So last Tuesday, I woke up with rosy red cheeks, some major aches, and a raging headache. Allergies, I said. But as I was due to get on a plane Wednesday, I thought I better go check it out. You guessed it – I had the flu (and no, I didn’t get flu shot this year. I never do. I am too arrogant, so convinced of my super-human health that I laugh in the face of flu shots. Lesson learned).
I came home and collapsed onto my bed to begin my pity party. You know the stages of flu, right? 1. Denial. 2. Anger. 3. Bargaining with God 4. Depression, and 5. Acceptance. I reached stage V pretty quick because I felt so bad, even with the Tamiflu and codeine-coated cough pills. I couldn’t work or read–too much effort! So I turned on the TV, and made the first of many mistakes for the week: I tossed my remote across the room and onto a couch. In other words, not in easy reach.
The channel that came up was Bravo. Bravo was running back-to-back episodes of the Shahs of Sunset. Have you ever seen this? Me either, and you guys know I watch trash TV. It’s about a bunch of rich Persians who live in L.A. They talk about each other and how they have each others’ back when they really don’t. But here is the tragedy: It was horrible, and I did not have the strength to reach for my remote. All day, I would doze in and out, and when I came to, there they were, arguing.
The next day, my mother came with chicken soup and a tub of jello (a big tub). Enough to have shared with the entire surgery ward at the local hospital. My mother subscribes to the theory that when one is sick, one should rest, and one should not watch TV. She turned it off. Boy, did I sleep. But I dreamed about Persians. I really did!
The next day, my mother determined I would live and she went home to care for my stepfather. I had the remote in close reach because I was still lethargic and tired and feverish. I began to flip through channels. I never watch TV during the day. Now I know why. Now I know why my parents all have FOX or CNN blaring 24/7. The pickings were so slim: talk shows by people I’ve never heard of, Dr. Phil who spends a lot of time promoting his book and his son’s publishing company, dancing or cheerleader mothers. Occasionally, Honey Boo-boo would swing across the bottom on a giant wrecking ball. I began to miss the Persians. I finally landed on HGTV Love it or List it, dozing on an off to the sound of renovations playing soothingly in the background.
I have almost fully recovered from the flu, thank you. And next year, I will get my flu shot. Because I can’t be subjected to a full day of arguing Persians again.
What is the WORST TV you have ever sat through and why? What’s your choice of activity when on your death bed? (and yes, I did read. I read a lot, because 24 hours is a very long time when you have nothing to do). Did you get your flu shot?