
There was no wine there, but this is pretty.
When I was a child, you were expected to make it to dinner every night as much as possible. Sometimes, my father worked late, but mostly he was there. We had a table that was small by today’s standards, white with a gold pattern in leaves around the edge, and avocado metal legs to go with the avocado stove and fridge. We ate in the kitchen, all six of us, passing around hamburger pie and tacos and drinking Kool-Aid. Never milk, which was expensive and reserved for breakfast. My parents drank RC cola. Every so often, when my dad worked for the 7-Up bottling company, he brought home a case of NeHi flavors, cherry and grape and root beer, and us kids got to splurge.
There were four children, and we had our assigned seats so we wouldn’t fight. Everybody except me wanted to sit by my dad (he and I had a tense relationship when I was a teen and I didn’t want to attract undue attention. Often, I was on restriction because that was just the hard-headed way I rolled as a teen, and if that was true, I really didn’t want to sit with him.) I sat on my mother’s left, with my sister Merry, the left-hander, next to me. Then my dad, my brother, my sister Cathy across from me.
We were expected to talk nicely during dinner. No fighting. No squabbling or whining, though we did it sometimes anyway, of course. Even if you were in big trouble at school or at work, it wasn’t something we talked about at dinner. We were supposed to share our day, and if that was lagging, my father would boom out, “So what was the highlight of your day, Barb?” and we had to share something good.
It was corny, I thought, filled to brimming with teen ennui. But I did it. And it usually did raise the mood.
After dinner, if you were the one in trouble, you had to stay behind while my mother cleared the plates. They’d bring out ashtrays and light L&M menthol 100s and you would have to stay for A Conversation. Ugh.
But guess what I did when my children were born? Established family dinner. We had a very small, but lovely dining room in the Victorian house where they grew up, with double hung windows curtained in lace, and a sturdy wooden table I inherited from somewhere. It could be expanded to seat 12, but that only happened on Sunday mornings when my ex cooked his famous biscuits and gravy and we had people over to feast.
My kids complained, too, about the ritual of dinner, the need to be nice, the dreary ordinariness of family dinner with all of us sitting in our places, winter and summer.
It is ritual that keeps families strong. Rituals that make us feel comforted and part of something bigger. One of the most touching things that happened when my ex and I finally decided to live apart was that my youngest still wanted us to sit down for dinner, he and I. We lit candles and played music to cover up the quietness of just the two of us, and sometimes ate out more often, but now, he and his wife and his new baby girl come over for dinner with Christopher Robin and I, and we sit around the table and talk about cheerful things. Afterward, we clear away the plates and set up a board game.
Obviously, I believe in family dinners, but there are many ways to create rituals in a busy world. Does your family gather around the table for supper or breakfast? Do you have other regular rituals you enjoy together?
I live alone, so it’s mostly a meal off a tray table or at my computer desk. When I’m at the girls, we might eat at the dinner table with no particular seating arrangement or at the coffee table in front of the television. Even at the holidays there’s nothing formal because it’s just the four of us including a four y/o. The only ritual we have is opening presents before breakfast except for the coffee we MUST have.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 2:15 am.
Gathering together to eat is a ritual, in my opinion. And certainly coffee is a big ritual in my house, too. My boys were not allowed to badger me until the coffee was poured.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:14 am.
Living on my own for quite a while I didn’t have any rituals and after having New Guy move in with me, we are still working out rituals but when it comes to Christmas day presents are not opened until after breakfast which happens after church. That particular ritual has been in effect for the past decade and is likely to remain in effect for many more decades.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 5:17 am.
That’s a nice ritual, Kelly, waiting until after church.
It does seem like it takes awhile to decide what the rituals will be in a new situation. I never had breakfast rituals before now, but CR and I have breakfast together every morning.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:15 am.
Barbara, once we were living with 6 people in our house (and often with 10, when my uncle and his family came over for a prolonged visit from Germany): grandparents, parents and us two children.
We always sat together at the table for breakfast. My dad wasn’t always there, because he had to work (he was a railway man) but everyone else was present around the time we had to get ready for school. We could not leave without a healthy breakfast, and took our time for it.
Also for lunch and dinner there were set times, which nobody missed. We always cleaned up before we sat down to eat, and we had the lovely food my grandmother prepared and drank either water (kids) or light beer (grown ups). On Sundays there was wine.
Now there are only two of us left, my sister and I, but we still keep to eating together. Even when I don’t have to work anymore, I get up the same time she does and we have breakfast together. I have my lunch on my own, as my sister eats hers at work, but we share dinner – and we still sit down to the place at the table we had as kids.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 7:05 am.
What a rich family life you describe, Nickie! I love imagining all those relatives gathering for every meal.
And what a beautiful throughline in your life that you still practice the ritual with your sister.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:16 am.
The meal we have together the most is lunch. We only have dinner together is if we go out to eat, because mostly we eat in front of the tv. That’s our ritual, though, we watch A LOT of television together. Every night, my mom, my brother and I — it’s just us here — get together to watch tv and talk through out shows and spend some time together! It’s the best thing, really. Some people would not think it’s quality time, but we talk and discuss and argue so much. You’d have to see it.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 7:20 am.
B, definitely talking about shared television shows counts as family time. You are all together, you are enjoying each other’s company, and you share what you care about. Perfect ritual.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:17 am.
Family dinner is important. It’s where you make the bonds that make you a family. We were not allowed to take phone calls, fight or “make that face” at one another during dinner. We heard the news of the extended family at these times and were forced to interact with one another in a “civilized” manner.
Sunday was family dinner at my grandmother’s house, where we sat 26 usually. Either outdoors on the picnic tables or on two tables put together in my grandmother’s living room.
When she passed we stopped having family dinner night. I miss it.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 7:42 am.
There are a lot of studies that show family dinner is a powerful connector. Considering the schedules of modern life, it’s sometimes hard to work out, so sometimes we find new ways of creating that connection. CR always exaggerates how much I believe in family dinner, though.
Maybe since your grandmother is gone, a new generation member could recreate it. Sometimes, that’s what it takes, somebody saying this is what we’ll do.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:20 am.
We did not have many family dinners when I was a kid. Usually it was just me and my mom since I was an only child and my dad, a photographer for the local newspaper, often worked second or third shift. But my mom and I sat at the table. I’m sure we talked. I don’t rememeber it.
When my boys were little we tried to have family dinner if IV was home, but being in construction, the same second and third shift rules applied. We did try to institute Sunday family dinner, and that worked out fairly well. We still try to do it if everyone’s home. The boys seem to enjoy it now.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 8:45 am.
Sunday family dinners are a great tradition.
My father often worked those 2nd & 3rd shifts, and my mother would wait for him and they would eat together. The four of us still sat together and ate, though it was generally a bit less civilized.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:21 am.
When I was growing up we had family dinner every night. Sometimes Dad was working, but my mom still made my sister and I sit down for dinner. After my sister moved out, we still had to have family dinner even though I was 16. I remember asking if I could take my dinner into the family room to watch tv, and my dad said a firm ‘NO.’ He followed it up with ‘if you want to eat, then you eat with us.’ It was something that had to be endured, but now that I look back on it, I am glad that we had that time as a family.
Now, my husband, two girls and I always sit down for family dinner. Even if my husband is away on business, my girls and I sit and have a meal together. We always talk about the day, about what thery are learning in school, things like that. Sometimes there is arguing, but with a 3 year old and an 8 year old I kind of expect that, but I give them one warning, if they get a second one, then they don’t get fruit after dinner.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 9:22 am.
It does seem as if we grow up with family dinner, we move on with it when we create families of our own. Even when I moved 50 miles north of my family, I found myself recreating the family dinner with friends.
Love it that you have fruit as a reward! And yes, two little ones will squabble. They just do.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:23 am.
Unfortunately, family dinners have died with me. DH and I were both raised in families where we were expected to sit down and eat, and follow the rules that you have listed above. But somewhere, along the way, we’ve lost that in our own little family. We eat in front of the TV, but dang it, we do it together!
Despite our non-family-meal ways, we are still tight. By bed time, everyone knows how everyone’s day went, and that works for us. I think it is the little things, too. Today, I have a busy day lined up, which inclues laminating placemats for Son’s class pen pals at the nursing home. That means I’ll be seen at school. Yesterday, I worked in the lunch room (private school, so it was a volunteer thing), where I got to see both my kids during lunch time, talk to teachers, and generally catch up on school gossip. Taking those things into account, while we’ve lost something with the whole dinner thing, I’ve made up for it with other things. I think that families have to find what works out best for them, and for some reason, dinner together on a regular basis just doesn’t work for us.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 9:41 am.
Not having family dinner certainly doesn’t mean a family doesn’t work! Perish the thought! Many other rituals work, too, just as you’ve discovered.
I did not spend nearly as much time at school as many of my friends & siblings did–I was working a lot–so you are way ahead of me there. I think we all work out ways to create bonds.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:26 am.
When I was a kid we did have family dinners. We would all sit at the same spot every night. The lefty always got the end, and still does. When we get together for family dinners now it is almost always how we used to sit when we were kids. With me living hundreds of miles away that hardly ever happens though.
Now a days my beloved is usually on the road all week, leaving me to eat dinner alone. So instead of eating alone I bring along a book and enjoy every minute of it! As a matter of fact my meal time is at least a half an hour long!
On a side note my mother has now become a fan of yours! I lent her one of your books, now she can’t get enough!
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 9:42 am.
A book is a very good companion! One of the things I learned post-divorce, was that I loved cooking for myself and then eating a beautiful meal with a book as my companion. I have lots of great memories of those meals!
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:27 am.
We had one that all the nieces and nephews think is so corny. I grew up on a ranch, third of four kids. WE had dinned together every night, and Sunday dinners at my grandmother’s house. I have such vivid memories of those dinners.
Here is the ritual we had until I was a teen. We sang a blessing. Singing that blessing is one of my earliest memories. All six of us sang it before we ate:
(you have to imagine singing it):
Father we thank thee for the night
And for the early morning light
For rest and food and loving care
And all the makes the world so fair
Isn’t that lovely? I sang it to grand kids the other day and joy of joys, they wanted me to sing it again and tried to sing along.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 9:45 am.
That’s so beautiful, Julia! I don’t think it’s corny at all, and I LOVE that your grandkids were so enchanted. I’m going to have to go find the tune. (I’m surprised I don’t recognize it, considering how many years I spent at church camp.)
Lovely!
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:30 am.
I know, that’s why I said a hundred times that you have to SING it, because saying it doesn’t have the same punch. Sounds like one of those old English hymns
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 5:55 pm.
You’ve really made me think this morning. I definitely come from a family where we had Family Dinner. There were 5 of us and we all had our places at the table. Dad at the head, mom next to him, me at the other end (I am the oldest) then my 2 sisters across from mom. We would talk unless dad bellowed “SILENCE” because he wanted to hear the news. Lots of times, dad was out traveling for work so it was just us girls. Many evenings, we would have extra kids at the table as a friend or 3 seemed to be having dinner over. We LOVED that.
Now that I have my own family, we do sit down together but now looking at it, we hardly speak a word while we are eating. I think I may need to change that. That really does make us sound awful doesn’t it? The only time I can think of that we do alot of talking is if my munchkin has a friend eating over. Go figure!
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 10:44 am.
Not awful, just maybe you have all been tired and don’t think about starting conversations. An easy thing to address, though. Talking about everybody’s favorite stuff.
I’m thinking about this a lot, because my son & daughter-in-law are at the stage of establishing rituals in their family.
Laughing at the bellowing dad. Mine did that, but he would yell, Enough! usually when my brother had succeeded in creating a fight between my sisters and I.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:33 am.
My mom was big on cooking dinner and I remember sitting around the table, causing trouble with my brother and being pretty obnoxious kids. But then mom would plunk the plates down and there would be something delicious there and we would behave (a little) better. I miss her and those dinners.
I am staying with Geezer at the moment, so I make dinner almost every night and we eat together. I am sure things will change when the move happens, but I plan to schedule a night or two a week to continue it in some way.
There are not many other rituals I can think of. We are down to a tiny family and my brother can’t make it here too often. I still decorate for Christmas and try to plan a wee little Thanksgiving dinner, but that is for me, mostly.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:01 am.
It is challenging when families shrink, Sheridan. It used to make my grandmother melancholy at the holidays, especially. It’s nice that you plan to continue to have meals with your father, and that you keep up with traditions for yourself.
We can create family groups with friends, too, of course. I’ve done that at times, too. Many of us do in the modern world.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:35 am.
I love the urban family I had in LA… time to build a new one soon
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 12:21 pm.
I have two teens (boy and girl). My rules have always been eating together (as my grandmother told me, you need to break bread at least with the ones you love). We play a “game” of high low – what was your high of the day, your low. It gives them a chance to express things that they experience or think about. I think it will be these things that when my children look back, they will appreciate. From card night (it’s great that even when they were not getting along, they would gain up to beat me in cards – Uno can get vicious) to movie night. I am one of those parents that never went anywhere without my children, mall, grocery store – they never had a babysitter, so activities as a group were always (still are) very important. I have kept a lot of traditions that I grew up with, from cookie making to spring and fall cleaning to storytelling to going to Church. I tell my family I love them, through continuing the traditions and honoring them to creating new ones that let them know I am here and always will be. Remember, it’s the quality of the time that you give to another hat makes all the difference in the world.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:12 am.
The love in your post shines through loud and clear, Carla. I’m sure your children will be grateful, always, for the memories you are creating.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:36 am.
Family dinners were always a part of my daily life as a child. No exceptions. And I enjoyed them! We ate in the dining room, each in our spot, and talked about the day, about pleasant things, about things that were important to each of us. My sister and I would clear the table and do the dishes, trading off as to who loaded the dishwasher and who had to wash the pots and pans. There was never anything punishment related to eating dinner as a family. I think that’s why I liked it so much.
As a parent, guess what I did? Family dinners, every night, in the dining room, of course! My kids loved it. Because fabrics got ‘easier’ I used cloth napkins and votive candles and classical music playing, and we’d all talk about our day, about pleasant things, about important things.
When they moved out it turned into Sunday dinners together. All at the same table, in our same places, sharing the same laughs over the same silly things. I look at them, at these adults, and can see their younger selves in those chairs. It’s touching and a bit melancholy.
Time flies. Cherish the little things, moments shared, memories made.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:24 am.
It is true that time flies, Claudia. Your descriptions are lovely, and kind.
We traded off dish duty, too.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:38 am.
I am a big believer in family dinners, probably because when I grew up it was a lot like you describe at your house. We had to have a really good reason to miss dinner. I sat next to my dad because I was the youngest and he could encourage me to behave. We sort of lined up by age at the table. We rarely had family breakfasts. Dad left too early, and my mom taught us to get or own before school. That was another tradition I held on to. No mom cooked breakfasts
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:33 am.
My mother never cooked a breakfast, either. Not sure she ever does now, either!
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 2:27 pm.
Family dinners always at my parents house… it did get a bit boring after my 2 older sisters left and it was just me they focused on… A few years later, after I graduated from college and moved back home with my mom [dad had passed away while I was in college]… we’d fix a meal.. But the funny thing was, we’d always save some sort of piece of info or day’s story for ‘dinner converstation!! and We’d laugh about ‘saving it for dinner’…
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:49 am.
CR does that, Cate, saves stories for dinner. Sometimes when we are eating out, he’ll start to tell me something, then stop himself.
It can be a lot of pressure to be the last one at home, but also a bittersweet time for parents.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 2:28 pm.
I am an only child. When I started school my mom returned to work and both parents worked second shift so I ate at my friend’s house. Elaine’s parents had four kids and we all ate in the dining room. Later Elaine’s oldest sister would walk me home, put me to bed, and stay with me until one of my parents came home. After my parents changed jobs, we always ate together. When I got married and we had kids were always ate our dinner together. There were no other options and no one complained. We only had two sons so maybe that is why.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 11:51 am.
You are so lucky that you had someone in your life like Elaine’s family! That’s really a sweet story. Blessings to them for being so generous.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 2:29 pm.
When I was young we had family dinners. My mom was very particular about table manners… we had to watch a table etiquette instructional video at one point. We had to wait until everyone was seated before we picked up our utensils or ate anything, chew with our mouths closed, don’t put our elbows on the table, and we had to ask to be excused from he table at the end of the meal. Then, of course, we had to help clean up the dishes afterward.
My mom and dad divorced when I was two years old, so it was just my mom doing her best to teach us the rules. Then, as my brother and I grew older and my mom remarried (when I was 11), we had a tough time teaching my step-dad and new brothers how to behave properly. They were rather boorish… chewing with their mouths open, holding their utensils in a big fist, flinging food across the table, and talking with their mouths full. I think that after a while my mom got fed up with it all, and we ended up only having family dinners on the weekend. My step-dad, coming from a traditional Catholic Ukrainian family, was of the belief that the women did all the cooking and cleaning, so it was the topic of many arguments that my mom and I had to do everything, and the guys could go back to their TV and video games after the meal was finished.
Needless to say, family dinners disappeared in my family and it became a ‘you make it, you clean it’ sort of deal.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 12:11 pm.
LOL on the instructional table manners video! My dad was pretty hard core, but he didn’t go that far. The family table is the way to learn manners, however. It’s a handicap not to know those things.
Yeah, it sounds like there was a lot of tension. Not worth it to continue under those circumstances.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 2:31 pm.
We did the family dinner a lot, but sometimes it was hard since the dh taught college classes a couple of nights a week and then sports got in the way too. So that ritual was spotty, but when the kids were little we started instituting heating up the hot tub after dinner and blissing out in the hot water. Lots of conversation and fun.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 1:02 pm.
The hot tub is a great place to gather–a nice Southern Cal tradition!
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 2:32 pm.
oooh, yes! Family dinner was big when I was little. We always sat at the same table–and had a rule: She/He who cooks, does not clean. Needless to say, we all learned to cook early. As we grew, things got busy and the dinner thing kind of fell toward the wayside. However, Sunday dinner (or lunch) was sacred. Church in the morning and lunch on Sunday. It still holds true when we all visit now. Sunday lunch is spent at Mom’s table. If someone needs to leave early, then we have brunch.
The other ritual (also around food) is having Sunday coffee at my Grandma’s house. My Dad was insistent about this growing up–the entire extended family does it. After he died, we made a double point to continue it when any of the family is “home” for a weekend. So, we get well fed on Sundays: coffee at Gram’s, lunch at Mom’s.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 1:22 pm.
Love that, coffee at Grandma’s house! My grandmother used to buy donuts and bring them to our house, and I found myself doing that after church with my children, but then the pounds were unkind and I stopped.
Love that you all learned to cook early.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 2:33 pm.
Most nights it’s just me and the kids, but we always sit down at the table together for dinner. This summer when my dh was working on finishing Hotel T, there were a couple of times that we drove to his work to pick him up to take him out to dinner. That was a lot more fun to have him around at dinner because it’s new conversation that I haven’t heard.
I grew up having family dinners every night. Once my mom flipped the table upside down to teach us that there needs to be order in our house to help things run more smoothly – especially important when there are 7 children. Although, at the time I think that there were just the 5 of us. I was in cheerleading at the time, came home late, and I had to eat dinner on the upside down table, while she talked to me about what she told my siblings. It’s stuck with me.
I’m a strong believer in family dinners. I know that my kids tell me more than some of what their friends tell their parents. I think it’s because we have family dinners. We, also, make Sundays family only days – no errands, no playdates, no shopping. Mostly, it’s a very quiet, mellow day at home. Occasionally, we have to go to a friends and family screening for his work. Once this year when my dh had to work a screening at a theater, had worked the 6 previous days, so we talked about it. He got us into the screening, and we spent the day in a movie theater. It was surreal to spend 6 hours in a movie theater, but the kids loved it (especially the free movie theater food).
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 2:26 pm.
I bet your kids will remember that day in the movie theater forever, Janae!
What a smart lesson from your mother, flipping the table upside down. I can just picture her exasperation.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 2:35 pm.
We’re big on family dinners around here. With three kids under five, though, they can get a little rambunctious. We try to light candles and play music and we encourage the kids to get past the ants-in-their-pants moments by having a little dance break. So at any given time, someone will jump up and boogie around the table. Then they’ll sit back down and eat like normal humans. Well, almost normal.
I love that they’re still at the age where being together is fun.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 2:55 pm.
Oh, I love the dance breaks! And what herculean effort to make it work with three children under five, with candles and music. Gold stars!
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 4:16 pm.
We had those family dinners too, Barbara! And our assigned seating, though if somebody had band practice or work or a date, everybody else got to move one seat over. *g*
We still have family dinner night on Saturdays, and pull out a movie or a board game afterward. I love it.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 3:00 pm.
I sometimes think we had very similar childhoods.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 4:17 pm.
We actually have a few. For Christmas Eve, we all go to my in-law’s house and open gifts from the extended family. Then we return home. Last year, we had the joy of seeing our granddaughter’s first Christmas. Of course, she was only 4 months old, so she didn’t get it at all, but she loved the lights on the Christmas tree. THIS year, however she will be a year older, so it will be so much fun–I can’t wait to see how my little munchkin girl reacts to the pretty lights and wonderful music of the Season! Before going to bed on Christmas Eve, we all sit together by the tree and go around and each say what we are most thankful for this year. It never fails to humble us all, especially knowing that we have goodies under the tree.
Then, Christmas Day, the first person awake, wakes up everyone else. We sing Happy Birthday to Jesus, then open our presents. We usually have a quiet dinner at home, but once my daughter and her family get a place of their own, I’m hoping they will be coming to my house for lunch on Christmas, so we can begin new traditions.
I know you and CR will have lots of fun with your own little munchkin girl this year.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm.
As I read your post, I was feeling that thrill, Julie. We are so excited for her first Christmas! She’s little, only will be 10 months then, but I be she’ll be delighted and thrilled. First Christmas Eve service, first Santa visit, first tearing packages moment.
Your girl will be much more aware. Have a blast!
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 4:19 pm.
Our seats weren’t officially assigned but we seemed to always sit in the same place, still do as a matter of fact. When we were growing up it was just mom, dad, my younger brother and I. When I was 17 our older brother found us through our grandparents and about a year later my oldest sister came back as well. I am so grateful she did because she is my very best friend on the planet.
When dh & I were together we had as many meals as possible together. Dinner was at the table, usually with the national news on or 60 Minutes on Sunday. We talked about our day, what happened at work & school & discussed what was going on in the world. DH was one of the smartest, politically aware people I have ever met. Our sons have inherited that trait, their grades reflected knowing what was beyond our front door. Our boys were constantly surprising their teachers by knowing about current events. When they were asked how they knew, the answer was, “I saw it on the news.”
My son feeds his daughters first and then the adults eat, the girls all have to remain at the table until they are all finished. If one has more than they can finish they offer it to one of the others and then to a grown up, they do not waste food at their house.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 5:21 pm.
How touching that your sister and brother returned!
I love that your DH taught politics to your children that way. It’s a big deal, to learn from a parent what matters.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 10:41 pm.
Growing up with 3 brothers and 3 sisters, we pretty much ate at the kitchen table. Afterwards, my sister and I did the dishes (no dishwasher in our home) and helped with general clean up, and also with the cooking. We very seldom went out to eat, and occassionally my parents would splurge, pick up hamburgers from McDonalds, and bring home for family. One ritual we had was after school we would watch some tv while doing homework, then help with dinner. Now, I’m divorced, my son is grown and it’s just me, so I have no routine per se, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 5:30 pm.
Agreed, Ginger. It can sometimes be nice to escape the routines & rituals, too.
I like the post-school television time. We used to do that, too. Unwind and watch Dark Shadows or cartoons or whatever.
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 10:42 pm.
My parents had foster kids and exchange students, and as there were only so many chairs at our dinner table, we didn’t eat together. I think I ate in my bedroom from age 11 – moving out of the house.
However, when I had kiddos, we had dinner together. We had a lot of fun, even while cleaning up afterward.
Now, my daughter lives in NYC, and my son lives in Knoxville, TN, so I miss those days. But I do relish the holidays for those shared meals. I love those!!!
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 6:41 pm.
I didn’t know that about your parents & the foster kids and exchange students. Cool.
It’s hard when they grow up!
Posted on November 13, 2012 at 10:43 pm.