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I have been sitting here in front of this keyboard for way longer than I care to admit this evening trying to focus on a topic to write about. I have started five different posts as of this moment:
- a Christmas gift that arrived late
- why it seems to be so difficult to ever re-buy a particular scent I like because they always seem to be discontinued when the ones I hate stay on the shelves for years (Bath & Body Works Raspberry, I’m talking to you.. you need to go away.)
- the experience of cleaning out the Geezer’s closet last weekend
- the irritation of a back spasm
- and one other that seems to have gone out of my head now.
All were deleted because I got about four sentences in then decided I didn’t want to talk about those in any more depth than those few phrases.
My brain is all scattered this evening and I was becoming very frustrated with myself. Not helpful.
This year – especially this first quarter – I am trying to keep a positive outlook on things since I have some rather large projects in the works and negativity is not going to help at all. So when I started getting irked at myself for my lack of focus this evening, I decided to take a deep breath and spin my brain in a different and more positive direction. I stepped away and played “Find the Cookie!” with Shadow, lit one of my lovely smelling candles, put on one of my favorite playlists and closed my eyes for a moment. I began thinking about things other than what was causing me angst.
I started thinking of how I want to make eggs Benedict this weekend and how comfy my bed is. I started thinking of how lovely a fresh layer of snow will be and how I intend to watch the flakes fall. I added a few things to my wish list, played with the kaleidoscope app on my iPad (some of the results you see here) and did a little surfing for some new books to read. 
It was not long before I felt much less frustrated and was able to focus a little better on something to talk about on this lovely Saturday: focus.
Now, I don’t know about you, but my brain is always a whirlwind of things. Ideas, projects, to-do lists, random thoughts and a whole host of other random bits swirling about my head like Dorothy’s house in the cyclone. Focus is something I’ve had to work on most of my life. Some things I can hone in on with the precision of a laser, others elude me like a will-o-the-wisp. My mother said it was because I was smart and creative. I have other words for it, but hers are more complimentary and so we’ll go with those. 
When I find I can’t focus on something, or come up with a solution for a problem, I think about something else. Goddess Sabrina has mentioned her tendency to do jigsaw puzzles while she’s plotting. It distracts a part of her brain so she can focus more on what she needs to work out in the story. I think that is one of the most genius ideas I have heard in a long time. It’s like playing a smoke and mirrors game with your mind. She is much more organized about her method, whereas I just flutter off to other things until something clicks into place and I can go back to what I needed to do.
I would love to hear how you all focus on a project. Does it come naturally or have you come up with tricks that help you out? And if you have any book suggestions you want to share, I’m in the mood for some good butt-kicking alpha males (especially since I stupidly just packed my Black Dagger Brotherhood books)
43 Comments on “Out of focus”
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I tend to just think things through. I mull upon things while doing thoughtless, thankless tasks like ironing or washing up.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 3:38 am.
Hrmm ironing. That would be a good task to mull things over on. I’ll add that to my list of options – especially in the winter!
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 12:03 pm.
My therapist – who is a genius by the way – has told me that when it comes to my assignments and stuff like that, that I need to take regular breaks. There are times that my mind is generally three sentences ahead of my fingers (and doesn’t it cause grammatical errors as well as me to leave words out of the sentence!) and just buzzing in general, so a break away from what I am doing gives my mind a chance to slow down as long as I am doing one of the techniques that was suggested. At other times I am severely unable to think and I am tortured to come up with even one idea let alone a sentence for an assignment. When this happens it can take me a month or more to work on an assignment that ordinarily take me a week or two to do when I was on antidepressants. Thankfully I am getting a little better as it only took me about 3 weeks to go from researching the assignment topic to printing it out and handing it in at the uni. I was extremely proud of myself for this because I managed to proof read it (not something that I ordinarily do), pick up some mistakes, correct them and print out the corrected assignment.
Some brilliant alpha heroes exist in Sherrilyn Kenyon’s novels so it might be well worth hunting up some of her books. The Dark-Hunter series is chock full of heroes that not only kick butt and take names but have also been tortured in some way. This series really brings out my mama bear side and makes me want to hurt the fools that caused these characters pain (yes I really get into the books and connect with the characters, I’m weird like that).
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 5:35 am.
I’ll check out Sherrilyn Kenyons books. I think I did before, but can’t remember.
Sounds like your therapist has come up with some great ideas for you! That’s fantastic.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 12:04 pm.
I so get you. It’s been like a pinball game in my mind this week. At home and at work it seems like I can’t stick with something for more than a minute.
On my way to do one thing, I let myself get pulled into another. Happily, I got the green light to hire an assistant at work. This will be a first for me and I’m so eager to get started.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 7:53 am.
Congratulations on that! How exciting. Now you might have a chance to get things organized a bit, delegate the lesser things and focus on the important stuff. I’ve been in the assistant’s position before, just be gentle with the learning curve that’s necessary. But it’s wonderful that you’re going to get some help.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 8:24 am.
Thanks for the tips and encouragement. I definitely want to make sure I build a partnership from the start so I’m going to be careful in the selection process to make sure we’re both set for success.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 10:24 am.
I just did a little happy dance for you on getting approval for an assistant! That is going to be such a help to you.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 12:05 pm.
I have a tendency to procrastinate until I’m in the mood to do something or it’s the drop dead date and I have to do it. Then I just buckle down and get to it and I can usually end up falling through the paper into the world of whatever I’m writing or focusing so fully on the project that time asses and I’m not really aware of it. But I really have to be in the mood or force myself to sit and do it because I have no more time left. But I am in a position right now that I don’t really have to do much that I really hate – I’m in school so I get to choose my classes to a certain extent and that helps. There’s always something, somewhere that’s interesting when you’re doing an English degree.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 8:22 am.
I wish that I could say that for my Human Services degree. Occasionally I get assignments that I can choose the topic on and the words just flow easily and I do fairly well in. Yet there are other subjects where I don’t get to choose the topic or if I do it’s the less painful topic out of all the painful topics and I do brilliantly (think A’s and HD’s). It was worked out that the ones I don’t really like, I tend to work harder at subconsciously yet the ones I do like I tend to cruise a little. It’s weird, I worked hard on researching the ones that I did like but I did get praised by my head of the subject for not being shy about tackling the hard topics of child abuse and suicide.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 8:36 am.
I hear ya with the English degree, mine was in English lit, made for a ton of reading, but better than trying to muddle through a chem book – at least for me.
I really try not to procrastinate. Most of the time I’m successful.. except when it comes to housework..
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 12:07 pm.
I wish I could choose the classes I have because I certainly would not have chosen algebra. I am one week and two courses from an associates in Psychology and then I need to decide if I want to go on for a Bachelors. Not only did I get stuck with one algebra class I have to take another. Why?
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 1:53 pm.
I set aside a certain time where I do certain things. I break large tasks up into smaller ones. For instance, I never clean the entire house in one day. I wouldn’t even start. But if I dust one day and clean a floor the next I can manage.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 9:24 am.
I’ve given up on dusting, it’s pointless because if it gets done then I am the only one who does it. The same goes with vacuuming the carpet, if I don’t do it and it needs to be done then I actually have to point out and tell Sci Fi Guy that he needs to do it because I might be in the middle of an assignment and Gamer Dude is at work or Gamer Dude and I are on our way out to an appointment. *sigh* Men.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 9:35 am.
Good plan there, it definitely makes it more manageable.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 12:09 pm.
No. Focus does not come easily. And it seems like the older I get the harder it is to do. Not because I am losing it – I’m not, I’m not! There are just so many more distractions.
Exercise is the best way for me to think. It gets me out of the house and away from all the stimulus, and it clears my head. Thank goodness I found that in exercise and not something like, say, crack cocaine.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 10:56 am.
If I were a good girl, I’d be out on the bike more. It was the same way with me – a great way to clear the head. And I am glad you are a running addict rather than a crack addict. Crack is whack, Julia.
It’s not fair that there are so many things to do – both fun and not so fun – as we get older.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 12:10 pm.
I find myself taking many mini breaks. I’ll break to put laundry in. I’ll break to take a small walk. I’ll break to play a game of Bejeweled. It may sound like I can’t get anything accomplished, but I find it allows me to recollect my thoughts. Organized thoughts equals focus for me. I think!
I have been off of the Romance genre the last couple of books, and I can’t wait to get back. Butt-kicking alpha
males sound good to me, so I look forward to reading anyone’s suggestions.
I think you refocused yourself just fine, Sheridan!
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 10:59 am.
Thanks, Kelly! The mini-breaks sound like a great idea. I have read where setting a timer for 15 minutes when you have to do a task helps. Anyone can do something for 15 minutes, you know? Then take a little break.
My question is: how do you stop at one game of Bejeweled?
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 12:13 pm.
Now that is pure discipline!
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 12:39 pm.
If I get bogged down and lose focus, I will start something else. Sometimes I cross-stitch, sometimes I work a jigsaw puzzle. The best is some light background music. It stimulates a part of my brain while allowing me to focus on other stuff.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 11:00 am.
Music is good! Classical is my focus music. I sometimes forget to put it on and if my head is all over the place, I’ll close all windows and put on my classical playlist, then restart what it is. If I’m really all over the place, I go into another room and just listen for a few minutes.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 12:15 pm.
When I need to focus, oddly enough, I have a shower. I’ve got two young sons (4 and 2 1/2 — and believe it or not TWINS on the way; talk about a shocker when I went to the ultrasound on Thursday!) so things can get pretty hectic around here. I find that when I want to clear my head and get to focusing, I wait till my hubby is available to watch the kids and I hop in the shower. I usually sort everything out while I’m shampooing my hair, and when I come out I feel refreshed and ready to focus.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 12:24 pm.
Congrats, Cheri!
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 12:40 pm.
Congratulations! I can imagine a shower is a bit of an oasis for you! That’s a lot of energy running around your house!
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 12:55 pm.
Congratulations!! My sil went in to get her tubes tied 5 years ago and discovered that she was pregnant with twins.
I, too, sort things out in the shower.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 2:41 pm.
That’s wonderful, Cheri! Congratulations.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 4:18 pm.
Thank you for the well wishes! The news came as a big surprise, as neither my husband nor I have any other twins in our families. We’re both very happy, though
Posted on January 27, 2013 at 1:01 am.
By the way, I am reading Lets Pretend This Never Happened. It’s a memoir, and it is laugh out loud hysterical. You could easily read it in a weekend. Good belly laughs always help, too.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 1:36 pm.
oh, thanks! I’ll check it out!
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 1:37 pm.
I am a procrastinator and get distracted easily. Can you say “squirrel” (from the movie UP) I think I will blame it on getting older, yup, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Christine Feehan’s Dark series had some pretty alpha males in them. Lords of the Underworld by Gena Showalter are great. Both series are paranormal as Black Dagger is. Love the guys in Maya Banks KGI series for a contemporary read.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 2:38 pm.
I may be really showing my age but the drawings above remind me of the black light posters I had as a teenager.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 2:40 pm.
haha they do, don’t they?
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 5:45 pm.
those pesky squirrels are the downfall of many of us, I think.
I have not read Feehan or Banks, I’ll add them to the list to check out! Thanks!
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 5:47 pm.
Focus?What’s that? I used to be able to focus like a laser but now I seem to have the attention span of a gnat. But what I do to get myself back on track is read quietly for a bit, listen to music and just veg. If I have the time I might put a movie on to play in the background, it has to be one I already have seen so I don’t keep running out to see what’s happening. Of course with Two Towers all bets are off during the march of the elves, that scene never gets old.
My sister needs to clean house before she can get down to a project. The problem there is she can get distracted by some of the stuff she is cleaning.
If you haven’t tried her Sandra Hill’s Viking series, I love her characters because not only are they strong, they make me laugh, Sherrilyn Kenyon or Christine Feehan are both good choices. Have you read any of Kresley Cole’s Immortals After Dark books?
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 2:42 pm.
you and I would be in trouble if we had to work on a project together and Two Towers came on – all work would cease, I think.
I tried Kresley Cole and could not get into her for some reason.. though I might try again. I will look at Hill and the others.. thanks!
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 5:48 pm.
I just watched Two Towers here at my son’s but some how I hit the wrong button for the closed-captioning and it was in Russian. I am so glad I know this movie so well I didn’t need the captions.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 8:32 pm.
I set aside time to do certain things – Mondays – laundry and jewelry classes, Tuesdays – grocery shopping/farmer’s market/allergy shots, Wednesdays – volunteer at a local genealogical society from 10-2, Thursdays – catch up day, Fridays – either estate sales or volunteering in the classroom, Saturdays – family fun day, and Sundays are spent at home to have a break.
I used to make jewelry every day of the week for hours on end until I injured my thumb last year – trigger thumb, which is common in people who use their fine motor skills for stuff like jewelry making, knitting, crocheting, etc. I spend less time making it these days because I know the limits of my thumb. I’ll still make stuff a couple of hours a day. Currently, my dilemma is finding a way to sell jewelry that’s less time consuming than etsy.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 2:59 pm.
I hope you do find a new outlet for it that will work out well for you.
You are way more organized than I think I can hope for – I’m envious!
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 5:50 pm.
Focus has only recently become an issue for me. And I have learned that the only way to achieve it is to begin doing something that needs to be done soon. Once involved, the focus comes.
Can I have some eggs benedict too? Love them but never make them. They are restaurant food for me.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 3:00 pm.
You are welcome to eggs Benedict any time you like! I admit I cheat on the Hollandaise some of the time as it takes so long to make it “properly” so if you can forgive that, than brunch is on!
It is too distracting to be an adult, I think. *sigh*
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 5:51 pm.
I have been rereading the Cynster series in an attempt to hold off on my reread of the BDB till closer to March. I’ve been in a reading rut, since all I really want to is to know what happens to Blay and Quinn. I actually have both paper and e versions of the brotherhood books so that I can always access a copy.
I’m actually one of those annoying people who can focus really easily on projects. I hate having things hanging over my head, and being in control of the (or any) situation makes me really happy.
Posted on January 26, 2013 at 8:19 pm.
Hi Sheridan
I wish you luck with your writing & focus.
And I agree with others, you need to step away sometimes so that you can refocus. I work for 8 full time professors & 4 part time and 1 director. Sometimes I feel like I am pulled all over the place. It can and does get hectic, but definitely keeps me on my toes. My mind is constantly on the go and needs a break to “empty out”. I like to do mindless work sometimes to get myself refocused. This includes mowing the yard, folding laundry, folding tent cards and just mundane chores.
Posted on January 27, 2013 at 12:04 am.