The latest release from Karen Hawkins, HOW TO PURSUE A PRINCESS, is both a NYT bestseller and a Publisher's Weekly bestseller!
Sign up for our newsletter by filling out the JOIN OUR NEWSLETTER form in the right column of this page!
It is entirely appropriate that I am blogging on the day the world ends because I’m married to a man who’s been predicting doom and gloom since the day we met. He’s not as bad as those survivalists you see on TV, but he does expect “the end of life as we know it” to come in some form one day, and he even has a plan for it. I’m not sure what the plan is, exactly (I do know it involves making bread from the sun using tinfoil . . . I think), but if the Apocalyptic Dystopian Destruction Thingy ever finds us, he’ll be ready. Sort of. For some of it. Maybe.
Meanwhile, I am the eternal optimist, and I never worry about the world ending. I was raised being told that it would end any day, and I’ve been waiting years for THAT scenario to happen, too. I got skeptical the longer it took. I was the one during Y2K who said, “Bottles of water? For what?” Turned out I was right.
Fortunately, my eternal optimism counters his doomsday predictions so we get on fairly well. I let him collect things for the end, and he lets me use them up when we run out of, say, flour. It works for us.
But I’ve finally decided that I really ought to have a plan of my own for the “end.” So here’s my plan: Find a mall. Go in it. Live there until all the stuff I need is used up or gone. Find another mall. Avoid the zombies.
It’s a simple plan, but I like it.
So what is your plan for Doomsday? Or are you skeptical about the end? If you joined me at the mall, what could you bring to the table? (Hey, I can’t let just anybody in, sheesh!)
52 Comments on “Doomsday Has Arrived–Don Your Tinfoil Hats!”
You can track this conversation through its atom feed.
I saw a zombie this morning not long after I woke up. I may or may not have been standing in front of the mirror at the time I will never tell. Doomsday is almost halfway over here and I haven’t seen hide nor hair of anyone falling dead or being blown up because of an asteroid randomly falling on them. What I can bring to the table is a willingness to blow away anyone I know or even don’t know that has become zombiefied, some skill with firearms and absolutely no compunction about chopping the heads off chickens, gutting them and plucking them to provide a meal.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 4:20 am.
The chicken thing is a seriously useful tool! If my mom is nearby when the end comes, she has that skill, too. Oh, and she can pick cotton! Assuming that the cotton hasn’t all been eaten by zombies. Do they eat cotton?
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 10:35 am.
Fool me once blah blah blah….. Damn,we’re still here. Now I’ve gotta pay those bills, do that work, buy those gift. I was counting on BOOM. Now I’m saddled with obligations. (Shakes fist at Mayans)
I’m down w/ your mall scheme. I know the secrets of store back of house and the mall back of house – which is already like Thunderdome, the folks there have created a subculture all their own.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 7:54 am.
Okay, then you can come to my mall. And we shall eat Hickory Farm sausage and gyros together. *G*
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:13 am.
I love your mall plan… As long as there is plenty of Coke. I’ll bring Johnny Depp and Rob Patinson because we are going to have to slowly and I mean very slowly repopulate the earth. I’m glad you will be there Sabrina because we will need something to read when we are not working on repopulating the earth.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 8:07 am.
Verrry slooowly. I agree. Good idea! Bring them, by all means.
We need to find a mall that has a Barnes and Noble, clearly.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:14 am.
So you saw that mall Zombie movie did you? I thought that was a good plan too.
Like you I was raised with the belief that the world would eventually end but us dummies on earth would not see it coming. Therefore whenever anyone predicts it I just tra-la-la along saying “Revelation people, la, la, la.
Let’s see, what would I bring to the table? Not much. All that tra, la, la=ing has left me ill prepared. However if I brought IV you would be very happy. He is mountain man, he has a plan. He even has a cabin that we are supposed to head to in the north woods, up on a hill, where we can see zombies coming for at least a football field.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 9:15 am.
Okay, you can see them. And then what?
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 9:48 am.
Maybe he has a flame-thrower?
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:24 am.
I probably shouldn’t mention the arsenal in the garage.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 12:09 pm.
Actually, no. The only Zombie-est movies I ever saw were 28 Days Later and The Omega Man. But I’m not surprised to hear that my idea isn’t original. It just makes sense!
Good to know that IV has a plan, too! Lots of planners out there. Maybe it will make up for us non-planners!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:20 am.
28 Days Later freaked me out.
I can’t remember the title of the mall zombie movie but it was supposed to take place in Milwaukee and we spend most of it pointing out the reasons it cannot take place in Milwaukee.
good times.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm.
Sorry, my son and his family will be here later today so I think I will not be joining you at the mall. I’d rather play with the grandchildren and watch my wee dogs play with my granddog. Granddog is a 90 pound airedale. Maybe I can even read for a few minutes tonight.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 9:31 am.
Yes, you can read by the light of the bonfires. *G*
Have fun with your grandchildren and granddog! I’m spending lunch with my son and husband at Nick’s day program, so that should be fun.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:22 am.
I have no Doomsday plan. I don’t even have any stores of food, unless canned tomatoes count as apocalyptic food. I’d be doomed, nyuk nyuk
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 9:47 am.
We’ll share with you. Come to the mall!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:23 am.
No plans for me because I don’t think anyone truly knows when the world will end–no calendars, no clergy, etc. It will end when it’s supposed to and not a second before.
But, when things unfold if we’re still around, I’ll bring my mp3 with all kinds of music and loads of books. Someone needs to make sure there is a generator around so we can cook stuff in my crock pot I’ll bring.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 10:06 am.
Malls have generators, don’t they? I tell you, a mall is the only way to go!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:24 am.
Ya know, I had some cash, canned goods and water on hand for earthquakes and that’s about as much as I prepare. I figure I’m fairly clever and can make do if I need to.
So what would I bring to the table if you let me in the mall? Hrm.
ooh! I am creative AND mechanically inclined so I can think of solutions for problems and figure out ways to make it happen. I am also a complete goofball (as you know) so I can help keep everyone amused and thinking positively.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 10:48 am.
Well, we will definitely need humor. So come join us, my dear!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:25 am.
I’ll bring some decent food, because facing the end after subsisting on mall food for a week or so is too bleak. I trust your mall has a liquor store? At least the current ends of the world do not lure people into building bomb shelters, like in the 60s. One of my uncles did that. My father could not figure out why if humanity was being wiped out, my uncle would want to be the last person left alive in an empty, toxic world.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:35 am.
Ooh, we must have a liquor store. We have a mall here with a wine store. Would that work?
I know, I never got the point of that either!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:41 am.
I’m so with you on the liquor store. And an added bonus, it’s flammable – to ward off zombies.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:52 am.
Happy Friday!!! Yes, I believe the end of the world will take place. Eventually. As it turns out, I’m more of a go with the flow type of person–so no current plan, etc. However, growing up in the middle of the Midwest–I can prepare for one heck of a blizzard–which we’re still digging out from. If the end comes in a white out–I’m totally your girl.
Have you ever watched the show on (I think it’s History or Discovery) where people actually specialize in this type of thing? It’s nuts–but props to them for being resourceful (if not a little obsessive).
As far as what I’d bring to the table….a really great bottle of real Templeton Rye and a tractor (good in a blizzard, and also for running over zombies).
Have a great weekend Ladies!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:46 am.
I haven’t watched it, but Hubby has a few times.
Ooh, a tractor! Great addition!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm.
To be honest, if the world ends, I’d like to go in the first round – completely obliterated. That way I won’t have to deal with the zombies, or come back as a one and try to eat my friends.
But if by some chance I survive and find myself at your mall, I would be sure to bring lots of wine. We’ll need it.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 11:50 am.
Yes, we will definitely need lots and lots of wine. *G*
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 12:24 pm.
Ha! I’ve thought the same thing about the mall. I’ve also thought about department stores.
So far, I don’t have any ‘real’ plans but to try to protect my kids. Otherwise, I’ve got nothing ‘planned’ per-se. I enjoyed reading your blog, though!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 12:18 pm.
Oh, good! All the kids can come to the mall. There ought to be plenty of toys there, and there’s all those fun play areas!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 12:25 pm.
Having two son, whom I adore, but are ghoulishly inclined we spent a lot of time playing “what-if” so I actually have some ideas. First of all the mall is a great place to gather, just remember most of those zombies were probably mall-rats already so their zombie instincts will send them straight for the food court. We have to lock down all probable points of entry from the outside and then sweep the stores for stragglers. You might want to have food sources at more than one location in case you have to relocate in a hurry. First thing you need to do is go into REI and get a solar backpack to pack emergency stuff into (change of clothes, 1st aid kit,MRE’s,space blanket, and a Kindle). The backpack will keep the Kindle charged so you won’t have to carry 90 pounds of books with you. It might be the end of the world as we know it but I am not going without reading material.
So I would bring my knowledge gleaned from my ghouls and I am a very good on the fly cook.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 12:55 pm.
Ooh, I didn’t think about how many points of entry there are! That could be a problem if there really are zombies.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 5:30 pm.
All those years of playing what-if pay off. We even have a survival plan if we would suddenly become homeless during cold weather.My sons love playing those types of mental exercises, so does their mom.
The mall issue is containable if you keep most of the security gates on the shops closed, not necessarily locked because zombies won’t know the difference.Do as much as you can on upper levels and have the escalators blocked off, popular belief says zombies can’t climb.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 7:56 pm.
DD#1 was a believer until she got so swamped at work filing claims from Superstorm Sandy she couldn’t think about it anymore. I had no go to plan, but the mall four days before Christmas doesn’t really appeal unless everyone else was out getting ready for Armageddon. In that case, however, I’d be all over that plan. Ours has a Starbucks and some tony shops perfect for leisurely browsing. Don’t know if there’s a wine shop, but we could always bring our own.
My plan for the day is the same for a Friday beginning with dialysis and ending with babysitting. I do have a special luncheon thrown in with a dear friend with whom I never get to spend enough time. That’s really special, especially at this time of year. She usually buys, but this time I’m treating her.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 12:56 pm.
Okay, I have now added “must have a Starbucks” to my plan. But then, I would also have to learn how to use all those machines!
Special luncheons with friends are the best. Hope you have fun!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 5:31 pm.
Forgot about the mall zombies. Oops.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 12:57 pm.
Living in SoCal, I’ve gotten used to hearing (for decades now) that the Big One will hit any day now. Sure it will, but after *($# hears of hearing it, I refuse to live my life with one foot under the table, ready to dive. When it happens, it happens.
And besides, I know I’ll be in the shower or sitting on the potty when the earthquake hits, anyway. *g*
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 1:29 pm.
Same thing when you live in New Orleans with the hurricanes. Of course, the big one DID hit with Katrina, but we’d moved away by then, so I didn’t have to worry!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 5:33 pm.
I’ve not specifically planned for the “end of the World” but I’ve always told my neighbors that if “The Great Flood” (we live in a flood plain and we are 3/4 mile from the Willamette River) that we have an “Ark” (22 foot sailboat) parked beside the house just in case, lol. I also have a very WELL STOCKED pantry that could feed a lot of people for quite a while. I am a grocery shopper, what can I say? LOL. Merry Christmas all!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 1:45 pm.
We tend to stockpile food, too. But not for emergencies–just because buying in bulk saves money! Hubby is very big on saving money.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 5:34 pm.
No specific plan, but we have extra water and food for about a month. Maybe more. I’m not sure. We got the water barrel after we replaced our hot water heater with a tankless one. We, also, have rain barrels that we use to water the plants because it cuts down on the water bill. In a pinch, I guess, we could use it after its been purified.
As for today, I’m making more caramels, attending a 3rd grade holiday party, getting my allergies shots, and hopefully, firing a couple of PMC pieces in the kiln.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 1:54 pm.
We do have rain barrels, so that helps.
Hope the party goes well!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 5:35 pm.
I can bring the generator. DH uses it for camping purposes. Also, I’ll hook the trailer to the truck, provided there is someone to help with the whole back up to the hitch thing, and then come around and collect everyone. I cleaned out the liquor cabinet, so I know all the stuff I throw in will be good
As for today, DH has a big surprise for me. The kids know and he’s used every child psychology trick in the book to keep them from telling me the secret. I try to ferret it out of them a few times a day, but he was good! I have no clue what we’re doing.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 3:16 pm.
Ooh, cool!! I love secrets. Tell us what it ends up being!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 5:56 pm.
Another SoCal girl here and we’re always waiting for that big earthquake…or not. I admit we did get cash before Y2K but that was because I was a computer programmer in a former life and it did seem possible there might be some hangups with ATMs.
If the world does end today I’m going to be very irritated because I spent a lot of time wrapping all those Christmas presents (and bday presents, because it’s Son1′s tomorrow)!
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 3:34 pm.
For Y2K, Hubby did some preparation, but mostly we didn’t do much. It made sense to me . . . but then I wasn’t sure, so I didn’t know what to do. Which meant I put my head in the sand as usual and didn’t worry about it!
Your poor son, having a Christmas birthday! Though I’m sure you treat him well with it.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 5:58 pm.
I don’t really have a plan for the Zombie Apocalypse End of the World unless you count owning a medieval battle axe, a tomahawk, a Native American spear and three very large, very sharp machetes. And I am a crack shot with a rifle, shotgun and pistol thanks to my Dad. Don’t currently own any of those, but I am certainly amenable to teaching everyone how to shoot with what we find in the sporting goods store in the mall.
Also, if the mall has a Panera Bread store or a bakery of any kind I can turn out 60 loaves of French bread and 40 loaves of Italian bread every hour.
Living alone has forced me to learn some amazing “red neck engineering” skills. Give me duct tape, a hammer and nails, a screwdriver, a cordless drill, a chainsaw and a roll of chain link fence and I can fix and or build just about anything. And I also know how to repair most plumbing problems.
We definitely need a mall with at least one bookstore, plenty of food options, bedding and a Bath and Body works store because I really don’t want to spend the Zombie Apocalypse sealed into a mall with a bunch of people with poor personal hygiene. I spend enough time doing that at Walmart.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 3:54 pm.
Well, you will DEFINITELY have to join us–all of those skills sound quite excellent. But do you know how to bake using the sun and tin foil? That is the important question.
Oh, yeah, the personal hygiene is crucial. I agree with you on that.
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 6:00 pm.
I’ve cooked over an open fire and in a stone oven and on the engine of a car. Does that help? And I think tin foil was involved in all three. Maybe we need to make sure there is a tin foil store in the mall?
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 7:30 pm.
Dibs on having you in my tribe.
Posted on December 22, 2012 at 1:23 am.
A bit off-topic, I know, but I just wanted to say a major thanks to the Goddess Blog for having hosted Robyn DeHeart a few days ago. So happy to have happened to win her giveaway contest!!! Doomsday has brought some great news and an anticipation of many more wonderful moments while reading “A Little Bit Wicked”. Looking forward to it!!! The new post-Maya cycle has started really well
Posted on December 21, 2012 at 6:29 pm.
Congrats on your win!
Posted on December 22, 2012 at 2:01 am.
Not all Malls have book stores. What kind of shopping is that?
Posted on December 24, 2012 at 6:06 pm.