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Diesel the Wonder Dog went to the vet this week. No dog actually likes going to the vet, much like no woman enjoys going to the gynecologist, but Diesel bore it well, was charming and polite and calm (even when they took his temperature you know where). Diesel is practically perfect in every way, as I think I’ve mentioned more than once.
The vet, his hands around D’s mouth to better see his long sharp teeth, could not get over how white and clean his teeth were. In fact, I’m pretty sure he actually said, “My, what big, white teeth you have!” But this is not Little Red Riding Hood, or even Once Upon A Time, so nothing remarkable happened after that. The vet did ask how D’s teeth stayed so white and I said that I gave him rawhide chews.
I lied.
Diesel loves to chase sticks. When he is not chasing sticks, he loves to carry them around, looking very braw and manly. When he is not carrying them around, he lies on the ground and chews the stick to pieces. And when I say stick, I mean log. Diesel gets his ‘sticks’ off of the log pile next to the house.
No, no! Bad dog!
He does it anyway. He likes something hefty to lug around, proving how manly and buff he is. You know how men are.
Anyway, I’ve been so worried that Diesel was damaging his teeth, wearing them down. I mean, teeth, unless you are a beaver, aren’t designed to chew wood. I could see the future so clearly; Diesel, his teeth worn to blackened nubs, like something out of Dickens, eating dog food mush, a shadow of his former, buff self.
How wrong can one woman be? Turns out, chewing huge hunks of wood to splinters is like getting his teeth cleaned.
Stay with me. I’m about to get to the point of the whole thing. I never know what to get Diesel for Christmas. He’d like a toy, but I give him toys throughout the year all the time. I don’t think he’d get the Christmas significance. This year, post vet visit, I think I’m going to escort him to the wood pile and let him pick out the biggest log he can find.
Merry Christmas, Diesel!
What odd gift are you getting for that difficult to shop for person in your life?
55 Comments on “Some Get Coal, Others Get Splinters”
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I am giving Acheron a trip to the vet for shots and will be getting some special kitty treats for a Christmas present. Of course he doesn’t know this but since Biscuit had started her shots last week, I figured that I had better do Acheron’s as well since he sometimes gets beaten up by a couple of the queens in the area. Biscuit didn’t enjoy getting her temperature taken and liked the shot even less but we have gotten her some toys to play with on Christmas day so that’s good.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 7:42 am.
For what it costs to hit the vet and get the shots, that really is a super duper gift!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 10:38 am.
New Guy and I need to get something for Acheron to help with his gas because he let rip with a couple of stinkers and it’s enough to curl your nose hair.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 10:44 am.
ROFL I know what those are like. Diesel after eating a cold squirrel carcass—worse than pepper spray!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 12:04 pm.
Oh ewww!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 5:31 pm.
Sounds like Pebbles, my cat. She’s small but she’s mighty!!!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:40 pm.
Good for Peebles! Cats are wired to hunt. Might as well take out a pesky squirrel.
Posted on December 13, 2012 at 9:53 am.
Diesel is such a manly man. Good boy.
Reggie does get a rawhide chew or a billy bone every morning and his teeth look shiny and new. I got him two red and green rawhide bones for Christmas. And a stocking. He’s so new he doesn’t have one yet.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 8:28 am.
Oh! Now you’ve given me ideas. I guess it’s not too late to get a stocking and some pretty rawhide for Diesel. He has been such a good boy this year.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 10:39 am.
For two years, I’ve been threatening to make Otto homemade dog biscuits. Now I can feel guilty about not making any Christmas cookies yet, but giving the dog homemade treats….
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 9:09 am.
Homemade dog treats?? That sounds intriguing. Diesel will sometimes eat squirrels. I KNOW he counts that as a dog treat.
I do not. Shudder.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 10:40 am.
He’s a beauty! I love, love, love German shepherds!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 9:34 am.
He’s my darling boy. I’ve never had a more charming, thoughtful companion. (Don’t tell Big D I said that.)
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 10:41 am.
Waffles loves to go to the vet. She says she’s never seen a dog so happy to see her – I guess that’s why she takes extra good care of him. This year he is getting a new bed and a holiday collar and leash.
The other hard gift to find is for my dad. I sent away for the family crest to be embroidered in a frame and it was supposed to be here in October. They tell me it’s still being worked on in Ireland so I don’t even know if it will get here in time.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 10:48 am.
A crest! What a wonderful idea! That’s the terror of ordering online–trusting that it will get to you on time. I hope it works out!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:17 am.
Bailey, my baby lab, loves rocks. She would sit outside and chew on rocks forever if I let her. We don’t have any trees in our backyard, so she doesn’t get many sticks to chew on, but she loves to bring them home from the park. When she was a puppy, the vet recommended I give her carrots to chew on, instead of rawhide, so now she gets a carrot a day.
This Christmas we are traveling, so Bailey will be in the ‘doggie hotel’. I am going to get her some add ons, though. She will get daycare days(entire days spent outside with her friends), as well as a bath and her nails clipped. The last 2 aren’t really for her, they are for us, so that after a week spent at the ‘doggie hotel’ she smells nice and fresh.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:05 am.
If there’s one thing D doesn’t care for (besides getting his ears cleaned once a week) it’s getting his nails clipped. I really like to leave that job to someone used to dealing with twitchy dogs.
It’s so nice that Bailey loves the vet! You sure don’t hear that a lot.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:19 am.
There are places that offer “doggy” massage. What a great gift to give your pal, an hour of pure pampering.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:40 am.
Wow! But I get so much joy from caressing him–lowers both our blood pressure, I’m told.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 12:04 pm.
My dogs hate the vets also. Now, if you mention the groomers name to them they go nuts. They are a little on the prima donna side, so they are all for a day of pampering! Usually for Christmas I make them homemade dog food and biscuits. I should do it all year long, unfortunately I get sidetracked easily.
My father is always the hard to buy for guy. What do you get the man that literally has everything? It gives me a headache. This year he is getting a very nice jacket and a mini engine. Don’t ask. He’s a motorhead that will enjoy the heck out of this “toy” engine. We threw in a couple of other small things and now he is complete! Yay!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:44 am.
I forgot to say that Diesel is beautiful!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:56 am.
He is. He’s got that athletic build, those piercing eyes, those “I’m always listening to you” ears.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 12:05 pm.
Oh my beagle, Petey, hates going to the vet. Not for the stuff they do necessarily, he just HATES being up on that table. He is the most good natured guy when we get there, playing with other dogs, getting on the scale, etc.– until you put him up on that table…then it takes FOUR of us to hold him up there. It’s crazy. Beagles are VERY strong dogs, so it’s an adventure once we get him on the table for shots, etc. I drew the short straw this year and I was covered in Petey hair by the time we were done…
Diesel is absolutely an amazing dog. We used to have a Shepherd/yellow Lab mix. Hazel was the best dog, loving and generous and she would chew a tennis ball to bits, but you better not threaten anything that she considered hers. The hub actually decided he had to marry me after an incident with Hazel. We were wrestling around outside, throwing the ball to Hazel, and I (being the Queen of Grace that I am) tripped and fell over a tree root. In the guise of helping me up, he tickled me and I was screeching and trying to get up. Hazel apparently thought he was doing something he shouldn’t have been doing to me, and growled at him…and she was his dog. He told me that I was officially Hazel’s property now, so there was no getting rid of me.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:51 am.
I really thought it was wise of my vet to not put Diesel on the table—that stresses the dog out, I think. Who was going to haul him up there? He weighs almost 100 pounds.
What a cute Hazel story! I love that. Dogs are so protective. It’s completely endearing.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 12:08 pm.
I’m very pleased that the log toothbrushes are doing such a good job, bit do make sure he doesn’t swallow the wood he chews! I hate to be negative, but I think it might be a good idea to share this habit with the vet, because sometimes it’s an indicator of lack of certain vitamins or minerals. Even if it’s just something he likes to do, the splinters can be harmful.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:54 am.
Mood killer!! ROFL He spits it all out, I promise you. The splinter litter is everywhere; I’m always sweeping like a mad fool. To watch him, it’s clear that he’s “chewing down to the marrow” of the wood. Just doggy instinct. He is a dog that is very mouthy—always chewing something, and when he’s not chewing, he’s sucking on the corner of his special pillow. If he were human, he’d be a smoker. LOL
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 12:10 pm.
I have a log-chewing, sock-devouring, cat poop-eating dog in my house, too, Claudia.
Difficult gift: the stress of it! I have to find something nice that a man or a woman would like for our family’s White Elephant. Geez. Louise. It’s impossible!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 12:12 pm.
White Elephant gifts are the toughest of all!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 4:02 pm.
Sounds to me like Diesel will LOVE that Christmas gift! He also sounds like a charmer.
The most difficult person to buy for would be my husband. He says he doesn’t need anything, and he never gives me a list of things that he ‘wouldn’t mind’ having. My mother-in-law, my mom, and various family members always ask what he’d like, but I never have anything to say to them. My husband is very picky when it comes to his tools and his clothes, so that’s out. He’s still got games and body wash in their packages that he got last year for Christmas, and he doesn’t have any hobbies (apart from fishing, but how do I know what to get him involving fishing?!). So this year, I think I lucked out in my gift for him. I heard that BB King was going to be in town for one night in the coming spring, so I bought him tickets. I know he loves BB King’s music, so I think I’m covered! Phew!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 12:12 pm.
PS. My little Lady (a chihuahua) always freaks out when we get her doggy jerky. She LOVES it. She jumps around very excitedly and plays with her food before she eats it.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 12:14 pm.
My husband is the same way, but so am I. You just get to a certain point and what do you need? This year, we gave each other the gift of a new “Cyber Monday” TV. That’s it. No gifts under the tree. I’ve stuck to it. He’d better!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 4:03 pm.
I think the strangest gifts I have on my list this year are Beef Flavored Pill Pockets as treats for my dad’s dogs. Since we see the dogs so infrequently, I give the treats to the kids to give to the dogs when we get there so the dogs have warm, fuzzy feelings towards the kids. A ticked off Doberman is not a pretty site.
The other odd gift is for my father, who asked for an E string for his guitar. An odd request, I kept asking if it was a lead-in to a joke. And, according to the music store, it’s better to buy strings in sets, so he’s getting a set of strings, not just one, but I never thought I’d be buying guitar strings for Christmas.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 12:16 pm.
Ooooh, I’m tempted by the Beefy Pill Pockets. Diesel would sing raptures, I’m sure!
An E string! What a perfect gift!!!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 4:04 pm.
Go Diesel! My bil is hard to shop for, but I think I may have done it this year. Don’t tell him, but I bought him a 4′ garden crocodile to put out among his beloved tropical plants.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 12:38 pm.
What a great gift!!!! You don’t have to worry that he already has one.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 4:05 pm.
Oh, Diesel is BEAUTIFUL! I love that he chews logs. My former boss’s dog was like that – and would chase giant sticks.
That same former boss was a bit of a nightmare to shop for… so one year, I got him gift cards to all his favorite restaurants (mostly fast food) It was a hit because it was something he’d use. Go figure.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 12:45 pm.
I think gift cards are wonderful—as long as you use them immediately. If I don’t use them in the first couple of weeks after X-mas, I forget I have them. Bad!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 4:05 pm.
My dh is SO hard to shop for because he never gives me a list. Or he buys himself a comic book that he really wants, then decides he wants one with a higher grade, sells it, and tells me the gift doesn’t count. I tell him just because he chooses to sell it, doesn’t mean that I didn’t get him a gift. This year he did ask for something – “Intangibles,” which translate into certain kind of favors Christmas morning before the kids wake up. I know it’d be fun, but at the same time I can see him complaining in 6 months that I didn’t get him anything for Christmas. I might end up getting him clothes.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 1:35 pm.
Okay, we need to work on training your DH. He sounds way too high maintenance. LOL If I give a gift, it had better be remembered! Just sayin’.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 4:07 pm.
The hardest to buy for in my family is one brother until I realized that I could buy him a gift card for Craftsman tools and he was happy as can be. Strangest thing I bought was house cleaning supplies for some one who had just moved before Christmas and didn’t have anything at all for the house. Everyone else was buying neat stuff but he liked my gift because he didn’t have any of the stuff to keep his house like his mom would.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 1:38 pm.
Oh, wow, I would have loved that gift! It’s the things you need but that you don’t normally buy for yourself, or the silly fun things (4 foot alligator) that you would never buy that make the perfect gifts IMHO.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 4:08 pm.
My Hank chews logs from the pile and eats cat poop. Log-chewing is mostly a summertime activity, for some reason. Now that it’s cooler, he spends a lot more time with his toys in his mouth (a lab, it’s all about carrying something around).
Difficult person to buy for this year is Son2. Doesn’t want anything. Doesn’t have any ideas. Doesn’t know what he should give anybody else. The dh did get him and his brother these teeny r/c cars at Brookstone.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 2:16 pm.
I always default to electronic/tech supplies for youngish men. I feel like they always “need” some of that.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 4:09 pm.
You have solved one gift problem. Mr. Darcy loves to chew sticks too!! I had no idea that was why his teeth are sparkly white either. So I guess I’ll give him a big stick with a red bow. I may even let him, just this once, chew it in the house and keep the broom nearby.
My other big gift problem is younger son, who tends to deliver his list the day before Christmas and ask for things like new cars or, one year, livestock. He may just get money.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 2:19 pm.
Beer brewing kit…get the man a beer brewing kit.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 6:52 pm.
Livestock? Livestock! Like, what, pigs and goats? ROFL
I don’t envy you, Madeline. Not one little bit.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 4:10 pm.
Well, a friend of mine and I decided we were going to get together and bake bread loaves for our friends. Zucchini, Banana,Pumpkin. and put them in little celophane bags and deliver them to their houses.
Because we all agree…there is far too much crap in our houses and if it can be consumed, it leaves the house.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 6:51 pm.
Ohhhh…the fur people.
Well Prince Fluffypants is getting a new harness for walking as his current one is giving him kitty cameltoe and a pair of boots….because it amuses me, and being all white, he comes out of his evening walk looking like the black paw of justice and needs a bath.
Young Price Greybeard is getting a little cape because the black paw of justice needs a sidekick…and considering he just climbed up my leg with no assistance a kitty pedicure.
Both of them are getting new fluffy beds as their original ones don’t fit them, and are now used to nurse on.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 8:57 pm.
Love that!! What a great idea!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:11 pm.
Seeing how Sadie May and Po ripped up one of their beds in a massive pet-pillow-fight, they are getting a new bed. They change up who sleeps where, so it won’t belong to either one in particular. Of course, they’ll also both get a few new toys. It’s time to replenish the old pet toy box!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 7:04 pm.
I can just see me buying D a stocking and stuffing it with toys. The urge is strong!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:12 pm.
my dog use to like to chew on fresh wood — down small (or not too small) branches after a storm had come through, pieces of wood as being chopped for the wood pile. it was fun to watch her play & break those bits of branches down
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 8:31 pm.
I’m glad I’m not alone in this! Dogs just love to chew and rip things to shreds. Better sticks than my shoes!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:12 pm.
My brother’s family has a dog that loves to bite the noisemaker out of a stuffed toy. What a mess! but what a happy dog!
As for a hard male to buy a present for, my aunt gave my dad a subscription to National Geographic for over 50 years!
I hope I can do the same for my little brother!
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 8:40 pm.
Oh, yeah, Diesel does this as well. That squeaker lasts for about 3 minutes, then he’s disemboweled the toy and he’s bored with it. No more squealing for mercy?
Yawn.
Posted on December 12, 2012 at 11:13 pm.