn’t figure it out. Guess he knows I’m not on the internet pursuing inappropriate relationships!
Yes, I’ll be getting your book. I like stories where H/H meet in extenuating circumstances.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 8:16 am.
You made me snort, Amanda. I love that DH had to explain that someone tried to pick you up. *g*
I hope you like RtCaDD!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:13 pm.
I have never looked for a date on line, nor have I been propostioned either… Mmmmm I wonder what that is…
Congrats on your new book coming out and when I am in the book store this week, you can bet I will be searching out this book or maybe I willl download it on my kindle…
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 9:55 am.
You are lucky, Kathleen! They’re so lame they aren’t even flattering.
Good luck on the book search! *g*
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:14 pm.
I’m doing a happy dance that fortunately nobody can see! Why? I have never had inappropriate requests (by strangers anyways!) Oh, and I can’t wait for your new book too!
Seriously, its been a long time since I’ve heard a pick up line. I worked with a guy who used to always say, “Kelly, I love you,” in his broken English. That was his attempt at a green card also. Wait, now that I think of it, he wanted me to move south of the border with him. Hmmm. Sorry, I guess I don’t have any real good, or bad, pick-up lines. Looking forward to tomorrow. Best of luck to you!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 10:37 am.
Thanks, Kelly! LOL on the reverse green card. I think he really did like you!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:17 pm.
I’m getting those FB things, too, Suzanne! The one that really cracked me up was the guy who said, “I am American. I live in city called Florida.”
Huh. Who knew Florida was a city?
Can’t wait to get my copy of RCDD!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 10:45 am.
Yeah, I got one that said, “I am soldier to America.” I guess we should be happy they’re so obvious. Sigh.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:18 pm.
Yes, I am!! I can’t wait, Suzie. Congrats on another gorgeous cover!
I get a lot of those FB things and I delete them so fast I can’t even remember what they said. It’s all a blur.
Bad pick-up lines? If only I could remember. It’s been WAY too long since any man tried to pick me up. Hmm. Must fix that “problem” somehow.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 10:51 am.
You could always stage a romantic dinner and get Big D to carry you to bed … You would have been picked up recently then. *g*
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 11:14 am.
I can just see him being rushed to surgery for a broken back.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 1:26 pm.
Thanks, Claudia!
Please, don’t feel slighted. It’s not flattering. *g*
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:20 pm.
I will DEFINITELY be getting this book tomorrow!!! Can’t wait!!!
As for pick up lines, the only (bad) one that I can think of is the one when I was 18. He actually said to me, “I’ve seen prettier women, but you have a great personality!!”. Why, SURE, I’ll go out with you!! Now that I know that I’m not up to your standards in the looks department, let’s see if you can make me feel like Crap about the rest of my features!!!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 11:11 am.
Thanks, ldf!
That’s got to be one of the worst lines ever. Evidently he was looking for a girl with no self confidence — which doesn’t speak well for him, either. Heh.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:23 pm.
Of COURSE I am, Suzie
.
I guess your FB rejections have wandered over to my page. Some of them actually post in their native tongue, giving my intelligence and linguistic skills far more credit than I deserve
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 11:40 am.
So sorry, Julia. Really. *g*
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:26 pm.
i haven’t received any FB “requests” but then my picture is when I was about 5 years old holding a cat.
I picked up pizza once with my son (he was probably 6 or 7 at the time) and some guy asked if I was married. When I said yes his reply was “happily?” Seriously! Of course when we got home he had to run and tell his dad what happened. My hubby just laughed and told my son it was because his mommy was pretty. Awwwww
Tomorrow is a great day for books. Yours is one of them
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 11:50 am.
That’s a great story, Pamiam! Love it. And thanks!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:27 pm.
The hub and I have been married for over 20 years so I probably wouldn’t spot a pick up line. He’d likely have more luck trying to go the cave man route and clubbing me then trying to cart me off.
I haven’t been getting stuff on FB per se, but I have been getting e-mails claiming that they ‘have been dying to get together with me,’ yada yada yada. I just click ‘spam’ and get rid of it. I really wish that the people that use their obviously considerable intelligence for this crap would use if for something constructive instead. Imagine how great the world would be….
Can’t wait to read your new book!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 11:56 am.
Exactly, Julie. Well said.
And thank you!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm.
I used to get weird messages on fb, but now I use more privacy settings and don’t use my real name.
”
The funniest pick-up line I’ve gotten on fb was “We have the same last name. If you marry me you won’t have to change yours” lol. My reply was “Eww people would think I married my cousin
I used to hate it when guys would hit on me and when I said I have a bf woud say I don’t see a ring… ugh!
I like waiting for a series to finish before I read it. Wish I did that with Kathryn Caskie because she seems to have disappeared :-/
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 1:01 pm.
May I join your eww? I can’t use many privacy settings, because that would block my readers. So I just have to put up with the occasional guy from that old Saturday Night Live wild and crazy guy skit. *g*
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 3:30 pm.
I also think there is the option of reporting them if they are a pest
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 4:02 pm.
Kathryn Caskie’s web site says she has a completed book called “A Sin in White” that will come out sometime in 2013.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 3:32 pm.
That’s so weird because I can’t see that anywhere on her site.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 4:05 pm.
http://kathryncaskie.com/books/white.php
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 6:27 pm.
I still can’t see 2013 lol
Posted on September 25, 2012 at 2:41 am.
My friend got asked out last night with this one, “Here’s my number. Call me some time. Don’t worry, I just want to get to know you. I wouldn’t want to have sex with you.” UHH?? What exactly do you say to that??
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 1:52 pm.
Hm, jen. Methink he doth protest too much. *g*
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 3:31 pm.
I met my beloved while yet in high school, but some guys think the ring is an invite. Years ago, I was sitting with some friends when some schmuck leaned across our table and said, “I look at you and see my babies in your eyes.” I stood up, revealing my 8 mos prego belly and replied, “Good thing. There’s no room anywhere else.” He took off like I’d set his britches afire. *G* And, yes, I’ll be buying the new book. That’s a given.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 2:28 pm.
Haha
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 2:34 pm.
Bwaa haa haa! Perfect response, Gwyn.
And thanks!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 3:32 pm.
And I see my fist in your eye. Oh, by the way, the diamond is very sharp and will probably cut you deeply.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 3:34 pm.
I love the premise of your new book, Suzie! (Love when hero’s simple man-plan turns out not to be so simple.) Can’t wait to read it. I haven’t been proposed to on FB, but I used to get some interesting propositions from guys in jail when I used to have a PO Box listed in my books. Yes, fan letters were nice to have, but I don’t miss those that came from incarcerated men. Interesting, never got a fan letter from a woman in prison…
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm.
Oh, I get those too, Christie. And crazily enough, none of them did the thing that got them thrown into the slammer.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 3:33 pm.
Surprisingly, letters from white-collar criminals in federal prisons are quite literate and usually respectful. Better pool of criminals, I expect. Still, these can be disconcerting, since they all get a rubber stamp from the warden that prisoner mail is not censored.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 3:37 pm.
Oh, these weren’t embezzlers, Susan. I think prisons carry romance novels because they have a positive outlook. And then they encourage the inmates to write to the authors as an exercise. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. *g*
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 5:22 pm.
Hmm, I can’t say that I’ve had anyone try that on fb because of my privacy settings.
As for pick up lines, they always seem to involve comments about my red hair. I don’t really remember them because as soon as my hair color’s mentioned, my brain shuts down and says no, thank you almost immediately.
I’m looking forward to RCDD being downloaded to my phone.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 4:03 pm.
It’s funny how red hair works like a beacon on some men, isn’t it, Janae?
And I’m looking forward to you downloading RCDD, too! *g*
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 5:24 pm.
Yeah, it really is. There’s a guy that works at the Torrance Farmers Market that I try to avoid for that very reason.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 6:02 pm.
The worse are the emails that found there way into your inbox. I am so interested in you, I am in exile and looking for love. I am not on any dot com matches and find these to be off. Maybe if I sent $40 I could also gain a check that I won in a lottery I never entered for a cool hundred grand. Maybe I am a little old fashion, meet me, talk to me, let me see what you are all about. Worst line? I think God is crying (why) Because He lost one of his angels (excuse vomit rising in my throat) Best one? Have to set the scene – Coming from a Halloween Party at 2 am to enter Dennys (yes in my costume- an adult Goldilocks w/teddy bear pin- and slightly tipsy) to have a guy a full foot taller asking about whether I found just right yet?
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 5:54 pm.
I have recently been getting “eeuuwww” pick ups more directly. The come right to my email box. “Hi hon,”they start. This is odd spam. My guess is if I answer, eventually someone in Romania will be asking me to launder money.
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 9:07 pm.
No, I don’t get odd requests like that on FB. It’s plain to anyone looking at my page that I’m married with kids.
The worst pick up line? Hmmm… “Hey baby, wanna make out?” … haha! No. He was stunned that I refused.
The best line? “Hi. My name is…”
Yes!!! I’m definitely going to buy it!! I can’t wait!
Posted on September 24, 2012 at 9:32 pm.
I don’t visit Facebook very often, good thing it seems. I am creeped out very easily.
RULES TO CATCH A DEVILISH DUKE is more my cup of tea.
Posted on September 25, 2012 at 3:53 am.
No date requests on Facebook. I don’t have a picture posted.
No wine, please, I don’t drink. I’ll have grapes with my cheese (Cheddar or Colby).
Posted on September 25, 2012 at 4:54 pm.