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Two Suitcases: One too many
Many, many years ago, I went with a boyfriend to his parents house. They did not know we were coming. They had several little pugs running around who were not house-trained. I mean seriously not house-trained. My memory is that there were four or five dogs, but my memory tends to exaggerate as time goes on.
Anyway, his mother was horrified and angry at her son for showing up with a girlfriend without letting her know, because had she known, she would “picked up.” Which meant to me that she would picked up for guests , but not herself? I’m not judging, I’m really not. I know not everyone can get the house-training thing down. But let me tell you who was horrified that day: ME. That family acted as if it was no big deal to have dog poop all over the house, but I was afraid to touch anything, step anywhere, or eat anything. But the funny thing is, what made them uncomfortable was not dog feces everywhere, but me! I was intruding in the way they chose to live their life and it made them feel bad.
Yeah, I dumped him shortly after that.
I've never had Will Farrell as a house guest, but I am betting he'd be a bad one
In THE LAST DEBUTANTE, (on sale 2/26!) the last book in my Secrets of Hadley Green series, Daria Babcock shows up at her grandmother’s house. Her grandmother didn’t know she was coming and she’s not exactly excited. She’s in the middle of some heavy stuff, including a wounded man in a back bedroom, and she doesn’t have time to mess with her granddaughter. But Daria has come to Scotland all the way from England, and her grandmother lives up in the Highlands, so it’s not as if she can go get a hotel room. She has to stay. Daria’s grandmother and her wounded guest are miffed that Daria showed up unexpectedly, and now she is intruding into a battle she knows nothing about, but it makes them feel uncomfortably exposed. It’s Daria’s fault! And things go downhill from there, including a kidnapping and a ransom, and lots of brawny Highlanders and another secret revealed…but I digress.
Have you ever been an uninvited guest? Have you ever had unexpected guests in your house and felt uncomfortable because they had a glimpse into some part of your life you’d rather keep private? What’s the worst guest experience you’ve ever had? What’s the longest guest experience you’ve ever had?
Good news! One lucky commenter today will get the VERY LAST ADVANCE COPY of The Last Debutante!
125 Comments on “The unexpected House Guest”
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Lord I hate unexpected guests. It’s not that the place is a mess, well sometimes it is but it isn’t my fault it’s the two guys I live with neither of whom is inclined to actually clean unless I nag them. It’s just that unexpected guests mess with my routine, stress me out and I am a person that needs my routine – it’s an OCD thing. It also depends on the person who unexpectedly turns up, Gamer Dude’s ex who is more of a sister figure now is a pain in the butt to show up and to be honest, I dread it when she shows up because I feel like I have to entertain her since she sits like a lump on one of the recliners and I am unable to focus on my assignments.
We have had a couple of people stay here unexpectedly, one of them stayed for 4 days and that didn’t bother me too much, we were watching her because we felt like she could be a suicide risk. The second guest is Gamer Dude’s sister, if she stays more than one night then it’s too long because I just can’t handle her for more than one night.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 5:02 am.
Kelly, it sounds like you need a quiet place to escape to when the come
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:53 am.
I would love a quiet place to escape to, I’m a classic introvert (even if it doesn’t come across that way on here) and home is my refuge from being around lots of people outside but my family would have a fit if I went and hid as a child so it got ingrained in my head that it is rude to hide and have me time when there are visitors. *sigh* I guess that’s what happens when an introvert is born into a family of extroverts.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:21 am.
I feel like the unexpected guest. I had to move back with my parents after everything dropped out from under me and I feel very uncomfortable being here. My mother doesn’t like anyone doing anything in her kitchen. Everything in the house is her way. I’m hoping that soon things will turn around so I can go back out on my own.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 8:24 am.
Ooh, Aida, the dreaded adult-returns-home thing. I had to do that several years ago when I moved from DC back to Texas. My mother wanted to know when I’d be home for supper, was doing my laundry, and was calling me at my new job. Not fun. I got out of there as quickly as I could.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:54 am.
My dad used to come over and sit here all day while my stepmom was in law school. Eventually I just handed him the TV controller and went in my office and worked.
Having a small house works on one level. Nowhere for guests. If the kids have friends over, I’ll find boys sleeping all over the basement floor. Sometimes they stay longer than I’d like. But if we let the food run out, they do too.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 8:40 am.
I never have any food to begin with, so that definitely works out for me, LOL!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:55 am.
Have you ever been an uninvited guest? Yes, as a kid we would occasionally stop by relatives upstate. I would never do that now and don’t like to have uninvited guests either.
The longest guest experience I ever had was probably about a week and it was my inlaws.
One bad experience was a diff set of inlaws who hogged the shower and my husband couldnt get to work – God forbid he ask them to let him use it.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 8:41 am.
I know! It’s so weird when parents or older siblings are involved — you revert back to the kid somehow
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:56 am.
We once hid at my aunt’s house to escape uninvited guests. We got a letter saying, “Hi! We’re cruising around visiting family, we’ll be there in 2 days and we plan on staying for a week!” It was the couple and their 6 kids. We moved into my aunt’s house for 4 days. Apparently my parents didn’t know these relatives that well to begin with and had no intention of hosting their entire family for a week. So yes, we were uninvited guests but my aunt really didn’t mind – she laughed at us a lot that week and made us comfortable. We escaped unscathed and the relatives went on to the next stop on their tour. We still talk about that in our family and laugh.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 8:57 am.
I have an aunt and uncle like that who do that in their retirement. They are pretty elderly, but it feels like once they stopped working they forgot what it’s like to have jobs and families, and would just announce they were coming and park themselves for several days.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:57 am.
I am not a fan of unexpected guests and all of my friends and family know this, so I usually get a call before hand. I think I would be thrown into a panic if someone just dropped in. Not that my house is dirty, but there are times where it is messy, that is just a natural when you have young kids, but it makes me uncomfortable to have a messy house with guests. If it gets messy while they are here that’s fine, but it must look good when they arrive.
We had my in-laws for a week in the fall and that was waayyy too long! It ment a week of wearing my bra all night, and that’s a big thing for me.
My MIL cleaned my bedroom and did my laundry once while she was here. Hubby and I came home from a date night to find our laundry done and our room spotless. That made me uncomfortable. I still say she used it as an excuse to snoop.
I can’t wait for Feb 26th and Daria’s story!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:15 am.
THank you, Amy!
And may I join you in the bra thing. It needs to come off when it needs to come off, LOL!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:59 am.
One of the reasons we left Wisconsin was to move away from my in-laws. My F-I-L was such a man that I could fill volumes. My in-laws would show up out of the blue and just expect us to be excited, no matter what was going on in our lives.
The problem with moving 600 miles away is that one time when they visited they stayed for 6 WEEKS!! After that I put my foot down – they needed to tell us when they would arrive and leave.
Can’t wait for the end of February!!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:22 am.
Six. Weeks. of. Inlaws. Shoot me now.
Thanks, Kez!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:00 am.
Yes, and it all comes down to family. The in-laws are full-time campers. Well, Grandma died when they were down in Tx, so that ran back up here and ended up staying here with us. Why? Because out of them having 6 kids in all, we’re the only ones with an actual guest room! It’s not that great, in the basement, but it is a place for extra people to sleep and have their own bathroom. I was kind of annoyed because there was no place else for them to go.
When my uncle died 6 years ago, they “found a bed for me”. This funeral was in New Mexico. After 10 aggravating hours in the car with my bro & sil, I was placed by family, who are really gross when they sleep, in a room with sheets that smelled bad. I endured, and was glad to wave at the extended family through the back window. When my aunt died the following year, Mom took pity on me and got us a hotel room. It was like a mini-vacation because we sat around and read books, then turned up at just the right time. Other than having to attend a funeral, it was like having a girl’s weekend. So yeah, being on both sides of the guest thing is no fun.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:46 am.
I am a big fan of hotels now. Especially when a lot of family is involved. I need to time to decompress.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:01 am.
I’m usually not a comfortable house guest – expected or not. Though a generous friend helped me find the secret – an en suite guest room. The less I interfere with my host’s routine, the more comfortable we’ll all be.
I feel for you and that horrible visit. My brother used to bring home friends when he was in the Navy – living by NYC made him lots of friends – and my family tried to roll with it but its a small house.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:52 am.
That’s the other way to do it! Insist your guest accomodations come with their own private facilities, LOL
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:02 am.
I generally warn my siblings when I decide to invite myself for a visit, even when I’m inviting other siblings to join me in visiting
Of course, they do the same 
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:07 am.
Well I should have said that siblings are a different category. They have to take me if they like it or not.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:15 am.
I wasn’t uninvited, but— when in grad school, two friends, a brother and a sister INSISTED I come home with them for Thanksgiving. I felt on the spot, and went. When I got there, they went off with their friends, leaving me with their mother. She was a sweet woman, but talk about awkward. So this poor woman is trying to “entertain” me while I would have liked to just curl up and read a book. It was the weirdest weekend of my life.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:34 am.
Oh, man. That would be so awkward!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:39 am.
Oh, and I do not allow univited house guests. Even my mom, who would open her house to anyone, expected warning.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:37 am.
I’m still trying to get over the idea of a house with dog poop left on the floor. . . .
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:38 am.
I know. I was shocked, shocked, shocked.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:40 am.
I can’t imagine that. Dog poop … never, EVER.
One time, a guy I was dating invited me to meet his parents. He came to pick me up and looked at my purse and said, “Is that all you brought?” And I said, “Yes, why? Will I need anything else?” to which he replied, “I guess not.”
What he failed to mention and I failed to comprehend was that we were to SPEND THE NIGHT at his family’s house. HE NEVER TOLD ME. When I got there, I found out that he hadn’t mention it to his parents, either. I had to borrow a t-shirt and a toothbrush and oh, it was awkward.
I have to say though, that they were lovely and took it in stride. I broke up with him a short time later, but I always wished I knew his family better. THEY were nice. Oh, and there was no dog poop on their floors. None.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:46 am.
I would have been so ticked off. Could he not see that you weren’t getting it was an overnighter? Dolt. Dodged a bullet in that one, Karen!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:53 am.
I guess the only time I could’ve been considered an uninvited guest is when my ex would bring me to his parents house. They did not like me. Whatsoever.
I kind of feel uncomfortable anytime someone gets a glimpse into my private life. Believe it or not I am a very private person, so when we have guests over, even old friends, I am a little on edge. Last year the in laws came with their two children along with my parents and niece. They all spent a couple of nights in our house before the real vacation started. That was interesting to say the least. Bodies were everywhere!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:48 am.
Ooh, that sucks, Kelly. The ex inlaws part. I love to read Dear Abbey, and it seems like every day there is something about parents who can’t accept their children’s choice in mates.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:54 am.
I don’t mind when someone drops in – Mom always said if they come to see my house, they get what is here – and I do not have animal feces in my house, I may be a tad cluttered. Probably my worst house guest experience was when a family member came to visit, refused to eat with everyone else – wanted a special meal fixed for her when she was ready, critisized the house, colors, decor – you name it. Was happy when she left.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:54 am.
You always wonder what’s going on with people like that, you know. What makes them so unhappy?
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:52 pm.
I’m lucky I guess in that we’ve not had unwanted guests before other than the odd pesky housefly! Mostly it’s my sisters who drop by to visit & they are definitely welcomed warmly.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:58 am.
Right. Siblings, nieces and nephews get special dispensation in my book
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:52 pm.
My house is the house that all people seem to go to – therefore unexpected guest is a constant – my family does not seem to mind just deciding to come stay for a couple days. I have a nephew who came to stay for a “little while” while he got back up on his feet – that was maybe three years ago………..I think if I kick him squarely in the butt he may land “back on his feet” but not quite sure. The big problem – having empty bedrooms with beds in them – take note – if you have an empty room don’t put a bed in there – people seem to find their way into it.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 11:00 am.
I have noticed that!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:53 pm.
The only time we’ve had unexpected guests is when my Aunt & Uncle’s car broke down on their way home from NY to FL. It broke down in northern SC and we live in southern NC. It ended up being a nice, but crowded visit since we already had company!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 11:02 am.
Family emergencies get a pass, too, I think.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:54 pm.
Good Morning! I am in between teaching classes and thought I would drop in for a peak at today’s blog. I don’t think I have ever really had an unexpected guest of the human kind. Yes, animals but not of the two legged variety.
My unexpected guest seem to be ducks flying in and staying a couple of months on the farm. The occasional fox, groundhog, skunk, etc. We have had a baby buffalo come up onto the porch at the front door and want to come in and visit for awhile. But all of these I love and just smile. Come anytime!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 11:03 am.
Oh my lord, I would LOVE to have a baby buffalo come up and visit! What a great place to live, Debbie!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:55 pm.
I know it sounds silly, but I actually love unexpected guests! Most of my family live out of state as well as my friends, so an unexpected guest usually means that a loved one is near. I also follow in my mom’s ideals of having an “open-door policy” meaning anyone who needs it for any reason is welcome to stay with me. A couple of times in the past I had needed this from friends/family and was very blessed to be welcomed into their homes (for example when my heating did not work suddenly or when I found the ex was cheating on couldn’t bear to return home to the house we had shared). I am lucky to now be married to a wonderful man who also doesn’t mind having guests. In addition to adult guests, we also regularly foster animals from the shelters (both dogs and cats) and are in the process of being licensed to foster children. My home is full of love and I welcome anyone who needs a comfortable place to stay and a good meal to come by anytime they want.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 11:05 am.
Heather, that sounds wonderful! You will have the perfect foster house.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:56 pm.
Many years ago my now ex-hubby invited me to his house for Thanksgiving dinner. Unfortunately he didn’t tell his mother. When we got there she was in her robe and curlers and the turkey was sitting on the table…that’s it- turkey only…no mashed potatoes, gravy, veggies, cranberries, pie….just a big ole turkey. I should have known then to run run run.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 11:09 am.
Hindsight, right, Sheila? I look back and can think of those moments that should have told me to run
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:57 pm.
Really never have to worry about unexpected guests. Caller I.D. and not answering your doorbell works wonders on keeping them away.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 11:15 am.
I do love me some caller id
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:57 pm.
When my eldest brother and his wife surprised most of my family (not the second brother, who was in the surprise) with a visit last year for my mother’s birthday week, my room was not “clean”. I’m saying that because they stayed in my room, and I ended up bunking in the living room. Anyway, it was an uncomfortable feeling. Not a lot, given that they were family, but still sorta embarrassing for me.
Longest my the long stay of my uncle and aunt. Let’s just say that it felt weird having they stay for some time. Not really used at their presence.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 11:16 am.
I know the feeling, ER!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:58 pm.
While I was married to my second exhusband we went to his Mom`s one year for Christmas….our daughter had just been born in november and our son was almost 2…I wasnt givin a chair at the dinner table and my son had to sit by himself at the opposit end of the table…the food was cleared and put away before I was asked if I wanted anything to eat and my husband was never in the same room as me until we were leaving…I felt like the MOST uninvited guest on the planet!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 11:20 am.
that’s horrible! Sometimes people miss out on learning the most basic manners, don’t they?
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:59 pm.
The only time our family had unexpected guests was the blizzard of 1978. My mom’s car froze and she had to stay 2 to 3 days until the car thawed out. She and dad were divorced and it was really uncomfortable between them. Shortly after she left my cousin and his wife got their truck stuck in a humongous snow drift and had to stay until we got them dug out and sent them on their way. So that’s my unexpected guest story.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 11:25 am.
I hope you had food since you probably couldn’t run out and pick up a few things. If people got snowed it in my house (will never happen in South Texas), they would be in for a world of hurt. How many days could you eat popcorn?
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:00 pm.
Rolling up my sleeves to dig into this one!
Okay, so Big D and I were newlyweds living in a one bedroom/one bath apartment. We’d been married maybe a month, 6 weeks TOPS, and his brother moves in with us. I thought it was for a few days, maybe a week, two on the outside. He had moved to LA and was looking for work. He had a top notch degree and I figured he’d get a job pronto.
Ha.
He sat on the couch all day, everyday, while Big D and I went to work. He mailed MAYBE one resume a day. He never left the apartment. He didn’t help with the groceries, cooking or cleaning. He stayed with us for TWO MONTHS! I was babbling hysterically by then.
He moved in with my 80+ year old grandparents, bless them. He lived there for another two months until they encouraged him to leave.
He moved in with old family friends. He lived there for another three or four months. I don’t know how they got him out, but he finally left. I didn’t want to stay involved; it was too painful.
Big D and I never discuss the house guest that would not leave—it’s a hideous memory and we’d like to pretend it never happened.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 11:52 am.
As an addendum—at least he was housebroken.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:01 pm.
Did he ever get a job??
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:01 pm.
Yes. Then a wife. And now his wife manages his life. Which is the way of the world, right?
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:20 pm.
Isn’t it just??
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 6:01 pm.
I don’t have a recollection of being an unexpected houseguest, an unexpected visitor yes, but that was usually with family who is pretty welcoming and doesn’t mind. Worst guest experience was us visiting the in-laws this past Christmas, baby caught a stomach bug and the rest of us followed. Everyone ended up miserable just due to being sick, not fun.
Longest was when I was a child, my parents had to move out of the house they sold, but could not yet move in to the new one. Stayed in my grandma’s trailer for maybe a month (could’ve been more could’ve been less I do not remember it well), that was crowded.. very crowded.
Haven’t had unexpected guests here, because our family is several hours (10-18hrs depending on which family member) drive away and knows to give warning
.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:08 pm.
You just reminded me that when I was a kid, we had to live with my paternal grandparents for awhile while our house was built. Four kids in the living room on the floor. It was a tiny little house. Ugh.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:02 pm.
I ended up being an uninvited guest once, but like so many here, didn’t realize I was unexpected. The family had a cat and the mother was convinced that if they sprayed in the kitchen for roaches, the cat would die, so there was a roach problem in the kitchen that everyone there was used to, but I had to pretty much hold my breath not to scream every time I saw one!! I’m good friends with them and the issue’s now been taken care of, but my first visit there was a little unnerving!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:12 pm.
As bad as dog poop!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:03 pm.
The only unexpected house guest I had was when my roommate decided to move in her boyfriend of a month to live with us. I was not pleased by this, since 1) I didn’t know him at all 2) He wasn’t going to be splitting any bills with us 3) He has just lost his job and sat around the apartment all day long drinking beer 3)I had to make sure I was dressed for company. He lived with us through the end of the lease about 9 months. I was a total b to him while living there. But good came out of it my friend and him got married this year and I have come to love him. I guess I just don’t want to live with him.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:13 pm.
hahaa! I’m glad you guys got past the 9 months from hell, Robin
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:04 pm.
It’s not the unexpected guests that bother me as much as the ones that show up then never want to leave!!!Especially when everyone else is leaving and they’re getting more comfortable!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:22 pm.
Especially at the end of a party when you MIGHT have had a bit too much to drink. I said MIGHT
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:04 pm.
I haven’t had any major unexpected guests, but I did have one that was sort of unexpected. It was this guy I had gone out with a few times when I lived in St Louis and he was headed to LA. We had not talked in a few years and I get a note from him telling me had been trying to find me, etc.. (not creepy, I had changed numbers, etc and had not thought to give it to him)
Anyway, he said he might be coming in for some expo and I said cool, let me know when you find out for sure. Apparently, to him that mean when he arrived since he called me and said “I’m here!” and brought his overnight bag. Huh.
I let him stay the weekend, but also made him help me rearrange furniture as I had to cancel a few things with him popping up like that.
I also had one friend come to visit, it was expected but – after me explicitly warning him not to eat anything in the fridge since I had been traveling A LOT with work and there were some pretty scary things in there. He didn’t listen and ate some chicken sandwich that had been in there for WEEKS. Needless to say, he got food poisoning and I had to postpone my next work trip until he recovered. I’m not heartless, but I did warn him and he looked at the date on the package and knew it had expired.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:26 pm.
What a doofus. I bet he didn’t make that mistake ever again.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:05 pm.
Years ago, when Hubby and I had been married for only a couple of years, we had unexpected guests from his family. They drove–I kid you not–from four states away without letting us know they were on the way. Totally. Unexpected.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:49 pm.
I really don’t get who does that. What if you’d been out of town?
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:06 pm.
I went to visit my parents before I got married with my now hubby. I didn’t expect to spend the night and we both had planned on leaving after dinner. I was three months pregnant so that train had left the station and my mom announced before dinner that if we were spending the night that we were sleeping in separate rooms. My dad just put his head down into his hands and cringed. My dad and now hubby had both just come in from outside where my hubby had just officially asked my dad for my hand in marriage. It was not a comfortable dinner and we left as soon as dessert was done and let dad explain to my mom why we had come three hours for dinner.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:50 pm.
Ah moms! Makes me laugh – sounds like something my mother would have done.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:06 pm.
I had a similar experience when I first met my in-laws at their house, except that they weren’t embarrassed that their one dog wasn’t housetrained. The Animation Dude and his sister were, though, and complained about it until the dog died 11 years later. Add that my mil was a hoarder in the early stages of Alzheimers, and my fil had just fired their housekeeper. I was horrified because I grew up in a home at the other end of the spectrum with a mom who’s a perfectionist. Their house gave me anxiety, and after I got to know them better, I would clean the house whenever I was there. Once it took me 2 days to clean the bathroom.
Once one of the Animation Dude’s best friends showed up with his new girlfriend without ever calling. It couldn’t have happened at a worse time because my dd was just over a year old and had been sick with colds and ear infections for the previous 4 or 5 months and hadn’t slept thru the night in nearly a year; my ds had had strep twice, even though, some young pediatrician insisted that 4 yo didn’t get strep; the Animation Dude was traveling for his job to NYC for recording sessions becauses 2 of the voices were in plays on Broadway. The house was TRASHED in a way that it had never been and hasn’t been since then. I felt better when the girlfriend said that her boyfriend should have called first and that she understood how crazy it can be when kids were sick since she has a bunch of neices and nephews. When we invited them over for dinner a month or two later, I made sure that our house was as clean as my mom would have had it.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 12:55 pm.
Janae, you are a saint. I can hardly clean my own bathroom, much less anyone else’s bathroom.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:08 pm.
I’m not a saint. The bathroom was SOOOOOOO gross that I couldn’t use it. More than once we stayed at Animation Dude’s best friend’s parents’ house because I couldn’t stay at my in-laws. I LOVE his best friend’s parents – I wish they were my in-laws. When we stayed there we took turns making dinner. It was SO much fun.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 4:42 pm.
Not too many uninvited guest stories, thank goodness. I really don’t mind them normally, but as my daughter, her hub and their precious little one have been living with us, THAT is another story. I honestly do NOT know how she deals with him because he is an utter slob….wrappers everywhere, trash all over the place, wadded napkins in his jean pockets, socks in a ball, etc. That was a rule I set down with my hub and kids very early on…I wash it how I get it and any money found is MINE (no ifs, ands, or buts). If you want it clean, then turn the jeans the right side out, unroll socks and turn them right side out, etc., and if you leave $$ in the pockets, I’m going out to lunch the next day. Otherwise, I’m not responsible for the results. I have to say, the SIL has been profitable–found $28 in his jeans last week.
He gets mad when I wash his stuff because he thinks he or my daughter should do it, but if it’s in the laundry room and I don’t quite have a full load otherwise, I put it in there. We all work full time, so it helps in the long run. They will be moving out into an apt later this month and I’m as ready as they are. I love my daughter and my Munchkin Girl, but it’s a constant struggle to get the house clean with the front part constantly looks like a bomb went off in there. And, cleaning up after a toddler is a non-stop job. 
When they move out, it will only be me and the hub and we work full time, so there won’t be the constant need to tidy up.
I cannot even imagine how you must have felt…you dodged a bullet with that one for sure!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:12 pm.
Toddlers are destruction machines.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 2:02 pm.
I’d clean up after than toddler rather than the SIL any day of the week and twice on Sunday….
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 3:28 pm.
Luckily, I can say we have not had any uninvited guests come to stay. I’m sure hubby would have shown them the door! I did have my brother come to visit us in Florida. I helped he and his fiance plan their wedding on the beautiful beaches of Sanibel. The wedding was lovely and I gave them a small reception on the lanai by the pool. Problem is, his two teenage children from a previous marriage came too. They were so bratty and rude and just slobs on my lovely furniture. Also, they kept the TV volume way up in the family room ALL NIGHT to the point I had to go in there and turn it off. I am very particular about anyone staying. My son visits all the time and that’s great because it’s just him.
Signed:
The Mean Hostess
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:18 pm.
I feel like that sometimes, too, Connie. Get your crap and get out
. not often, but there have been those occasions, usually teenagers or rude young adults that pushed me over hte edge.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 2:03 pm.
Glad to hear that someone else feels that way. Either some people have no manners or they tend to leave them at home. That’s when I have no problem in telling them to find a hotel. I think it was Ann Landers who said that people become a doormat only if they allow themselves to be. Wise Lady!
Posted on February 5, 2013 at 9:48 am.
My nephew was moving overseas and thought he had found a home for his pet snake. The friend who was supposed to take the snake backed out and he showed up with the snake at my front door. While I’m not afraid of snakes I don’t particularly love them. And I can’t stand the thought of feeding them a live animal (mice in this case). The snake was in our spare room, locked away from the cat and I had to have a friend come and feed it until we could find a home for it. Any human houseguest would be welcome after that!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:22 pm.
Oh no. Oh no no no no no no. Yikes, Cindy!!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 4:12 pm.
Years ago my husband offered our spare room to a friend who was having marital issues. I came home after work to a house guest. It probably wouldn’t have been too bad if he helped out. Nope. Luckily he didn’t stay long
We did have another friend stay with us but it was totally different. I would come home and he had cooked dinner and cleaned house.
I hate housework. I work all day and don’t really want to come home and spend the rest of my day cooking and cleaning so my house usually looks a little disorganized. It’s not dirty but with a little advance notice I can at least straighten things.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:24 pm.
Yes, I think I might have found a way to hang on to that houseguest, Pamiam
(the second one)
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 4:13 pm.
I used to have a friend who’d show up on my doorstep in the morning and not leave until I finally kicked her out around midnight. I’ve never liked people just showing up. Not because of poop–so gross–but because I’m probably working and look like crap.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:30 pm.
I had a neighbor like that. She’d come by just to chat because she knew I was home, working. But she would talk and talk and talk and I’d have soooo much to do.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 2:04 pm.
I have definitely had house guests that stayed too long! We were fortunate to be stationed in Germany for three years and lived in the picturesque countryside of Bavaria. Shortly after we moved there my parents called and wanted to come visit. I said, of course that sounds great! When they arrived and got settled in we went out to eat and their visit came up so I asked, when do you head back? My mom said, “we thought we’d stay at least a month”. At least? Are you kidding me. We lived in a 1200 sq ft townhouse with three small children and a kitchen that was aptly named the one butt kitchen, because there was only room for one person at a time! It was a LONG month! I learned my lesson well though, I always ask when they say they are coming what they are returning!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 1:32 pm.
Mothers, LOL. She probably thought nothing of it. Like having a house full of children again.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 2:05 pm.
We bought a houseboat & had lots of visitors the first summer. After one set stayed later than we had planned we instituted the 3 day rule: Visitors, like fish, go bad after 3 days! Now, we are very specific if we have any visitors that they have to be gone by day 3. (We compensated the next summer by having NO visitory the entire time!)
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 2:27 pm.
That’s the way to do it. I think it would get super close on a houseboat.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 4:14 pm.
My in-laws never call before coming over. They drive me insane with their comments especially since our house is messy with 2 kids. I tried to hint VERY strongly that they should call before coming but the best that they did was calling when they are in our driveway. If I love my husband any less, I swear that this is grounds fro divorce!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 3:17 pm.
Yes, that would be grounds for divorce! First rule of inlaws: Don’t say anything about anything!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 4:15 pm.
I very much like to know if someone is coming over. But that’s probably more introverted writer in me than anything else.
FYI, I read an advance copy of THE LAST DEBUTANTE for my March BookPage column and I loved it!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 3:46 pm.
Ah, thank you Christie!!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 4:15 pm.
It’s weird because I don’t think I’ve ever HAD an uninvited guest. Ever. They were always invited. One of the invited ones (newly separated friend, had trouble finding an apartment; it’s more complicated than it sounds) stayed two months, which you’d think would be awful, but really wasn’t. She’s quite a bit younger than I am, and she was really emotionally shattered and I mothered her. And since I’ve never had a daughter, it was like having a daughter around. I enjoyed it SO much. She still calls me on Mother’s Day, which is very sweet since she does have a mother living in a faraway place.
Other than that, no one ever comes to stay for long and no one has ever come uninvited. I think it has something to do with my having an autistic child. People get nervous about that. Huh. One of the upsides of that, I guess!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 4:12 pm.
I don’t have a lot of houseguests that aren’t family. I think my problem is that when people come to Austin for some reason (like work), I want to hang out with them. I probably hover.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 4:16 pm.
I live by my grandmother’s rule – Guests are like fish, they stink after three days. I never allow anyone to stay more than 3 days (although there have been some occasions that it happened) and I never stay more than 3 days.
In the past I was the person who never said no – ok, I’ll help you move, I’ll pet sit, I’ll work on the project … there was two times that people stayed with me for way too long. One friend was moving and needed two weeks before the apartment was ready to move into – within those two weeks I tolerated the disgusting habits of the rare shower they would take, the oh, that stain on the carpet was from from coffee, my bad, I didn’t think it was that bad — I almost lost my mind and wanted to check myself into a hotel. The other friend had recently gotten out of the service, with no job, no apartment, no family nearby, -ok, stay with me… dealing with someone that I gave money to for lunch as I was the one working and paying for food, electric, everything, they felt like having strangers in my house -just a few people I met, hope you don’t mind, leaving and coming in after 2 am – finally I lost it and said that they needed to get a job, and their response for me to “hook” them up to one where I worked –WHAT, so needing money, I did (again, I had a problem saying no). I recieved still no compensation for the next few months, until they casually told me they were moving that weekend into a place they got. UUGGGHHH!
So I found my voice, and my grandmother’s and No One stays for more than 3 days.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 4:39 pm.
Eeewwweeee! No showers, and stains on the carpet? Don’t let that person get a pug is all I’m saying
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 5:00 pm.
I once dropped in on my sister to use her bathroom while I was out running errands. Her front door was unlocked and the car was in the driveway so I knew that she was home. When I walked into the living room, no one was there. I called her name – no answer. No one was in the kitchen. Again, I called her name – no answer. I used the downstairs half bath and was getting ready to leave a note and take off when she came running down the stairs. Her hair was mussed and she was blushing furiously. I instantly knew “what” I had interrupted. I beat it out of there in a fast hurry, locking her door behind me.
Really, some people should remember to put a hanger on the doorknob!!!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 4:50 pm.
hhaaahhaaa, that’s hilarious, Lady Dawg.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 5:00 pm.
Hubby knows I don’t like uninvited guests so he never brings home a surprise guest
My biggest annoyance is when you get an uninvited guest who expects to be fed home cooked food. As if having to cook for myself isn’t bad enough!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 4:56 pm.
Remember the show with Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore? (of course you don’t, you’re too young). He worked at some TV agency in NYC, and they lived in New Rochelle, and he was always coming home with people who needed to be fed–without calling. That would earn someone a punch in the face around here, I fear.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 5:02 pm.
Hear, hear!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 5:35 pm.
I was an invited house guest last fall at my brother’s house, but the situation became a little awkward because his MIL became infirm and needed constant care. Besides that, he had to drive me to and from dialysis three times a week. Luckily, my HS sweetie pitched in on that, and everything worked out okay.
Don’t enter me in the drawing because I already won a copy of The Last Debutante. I finished it last night and thoroughly enjoyed it. Love Jamie and Daria.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 5:03 pm.
Thanks so much Donna! So happy you liked it
I’m sitting here trying to figure out if my HS sweetie would help me now. Hmmm… (of course would have to know where he is)
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 5:10 pm.
Last unexpected guest was year before last at Christmas. My niece, who was 19 at that, came over and planned to make some type of sweet for dinner the next day. That girl knows very little about cooking, has no concept of money, clean up, running water bill by running water carelessly, cleaning up after yourself or such. She will never spend another night in my home.
I lived 3 months with my youngest sister when my home sold in 2009, and started looking for another. She made me feel welcome in so many ways. When she needed to run to the store, I stayed home with the kids so she didn’t have to get them out, helped cook, clean up, fold laundry, whatever she needed. It’s a peaceful mind knowing that when you leave work, you will have a roof over your head that night when you lay down. I think her youngest son hated for me to go as he had someone who would play with him and not hurt him. Cameron(5 yrs old) has 2 older brother & 1 older sister.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 6:00 pm.
Wow, Ginger. That sounds like a costly dessert.
I think my sister and I could move in indefinitely and never have an issue.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 6:07 pm.
Well, I have been completely entertained today by this…
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 6:28 pm.
I know. It’s amazing how many people with different ideas roam this earth, eh?
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 7:43 pm.
It has happned to my a couple of times… I was so embarresed, My house is always clean, I mean as in not dirty, might be a wee bit messy, I mean I am reader, there is bound to be a book or two strewn around the room. But the dishes are done and thre is not dirty messy things hanging around… After all I am not perfect, thought other may think so.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 8:00 pm.
I don’t think you should have been embarrassed at all! Sounds like you are actually living in that house.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 8:14 pm.
I’ve never had the experience of being unexpected or have unexpected guests show up. But then again, I’m not a real big fan of opening up my house for guests. I think it stems from an uber bad experience when I was kid. We had relatives fly in (expectedly) but after a few days, I really wanted my cousins gone. They weren’t bad, they were just younger and got into EVERYTHING and halfway through the visit, I was just constantly closing my bedroom door to keep them out of my stuff. Of course, after they left, we realized they raided our basement and took some stuff with them but ever since there, I’ve had an aversion to having people over to look at my stuff. My parents and my sisters yes but I have anxiety when it’s anyone else
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 8:12 pm.
Wait…your own cousins took stuff? Oooh, that’s not good at all. I would have an aversion, too
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 8:14 pm.
I am not bothered by uninvited guests during the day but having them stay overnight really bothers me. My parents sent their friend to stay at our house for 4 days. I didn’t know her so we had nothing to talk about. She didn’t like noise and I had 5 children. I didn’t have a car so I couldn’t take her to a museum or shopping so she could be entertained. At the end we were both glad to see the last of the other.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 8:22 pm.
Rosemary, I am sure you don’t think that’s funny, but I do. How miserable!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:07 pm.
Had unexpected guests and the house wasn’t really ready for them to visit.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 9:48 pm.
Never fun
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 10:08 pm.
My house is ‘kept up’ but if company is coming, I’d vacuum and clean bathrooms right before they got there….
I don’t like being a houseguest, but my story is of my Aunt Judy is the HOSTESS WITH THE MOSTESS. She makes everyone feel so at home, that you never want to leave!
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 11:10 pm.
I let a neighbor I had known for a while stay with me after he got kicked out of his apartment. I worked nights and he did some strange things in my house while I was working, like reading porn in my son’s bedroom on his bed, etc. I had to ask him to leave before long, he made me really uncomfortable.
Posted on February 4, 2013 at 11:30 pm.
I don’t think I’ve ever been and uninvited guest, but I do remember being a kid and having family friends over without warning. No matter what I always feel self-conscious about all my stuff, and I don’t really love people intruding into my me-space. Thanks!
jessicamariesutton(at)msn(dot)com
Posted on February 5, 2013 at 12:22 am.
When I was in undergrad school our college choir did a tour of the UK. Rather than hotels we stayed with the families of the churches in which we sang. I was lucky. My roommate and I got to stay with some great families. However, in Scotland (and this trip was in March. Scotland. In March. BRRRRR) we stayed on a sheep farm. And in the interest of allowing us to experience life on a Scottish sheep farm they let us stay in a little caravan in the middle of the sheep pasture. It was a tiny two room caravan with NO HEAT. Did I mention we were in Scotland? In March? In the middle of a Scottish moor? The wind was so strong it rocked the caravan. We crawled into the one bed under the entire contents of both of our suitcases. At one point we seriously considered dragging the sheep into the caravan for warmth! I’ve often wondered if the dear little Scottish couple simply didn’t want us in their house. Or didn’t want the church to send the next poor unsuspecting American singers that came their way to stay with them!!
Posted on February 5, 2013 at 1:04 am.
I frocked up to my boyfriends house, still living at home (a very bad sign right there), & like you I was NOT expected. I would have happily walked home. Shocking visit. I was not made to feel welcome at all. Can’t really blame them. I DO blame the ex-boyfriend.
Posted on February 5, 2013 at 3:35 am.
I don’t remember ever being uncomfortable over unexpected overnight (or longer) guests. I have occasionally been uncomfortable when people I don’t know well (or at all!) or don’t see often suddenly show up at my house. I like things to be really clean and picked up in these circumstances.
Posted on February 5, 2013 at 6:00 pm.
Many years ago when I was newly married, my aunt was going to come for a visit; however, when she arrived, she came with a cousin whom I didn’t know was coming! I wasn’t prepared for her and I didn’t really know her either as my aunt came from a large family. But I welcomed her into my home and we had a good time together. As a result, I had a relationship with a first cousin I would not have had otherwise.
Posted on February 5, 2013 at 11:28 pm.
Many years ago my late husband and I and our 6 kids had moved up from down the shore. We had rented a house and at the last minute the realtor told us we couldn’t move in until a day later. That left us with 6 kids in the car at 9:00 at night and exhausted from driving for over 2 hours.Anyay, after calling a couple of Hotels and finding no rooms he called his Mom who lived in a 4 bedroom house alone. He explained the situation and she said to come over. We got there and everyone basically went to bed. The next day I have never felt so uncomfortable in all my life. She let us know we were intruding and this was a one time thing etc etc. She started yelling at the kids from anxiety I guess and a fear we’d never leave. lol The truth is, I have to say we had some pretty well mannered kids but they should not have felt like they were doing something wrong. She slammed doors and banged dishes down. It was a horribly uncomfortable feeling and since we were moving into our place the very next morning I told her to get a grip because we understood and were leaving and it was unfair to everyone to feel so awkward and uncomfortable. f she felt so badly she should have said no. I’m very grateful to this day she put us up but it was just terrible.
I know 6 kids is enough to make even God tremble but honestly, they were such good kids and never touched a thing and sat reading to just stay out of her hair. We ended up going to the Mall and hubby got us2 rooms at a hotel for the last night.
Carol L
Posted on February 6, 2013 at 7:01 pm.