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The thing about families is that you are around them so much that you get used to them. They are normal to you. Every now and then something happens that makes you really think about your family objectively, however, and you realize that maybe the rest of the world won’t find them so normal.
This happened at Thanksgiving. My son arranged his work schedule so that we could go to VA to share the holiday with my extended family. Thanksgiving meals there have been known to have 30 people at the table. My siblings, nieces, nephews, their spouses and kids, plus various add ons gather around.
DS really wanted to go, and he intended to bring his fiance. He partly wanted to show her off. He partly, I suspect, wanted some equal time for all the days he has spent with her family, which is based up here and is local.
DS decided to drive down Wednesday night, but I prefer to drive down Thanksgiving day when the highway traffic is not bumper to bumper. And so it was decided that we would follow him down the next morning, until my husband privately raised the matter with me again that night.
“I think we should drive down on Wednesday too,” he said.
When I rejeted the idea, he tried again. “I don’t think it is appropriate for her to meet your family without you being there.”
What a silly man. Appropriate? This was my son and my family, not an etiquette convention. Besides, my son and fiance would drive into the night, arrive and go to bed, and we would be there before they woke up, most likely.
DH tried again. “I do not think it is really fair to expect her to meet your family without you there to run interference.”
Fair? Interference?
Even as I opened my mouth to object, images floated into my head. Some were from holidays past. Others were fantasies in which my son’s fiance played a role. In all of them I saw my family in all of its overwhelming, distinctive, no standing on ceremony glory. We are a group of people who are “out there” in terms of personalities. We are opinionated, loud, often funny, and pretty blunt. Honest questions of curiosity can easily come across as the third degree. Even the quiet ones are no shrinking violets.
I love every minute in that chaotic milieu, but even I admit it could be a bit much for someone coming in from the outside. Since my husband had been just such a someone, he probably knew that far better than I ever would.
In the end I won but only because I was sure we would be there in time for the holiday dinner, so we drove down on Thursday. But at that dinner, as the din rose and fell, every now and then I would step outside of myself and my years of experience that made it all so normal, and wonder what my son’s fiance was thinking as she learned just what normal meant in our family.
Then again, since she had already met me, maybe she found things pretty much as she expected.
Do you have relatives who are unusual or colorful or “characters” ?
Do you have any holiday rules about things that can’t be talked about when the family gets together? (We have two subjects that are forbidden, since they managed to almost destroy past dinners.)
Do you have in laws? Would the day you met them make a good movie?
59 Comments on “Meeting the In Laws”
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Well since I’m not married yet (and not for a lack of hint dropping to New Guy) I technically don’t have in laws but I do consider New Guy’s mum to be an in law. I do have a brother in law and he is a gem.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:33 am.
New guy will get the hint soon, I bet. It is great that you like his mother—or at least feel like she is family (which is not always the same thing
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:13 am.
Lets just say that after 20 years in the family, I still need wine to be able to celebrate the holidays with my in laws. They take passive aggressive to a whole new level. My family tends to be more direct which is probably equally horrific to my husband who has been taught to never speak of anything of importance.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:43 am.
There have been some really funny movie scenes where a person from a direct family meets the family of his or her sig other. Woodie Allen had one in one of his movies that was hilarious. The strained silences were eloquent.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:15 am.
My DH and I have have know each others immediate families since we were 14. However, when he first met my extended NY family he was quite overwhelmed. His sweet New England self couldn’t keep up with the NY shouting match that is conversation. He’s much better suited to my New England half of the family, that did indeed give him the 3rd degree, but is much quieter about it.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 8:07 am.
I had not really appreciated the sheer noise level at our holiday dinners until this year. Of course we shout. How else will anyone hear us?
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:16 am.
My family is full of kooky characters, especially on my father’s side.
The politics and religion rule are in force at all holiday functions.
I do have in laws. The day I met them would have made a good movie. My MIL nearly broke my nose hugging me. I wasn’t expecting a hug, didn’t see it coming. Bam. This happened for years. She’s Italian. Much hugging is expected.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 8:30 am.
well, see, we are Italian too, so of course my son’s fiance was really in for it. The hugging, however, has dropped off with the current generation. My mother was a big hugger, needless to say. But I can see your movie really well in my head.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:18 am.
I’m an only child who married a guy with six siblings. Everything was overwhelming. The rule was if the boys brought a girl home for dinner she had to sit next the their father. That was so he could make sure that she ate. I only had to do that twice. Even after we got married, you could still see me standing in the corner watching everyone. It was too terrifying to be in the middle of the chaos. Now his parents and two siblings are dead and three sibs are in other states.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 8:33 am.
I guess big families just make for overwhelming, no matter what the background. I think it is a riot that you had to sit next to his Dad so your food intake could be monitored. Do you thnk that the concern was that if he was not there to defend your share, none would be left with you in that crowd?
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:20 am.
Actually, I don’t think that. I think he thought the girlfriends would be so overwhelmed by the number of people, that we would be scared to eat much. When Denny started dating his future wife, we all went to my aunt’s for pizza. My husband had Shelby sit between him and our son. He asked Shelby how many pieces of pizza she had had. She said two. He said wrong, you had one. She didn’t know the family story. She had a second piece.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:52 am.
Oh, I completely understand where you’re coming from here. While I adore my family…..they are a group of characters, and can be completely overwhelming to some unsuspecting new in-laws (or potential in-laws).
At mom’s side of the family, we never have less than 30 people at a holiday. On a big year, like this Christmas–we’ll have closer to 60-70 people. There’s no topic that’s off the table. There’s no one that can fly under the proverbial radar. At Thanksgiving we had around 45 for lunch….my cousin tried to slip in his girlfriend (silly man). As we were going through the line, my grandma got a good look at her, pointed and said “You don’t look like one of mine…..you’re not, right? Who do you belong to?”. Poor kids, it was open season after that.
If I thought we could actually put “topics which will not be discussed” in to place–I’d totally do it–but that would just make them the centerpoint of the conversation (sigh).
They are mine, and I love them. However, I understand why others may not.
Have a great day!
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 9:23 am.
Trust me, the topics not to be discussed were only set up after they had been discussed and almost led to blows. In our case it is nothing broad like “politics” (although in the current climate, going there is a huge mistake at any large gathering and I did shut down one of my sisters this year when she began to.) We have two very narrow, specific subjects that we learned from experience are hot buttons.
It does sound like you know exactly what I mean, and I agree totally with your last line!
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:23 am.
To say that our two families are very different and don’t mix is an understatement. Both families were together for our rehearsal dinner and that is the ONLY time in 32 years. Both sides have their personality quirks. Enough said.
The first time I met my in-laws my F-I-L let me know that he had picked out another woman for this son and I was not welcome in the house or family. Having me be an intelligent, self-confident young woman in his old-school military world did not make for smooth sailing. He has since passed away and it can still be hard to be in that house. This would not make for a good movie!
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 9:24 am.
My husband’s parents and mine only met once pre-wedding, then at the wedding. They lived in different cities, so that relieved them of ever having to socialize. They were very different like yours, and this was probably all for the best.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:25 am.
My sister’s in-laws are kinda…well…pills. Specifically her FIL, her MIL is very sweet. While our mother was alive we held back opinions, stayed quiet and generally weren’t ourselves for the sake of our nephews and family peace.
We now have a system where we are polite, but we just enjoy ourselves. We figure The Bombshell and my BIL have been married now 25 years. They’re not throwing her out of the family.
We don’t talk politics because there are just people you know you can’t discuss it with. I think of it in European terms where you can discuss and debate and at the end of the day have a beer together. I accept this is not the case with my Sisters In-Laws. Other than that, discuss away.
Colorful family members…well…to be honest. I’M IT! Now hold back your suprise, but on the death of my OMA I took the crowne.
Now I’m not quite as colorful as her, I can manage to drive without the axioms of “Why should I always be the one to stop” and “We’ll merge out way in here somehow.” or terrorizing my DIL’s (as I don’t have any) but…I’m it. I’m ok with that.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 9:38 am.
Holding it in for the sake of peace can be hard, and takes the fun out of things. It is great that you don’t feel the need to anymore!
I don’t think I am one of the major characters in my family at least not anymore. I may have been when I was a lot younger.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:28 am.
Oh btw, the first time my dad brought my mom to meet my OMA, it was their second date (she was the one for him) he lay down on the couch for a nap and my Oma turned to my mother and said.
“Zo, vat kinda name is (insert last name here) here now?” and proceeded with an inquisition that would have made the spanish proud.
On Mom’s annoucing her water had broke with me, my grandmother insisted that she make lunch for my Opa and Dad who were working on the roof, and not aware that mom’s water had broken (well you know, she didn’t want to make a fuss), then proceeded to drive her to the hospital, via “the scenic route”. The scenic route wasn’t paved…
Yep…there are tons of Oma stories…
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 9:42 am.
OMA sounds like a gem, and a real character.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:29 am.
We don’t really have any kooky characters in the family. Grandma says what she thinks now, and sometimes that’s not a good thing, but she is 87, so we let it slide.
The first Thanksgiving my hubby(boyfriend at the time) spent with my family, he was shocked to find that after dinner we were going to sit down and play cards for money. He ended up taking $80 off of my Grandma, and I know that he felt uncomfortable with it, but Grandma didn’t mind, it’s always her idea to play, and in her words ‘if you play, you pay.’
The first Christmas I spent with my in-laws, I had to bite my tongue on several occassions. My hubby’s(then boyfriend)aunt kept calling me by his ex-girlfriends name. I think she was doing it on purpose because I corrected her each time, but next time she addressed me it was again by the wrong name. I tried to let it roll off my back, but it did upset me.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 9:47 am.
That aunt sounds like a trouble maker. Of course, one of my nephews made something of a scene at my wedding because he was upset I was not marrying my old boyfriend instead of my current one. Not a public scene, but I knew what was going on– mostly because he came out and complained to me.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:33 am.
My I laws are few , and English/Scottish, so we don’t see them very often.
My own family isnnuuty,myes. Intense, political, supreme smart, sharp tongued. It really can be tiring, but I love them.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 9:52 am.
In really big families, there is some protection from the tiring part. There is a kind of top tier engagement and a second tier. When the top tier saps my energy, I retreat down to the second tier and let chaos reign around me. We have a couple of members who are the types who are black hole that absorb others’ energy, so exhaustion is always a danger.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:37 am.
Your family sounds exactly like my family–loud, opinionated, and definitely blunt. ALL of my family are “characters,” and I love them for it. My husband, not so much.
My husband is introverted, uncomfortable in crowds, laid back, and also opinionated (but polite). My family drives him nuts.
*I* think my family is fun and wonderful. He finds them overwhelming. So yes, holidays are . . . stressful. But I still always have fun. I’ve just had to find coping mechanisms through the years (plenty of “away” time for Hubby, quiet place for autistic son to chill, not too many events crammed into a short period of time). My husband says my family is always “going and doing, going and doing.” He doesn’t really like that. So I try not to do all of the “going and doing” with him.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:44 am.
It is possible that my family drives my husband nuts too—- and he has just never told me
He knows I am sort of protective of them.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 11:28 am.
Aren’t we all protective of our families?
Sadly, Hubby’s parents died before we met, so our family situation is pretty one-sided. His only half-brother is also dead (though his ex-wife still keeps in touch), and the niece and nephews live far distant.
Posted on December 5, 2012 at 5:36 pm.
Both families have kind of fallen apart. My side, because my dad passed 6 years go. Grandma passed a year ago in October. So, for a family who had a total of 5 members for years and years, suddenly losing 2 of the cornerstones did the card playing in. Now my kids are old enough to start teaching the card traditions, but my brother has babies now. They like to chew on the cards instead of playing with them. So, I see the traditions changing.
DH’s side of the family fell apart, too. A couple of his sibs are toxic. I’m not talking about the kind of family that every is writing about–where you argue religion as a sport, call it a day, and have a beer. I’m talking about the kind of toxic that those sibs don’t want you to succeed in your own life, and then are jealous of your success. Throw in that FIL has an emotional IQ that is just above toddler lever, then you have fuel for some blazing hot melt downs.
So, Christmas this year is going to be the four of us. Son suggested jambalaya for Christmas dinner, and I’m down with that. I’ve already started laying the ground work for when the kids grow up. I told DH that we, as grandparents (hopefully, one day when the time is right) would travel to see our grandkids, and not make our kids travel with kids. I also told my kids that I would love whomever they choose. And, that we would make room for these new people in our family. I don’t ever want my kids’ spouses to go through what I did.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:47 am.
I think that families go through transitions and find new traditions when the hubs are gone. It sounds like that is what you are doing. It is generous of you to already decide you will do the traveling. With air travel these days in particular, taking young kids is dicey when you might end up in an airport for hours on end due to a problem. With your attitude I think you are going to make a really cool mother in law some day.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 11:33 am.
Both the hub’s family and mine is odd.
His family is VERY outspoken and big. Not just big meaning a lot of people, but they are BIG people. When there are get-togethers, I swear there is enough food for a small army, and darned if it doesn’t all get eaten…if not at lunch, then later that day.
My family is odd, but in a different way. My dad had three kids from his first marriage and then his first wife died. My mom had two kids from her first marriage and her first hubby died. Then they had a bit of a fling in their mid-forties and I was a surprise.
I was conceived in December (when my mom didn’t think she could have any more children) and they got married in March. I was their little doll, and my sisters and my brother thought it was a blast to tote me all over town. 
My mom’s other two daughters are more, shall we say, formal. They love to chat and things, but they don’t really play games or anything like that, just visit and play with all of the wee ones. My dad’s kids, on the other hand, well they’re a rowdy bunch, to say the least. At those get-togethers, there is much shouting, much cursing, and some cheating. 
We play a card game called Golf, a dice game called Farkle, 42 in dominoes, washers/horseshoes, etc. I love it. 
My daughter says I’m a chameleon because I can mesh with all of them and get along pretty well no matter what.
We do have the same forbidden subject…NO politics. Most of us agree politically, but there is at least one at every gathering that does not, and it just upsets people, so it’s just not discussed. We argue and debate all the time, but usually about college sports rivalries, and it’s ALWAYS fun.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 10:59 am.
A lot of you have a tradition of games after dinner. It sounds like fun, although I have never heard of the ones you mention. I am wondering if I can slide board games into our traditions when we stay up here for holidays.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 11:42 am.
My family has always been rather small with the biggest get-together I can think of was with my cousins – there were maybe 12 of us. We definitely have some characters – in addition to myself (which I am rather tame in comparison) my brother by far takes all the cake AND ice cream in the character department. He’s a train wreck, but a very funny one. My father’s mother was also a character with all sorts of interesting stories and many tales of the circus, which she adored.
When I was married, my in-laws were nice, but a bit more serious and holiday meals were filled with low-fat/low-calorie versions of things and a lot of talk about work.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 11:39 am.
Although I do have a recipe for low calorie low fat pumpkin pie, which is actually very good, the idea of a whole holiday meal of such things sort of depresses me. Like I would keep thinking about how much better life used to be, LOL.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 11:44 am.
Yeah.. and then to talk about low-cal/low-fat everything and diets and how they ate too much.. sucked the life right out of the best day to overindulge of the year.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 12:12 pm.
We have a boisterous and funny group in our family. Lots of laughter. But there are two family events that are clear demarcations in our history. We need only say, “Remember Mamma’s funeral?” and a shudder runs through us all. Let me just say this: blizzard. Mad dog 20.20. A poker game gone terribly, terribly wrong.
But for the most part, we have a great time. We are fun to be around. I don’t know how intimidating it is for people coming in, but it doesn’t seem so much to me. I need your husband to come and assess, Madeline!
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 11:54 am.
For those of us from families like that, it NEVER seems like so much. So what’s the complaining, right?
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:42 pm.
When the dh and I were still bf/gf, his parents came for a visit (they were Navy and living out of the country). The first thing my mil-to-be said to me was, “Oh, looks like you don’t own an iron either.” (In reference to her son.)
Hmm. I remember being mortified because I’d taken special pains with my appearance. Come to find out, she’s the kind of person who irons the sheets (and not just the pillowcases, like my mom used to do), but still! I actually get along with her fine now, but I’ll never forget how hot my face got in that moment.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 12:10 pm.
Bless her heart for noticing. As I recall, my first meeting(s) with my mother-in-law were not ideal either. It got better later.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:43 pm.
My family is loud and boisterous. They like to put people on the spot. My aunts and uncles also still think that we ‘kids’ are still children and try to order us around. I may still be in my late twenties, but I am married with children of my own, and am by no means a child. Over the past couple of years our family gatherings fell apart as it was increasingly difficult for all of us to agree on a date and time that we were available… once we all had our own families and in-laws, we had to divide our time, and travelling with young children isn’t easy.
We used to have family rules, yes. There is one uncle that has been ‘exiled’ from the family.. no one was to bring him up lest they wished to create a family feud… and despite the game title, it was not funny. Also, no competitive games. If we played cards, it was for pennies and everyone gave them back at the end. We tried playing baseball and other games at one time, but they ended up in large fights.
My in-laws are the opposite of my family. They have their drama, but they aren’t as loud or as close. My first meeting of my in-laws wasn’t a big deal. My husband and I were in highschool still, and we were just friends, so I went over to his place to play video games and was invited up for dinner. It was laid back and we returned to playing games after dinner.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 12:31 pm.
I think it is easier to meet the in laws when no one knows yet that they will be in laws. Although it works both ways. I had a boyfriend in high school whose mom treated me like a future daughter-in-law. She just assumed it would go there. Um, noooo.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:46 pm.
Thanks for the smile, doll. I have one of those big, loud, boisterous, opinionated, and mildly (to my thinking) insane families. My poor daughter-by-marriage had a family of four–both parents were onlies so she had them and her brother, no extensions at all–and our son threw her in at the deep end; a family reunion. Granted, it was only Mom’s side (and they are much less over-the-top than Dad’s), but they are a huggy bunch, and DBM grew up with undemonstrative parents. She found them overwhelming, of course, and tried to fade into the woodwork. Now, she’s as huggy as they are and always happy to be included. Still, she and I had a sit-down with the requisite “Watch out for Aunt X; she asks the most outrageous questions” type thing. God willing, your future DBM will find herself as happy being part of your very normal (in my world *g*) family.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 12:51 pm.
I want to think that she took it all in stride. I think that she has figured out not to criticize them to my son at least,so I am pretty sure she at least pretended she did.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:47 pm.
I think the holidays are the worst time to meet inlaws. Especially in our family.. We are Irish and Scotish and when we get into some arguements it can loud and long. My oldest neice has been seeing a young man for awhile now. He has met some of her mother’s family, but he has not yet met our side of the family.. It’s not the rest he has to worry about, it’s me. I am very, very hard on boys that she dates. You would think it would be her father and three Uncle’s she has to worry about. They get the “if you hurt her, they won’t be able to find the body” speach. I say this with a smile on my face, but I mean business. I helped to raise this child and no one, but no one is going to hurt her in any way shape or form. But I know we won’t meet him this Christmas, because he is going home to his family in Germany for Christmas. So I am thinking he dodged a bullet.. LOL
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 1:01 pm.
My son was informed, when he first met his future in law family, by the young men of the clan, that if he hurt her they would shoot him. Being the rural hunting types, he just assumed they had the means to do so.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:49 pm.
I hadn’t thought my family was so colorful until DH came to my house to pick me up for a date which happened to be NewYear’s Eve. We met at college, his home town, 100 miles away. My Mom wouldn’t let me answer the door and she met him eye to eye shaking his hand. DH said this was a first for him, he’s 6’2″ and my Mom was 6′. She proceeds to introduce him to my Great Aunt who has a little dog on her lap that is wearing a sweater, another first. This Aunt is known for her “zingers” and grills him. Then he is introduced to my Great Uncle who lives with us, extended family living under one roof was also a new concept. This Uncle loves Polish jokes, collects them and tells them. He is Polish, DH wasn’t sure he should laugh. My sister who had already met him at college, she went there too, proceeds to give him the low down on every guy I dated, while I was out of the room. My brothers were a mystery to me as one wanted to be his pal and the other was playing shy around a corner. My Mom won’t let us leave for a party until we have all eaten rolls. She swore it would help absorb the alcohol. My Dad is very quiet and DH thought he just didn’t like him. Now just imagine my quiet Dad, farm boy from Nebraska, meeting these same folks plus more in Chicago. I wish there was a movie of it, lol.
Those dinners just got more colorful for my DH. Add Catholic priests (DH wasn’t Catholic), nursing home residents,Polish immigrants, and loud Chicagoians (we were in Nebraska). He laughs now and was very amused then. I guess I was lucky he likes adventure!
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 1:18 pm.
Well, it was better than being bored silly, so he was lucky, is how I see it. How he probably does too!
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:51 pm.
All of my family, immediate and extended can be called “colorful” – they can also be cray cray with a capital c. Most of the time with the immediate family I wonder who switched me in the hospital (but that could be wishful thinking)
There are NO RULES which can explain why by the time for dinner so and so are not talking yet alone looking at each other. This is the time where all past transgressions are aired and gossip is spewed, it is where debates on politics and religion can lead to “stepping outside”- but in the end everyone is full, everyone is happy, everyone promises to do it again (uggh). But there is something to having a family that is very passionate, about food, politics, love, in the end family is family.
I am a bit younger than my other half, when I was formally introduced to his family, I believe it was Thanksgiving. He is one of eight and they just got larger after (with husbands, wives, children – oh, my). Now I currently have a great relationship with most of his family (immediate and extended) – but not then. He has a colorful bunch and upon arrival his brother in law was kinda being insulting, over and over telling him he needed the oysters, I could tell this was not something DH liked and in front of everyone I protected him – saying – I can assure you HE DOES NOT NEED THEM, just how many have you had? The whole family stopped, I held my own, and too many of the in laws that married in laughed.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 1:26 pm.
Don’t you just love a guy who thnks he is funny when he isn’t at all? He probably thought you had not gotten the oysters comment the first time, so he just kept saying it. I have to say that your family makes mine sound like reserved and retiring people
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:55 pm.
My family.. in-laws and all.. would be my Big Fat Greek Wedding… minus the wedding( and being Greek!) every time..we get together!!! we don’t do it very often.. but its the SAME!
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 2:36 pm.
Yeah, mine too, LOL.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:56 pm.
Honestly, I am super jealous of all of you who have outrageous families. I feel like I am in a whole different world from you. My DH’s family is pretty secular. They didn’t like to include outsiders in their holidays. That has changed now that we’ve moved and it requires inviting other “family members” who belong to the inlaws. Once we get some wine in us, I guess we can be more of a rowdy crowd but we’ve definitely mellowed. Its sad actually.
Now my mom’s side of the family (who I hardly ever see as they live in Ohio and I live in Florida), they are a fun bunch. Unfortunately, I couldn’t even tell you the last time we had a holiday together. I think its probably been a good 20 years! Seems like it is weddings and funerals where I see them. Thank goodness for Facebook! I’ve managed to keep up with the vast majority of them via social networking. Wonder if I could make a holiday party via facebook so we can see them??? Hmmm maybe skype….my parents are traveling to us this year but we will not be with my sisters. This year is the “Home” year. We alternate one year we are home and the next we travel to my family. DH’s family for the most part is here but 2 siblings travel to us on the ‘here” years.
Ah to be a fly on the wall at some of your family gatherings. *sigh*
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 3:23 pm.
When my sons were little, we did not go to my family for holidays. My husband’s parents came to us. But now that the boys are grown more often we make the trip, so it has been something of a second wind. Not much has changed, though.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:58 pm.
Every Thanksgiving, Hot Cop goes with me to visit the fam where we eat lots, talk much, and play canasta until someone beats the flinders out of the rest of us. This year, Hot Cop won, so he was in a great mood for the rest of the week. It takes a lot to beat my family at cards because they are more than willing to cheat. As my mother told Hot Cop the first time he played, “If you don’t get caught, it’s not cheating.” It shocked him, but now he laughs every time someone steals a card. I have to wonder now, since he won, if he’s picked up some tricks along the way, too. I’m not sure because he’s not talking.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 3:28 pm.
wow, there are people who still know how to play canasta. My mom used to play that but I never learned. Is it a family thing or a regional one? I think it is a hoot that your family cheats.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 8:00 pm.
I am going through this right now! Blog to follow.
Aren’t all relatives “characters”? Ha.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 7:14 pm.
well, yes, I guess they are. I long ago concluded that I was the only really normal one in the family
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 8:01 pm.
I came to the same conclusion about myself! What are the odds?
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 8:49 pm.
With 6 siblings I’ve LOTS of in-laws. Four siblings are married, and I really only like one in-law. My bil is great! Before he and my sister got married, they celebrated Christmas with us. His bday is the 23rd, and we got him to make his own bday cake. He was such a good sport about it. As for the rest of my in-laws, my other bil is so obnoxious. Nothing is ever his fault. Then, there are my sils – skanky chick and the not so smart one. The things my sil says absolutely, completely dumbfound me. I swear my IQ drops when I spend more than 5 minutes in conversation with her. My brother was hospitalized with viral meningitis recently. The drs would have to talk to our mom, who would then have to really dumb it down, so my sil could understand what was going on. Up until 3 weeks ago, she had no idea that there were different kinds of blood cells.
Then, there’s my dh’s family. His dad is SO weird and passive aggressive. His mom was amazing, but she had early onset Alzheimer’s and passed away in 2001. I tell my dh that I’ve no idea what she saw in his dad. Then, my fil remarried to the narcissistic, control freak, who’s a licensed marriage and family therapist. And then, there’s the drug addict brother, who’s brain is SO fired that he’s a non-functioning member of society. When I first met him, he looked like Charles Manson. Then, there’s my other bil, his wife (she’s my concert buddy; we went to 5 alternative rock concerts this year), and my sil who’s the world’s best babysitter, according our kids. We all went out last month for dinner and ate at the restaurant that’s in my dh’s great-grandfather’s home in LA. We had a blast.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 8:50 pm.
On my dads side we have an unwritten ‘no politics’ talk guideline. There are a couple of tea party people who don’t respect the guidelines. They have definitely ruined gatherings for everyone. I, personally, just don’t invite them.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 11:13 pm.
No out laws for me. And my family can be overwhelming. I’m one of 7 kids, with several spouses for some them, add in a dozen nieces & nephews, from ages 8 – 22, some other friends and yep it can be/get overwhelming. But I can say this, you will not be bored.
Posted on December 4, 2012 at 11:43 pm.