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A few years ago I admitted to myself that I write heroes that in all likelihood I might not marry if I met them in real life. Part of that has to do with the selectivity of fiction— in my books I can change them by the end of the book in ways that real life probably would not. The truth is that my fictional heroes are always “to die for” handsome, buff, and often also rich and brilliant, but in real life I have rarely met such a man who was not also so spoiled he could not entirely be fixed. (Your experiences may be different, of course. If so, Congratulations!)
The hero of my forthcoming book, The Conquest of Lady Cassandra (coming Feb. 26, and available for pre-sale now), is an exception. Oh, Lord Ambury is to die for and even somewhat arrogant, but he possesses a charm that makes him very amiable, and he does not wear his conceit on his sleeve. He is also more flexible in thinking and living than the typical lord of his day. In real life I would have a different problem with Ambury— I might wonder why he was being so smooth and friendly, and I would be looking for an ulterior motive. Cassandra certainly reacts that way, especially since there are good reasons why Ambury should not like her much at all. As it happens, her instincts about his motivations are dead on.
Are there differences between your preference in romance novel heroes and real life heroes? Or are they pretty much the same for both? Do you like to read about men who have certain qualities that, if you are honest, you might not want to live with in a relationship? Do you value some things more in life than you make a priority when you are reading about these guys?
I know that I do. My real life hero, with whom I have lived the majority of my life now, has a lot in common with my fictional ones, but he also has a sensitivity toward me that affects everything, even his sense of humor, and that is at the top of my list for real life hero qualities.
So, what are the top two things you want in a fictional hero? In a real life one?
EVERY COMMENT MADE TODAY will be entered to win a book prize pack as a daily prize! Also, one poster today will win an enamelled and gold tone bangle bracelet from Madeline’s stash of “the flash sites made me do it” jewelry, along with a signed copy of the first book in The Fairbourne Quartet, The Surrender of Miss Fairbourne. In addition, at the end of the week, EVERY COMMENT MADE THROUGHOUT THAT TIME will be entered for our GRAND PRIZES – a $200 bookstore gift card, and two $100 bookstore gift cards!!! SO COMMENT, COMMENT, COMMENT!
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186 Comments on “Describe Your Hero”
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I do have to agree at least a little that the heros I like in fiction aren’t necessarily the ones I’d like in real life. There is a little bit of an obsession with having rich, wealthy and arrogant heros, and honestly that would indimidate the hell out of me in real life.
In a fictional hero I love charisma and strength, but they still have to be sweet, and I guess real life is pretty similar but way lower/different expectations.
Interesting post and thanks for the giveaway! Love to enter if it’s international
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:06 am.
I agree that the intimidation factor can’t be ignored.I’m not sure I could even talk to these fictional type guys if I came across one in real life!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:50 am.
Real life hero first – easy: respect & love. In that order.
Fictional hero: attitude & wit. I couldn’t live with it, but makes for great reading.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:21 am.
Love that attitude in the books! Might get old fast in life, huh?
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:51 am.
Wow, that’s hard. Hmm, there are so MANY attributes I could name, but…
…the majority of the good “L” words out there. You can come up with some of them, I’m sure.
…that certain “something” that grabs my attention. It could go either hero.
…and a certain ‘balance’ between “sexy” and the “soft” in my fictional hero. Basically, in another way, a ‘balance’ between the “warrior” and the “lover” in which I’m not sure which trait to focus on.
Still feel like there’s some ‘unanswered’ pieces to the whole “ideal” hero. Both kinds.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:33 am.
I agree that a bit of mystery is nice in either kind. The process of discovery is compelling.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:53 am.
Oh, you took the words out of my mouth. Or something like that.
But yeah, some “mystique” of some kind is nice. Isn’t that why we read the book? To see how the hero/ine grows from interacting with each other and so on?
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 3:43 pm.
That definitey keeps me turning the pages.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:35 pm.
Hi, Madeline. What a great topic to discuss. And what fabulous giveaways on offer! Here go my five cents.
In fiction I look for a man who is, how shall I put it, hmmm.. complex? Or mysterious? Can’t seem to hit on the right word at the moment. What I mean is, a fictional hero should be someone about whom not everything is clear from the start. A man with something like a secret about him to uncover while reading the book. I want to learn why he is what and who he is, what has made him so.
Secondly, I think a fictional hero should be a man of action. He should be brave and decisive enough to act when faced with challenge. Not sit and wait for others to resolve the problem, but do something about his situation himself. OK, he may struggle or make mistakes along the way. But at least he tries his utmost to do what he thinks is best in a given context.
Other things like good looks and brains come without saying
Two key things a real-life hero should be are, first of all, caring and secondly, a man of his word – trustworthy and dependable in his relationship with me and with other people in general.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 5:01 am.
What a great response. The “caring” covers a lot, too. I always feel safe with my real life hero, even though he is not a Navy seal type.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:55 am.
For me it’s intelligence and respect. It is applicable in both fiction and real life. Love can develop over time but intelligence is something that either is or isn’t there.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 6:02 am.
If they have those two things, it will create so many other positives, won’t it?
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:56 am.
Oh definitely. An old neighbor tried to set me up with his friend once. This friend of his wasn’t very nice and wasn’t very intelligent and everything inside me said “Girl, just don’t go there”. Sci Fi Guy drives me nuts regularly because he asks me the stupidest questions over stuff that the average joe would know or he would ask me what a phrase in a book meant because his reading comprehension skills are really quite poor and when I ask him what he thinks the phrase means he throws a tantrum. Makes me kind of wonder why I dated him at times.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 12:07 pm.
I definitely put up with and even enjoy things in a novel hero that I would never tolerate in a real mate.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 6:16 am.
The alpha take charge stuff would get old fast with me, for starters.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:38 pm.
Top two things in a man:
real life and fictional: intelligent and strength of character
My favorite books are those that have the h/h bantering through their attraction. I love to read about witty, intelligent characters. I don’t need him to be handsome, but give him siblings to take care of and a house full of dogs and I melt.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 7:28 am.
Oh, I love the somewhat gruff, somewhat exasperated older brother now in charge type in fiction.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:40 pm.
Your appreciation of your DH’s treatment of you is really lovely.
Definitely don’t want what the guys y’all write but… well I don think I want want that…. Well maybe a little.
Ok here’s the thing, where are the confident men? I’ll admit arrogance gets my attention but it doesn’t keep it. But confidence? Yeah, that’s the ticket.
I’ve got an office full of alpha women and beta men. It’s sooo frustrating.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:18 am.
Do you think beta men showed up in the world because alpha women did too and some men could give in to being beta? It is something I wonder about. .
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:59 am.
Most of the time I wouldn’t be able to live with a fictional hero. After the first couple of times that he told me what I could and couldn’t do, he would be gone. He’s not a man, he’s a parent. Besides I’ve never met a billionaire or a millionaire. A real hero doesn’t run when the going gets rough.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:20 am.
See, it was figuring out what you explain that made me realize how even the attraction of my heroes was a fantasy. I too would not put up with some of this.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:01 am.
What a good question! I tend to adore the tortured hero like Suzie’s Robert Carroway. IRL, however, I tended to avoid guys with too much emotional baggage. I also don’t love the uber-possiveness found in many fictional heroes in real life, but enjoy it on the page (to an extent.)
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:23 am.
Oh, gosh, yes— spare me the emotional baggage in real life. Unlike fiction, it is very hard to fix that in life. A woman ends up Mom.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:03 am.
In fiction I love the bad boy heroes with a lot of issues. No way in real life. In fiction I know the heroine’s love will help the hero to change. In life I know better than to think you can change anyone. Yay for fiction.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:25 am.
well I prefer to read romance novels about how hunky the men are and how sweet they are towards their females the heroine than to real life. I haven’t found a guy worthy of being a hero. Oh well. Maybe I should look harder.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:40 am.
I think he is out there if you keep your eyes open.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:41 pm.
My real hero is sensitive to my needs and makes me feel loved, appreciated, etc. daily! He makes me laugh.
The trade off ((which I gladly accept,) is that he is not obsessed with his career. Work provides a comfortable income that enables him to pursue other interests. To me, he has a healthy balance.
In contrast, many other men (and women), put their careers first. Time, education and focus go into earning as much money as possible, career advancement or aiming for the corner office. Their income might be incredible, but they don’t have much of a personal life.
My fictional hero doesn’t need to meet that standard. They can be sinfully rich, gorgeously handsome, driven, etc! It’s fiction. Maybe that’s why I enjoy reading Historical Romances? I am amused, entertained and enjoy escaping into a world I will never experience.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:43 am.
That escape into another world is sure the appeal to me of all romances. I like knowing all will end well, too.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:05 am.
In a fict. hero: sexy, kind, funny, loyal, can be rich or not, thoughtful.
In real kife: kind, funny, loving and thoughtful.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:47 am.
Your real life hero sounds pretty sexy too!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:06 am.
Devotion to his woman and a great sense of humor!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 9:10 am.
I’m not nearly as picky in romance as I am in real life. As long as the author makes the romance work in a reasonably logical fashion it works for me. Best ones have guys who are smart, minimally arrogant, and have a good sense of humor. I often wonder how the ladies in novels put up with the ones who are full of themselves, I’d have been out of there in a heartbeat with that.
My sweetie has intelligence, a sense of humor that works with mine, and he’s not intimidating, nor intimidated by me. He’s loveable, fun, and he’s awesome with the baby.. my heart melts just thinking of it
.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 9:21 am.
I like a romance hero that is somewhat alpha and has a lot of emotional baggage. I love seeing him overcome his baggage with the help of his heroine.
I know in real life that I would never be able to put up with a complete alpha male and a man with too much baggage would probably drive me mad. Humor and confidence are things I love about my hubby.
I am really looking foward to reading Cassandra’s story!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 9:47 am.
My fictional guys are more alpha and usually richer and better looking and know how to dress themselves. In real and fictional life I want my guys to have a sense of humor. My DH is the smartest and funniest guy I know.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 9:50 am.
Heroes I admire share the same qualities both in novels and in real life. The top qualities are compassion and a sense of humor. If a man has compassion, he has a conscience. That’s so important. It means he would stop to help a kitten as much as he would help a human. If he sincerely listens to people and is fair in his dealings with them, he is a true hero.
I love your novels, Madeline, and cannot wait to read “The Conquest of Lady Cassandra.” I have a birthday on Monday and am adding this to my Birthday Wish List.
Congratulations on all of your successes!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:00 am.
Hi, Connie—I am so flattered to have my book be a birthday gift! I hope you have a great day.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:45 pm.
In fictional hero, I would say nice looking, larger than life bad boy turned good. But in my real life, it’s all about what’s on the inside. My husband is kind, supportive, smart, charming, sensitive, gentle, and a joy to be with all the time who is very handsome to me. He is my real-life hero!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:00 am.
I think this is the main reason why I read historical romances (or any romance genre) is the heroes can be anything my fantasies want them to be.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:07 am.
Yep. Then I can close the book and not have to deal with how incompatible we really would be.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:42 pm.
I enjoy a story with an alpha hero. He can be flawed, even physically, just don’t let him be dumb enough to fall fora TSTL heroine.
In real lite looks are subjective. Kindess is an important trait.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:10 am.
Yeah. He can’t fall in love with the heroine who, after he says “DO NOT move. Stay here while I kill this guy”–decides she should move and gets captured and—:)
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:47 pm.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 3:10 pm.
Real life.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:11 am.
Fictional: Alpha and sexy
Real Life: Smart and Loving
There’s a big difference in real life and ficition!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:12 am.
Short, to the point, and hard to argue with!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:47 pm.
I would like my hero, real or fictional to be strong, dependable, loving and kind and most of all have a good sense of humour…
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:15 am.
Real Life: Someone who makes me laugh and respects me as a partner well as love me – my husband does all of this! I am very lucky.
Fictional: Sinfully good looking, rich and can be changed by the love of his life.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:18 am.
I totally agree with the sinfully good looking. Rich is good too, but secondary for me. Some readers say “Omg, another sinfully good looking hero!” I say, bring ‘em on.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:49 pm.
To me, reading about great fictional heroes (handsome, wealthy, willing to die for you, own a castle or two…) is a good thing. While my husband may not be perfect in every way, he is still perfect for me. The fictional heroes give me something to hope for that is beyond the normal; the heroes help me to realize that to have the hero in my own life (my husband), that it takes two for the relationship to work. That often keeps me looking at myself and then working to keep me happy with me, also.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:18 am.
Early in my career I read this great article by a reader that pretty much said the same thing. She was describing how the books really do affect her life.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:45 pm.
Fiction: alpha with attitude
Fact: considerate with wit
Both s/b dependable, tall
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:24 am.
Fictional Hero: Exceptionally good looking, smart, funny, and wealthy
Real life Hero: smart, funny, kind, loving, money wouldn’t hurt
Not a lot of difference in what I want in a hero. In real life looks don’t matter as much as the character of the man himself.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:25 am.
Hey, I like your avatar. Wish it were bigger
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:51 pm.
What a wonderful topic. I, too, am married to my real life hero. We were just talking last night about what made us “work.” While hanging with the other parents at basketball practice, people were wondering how we got together and made it work between us. I think it is all in the hair. I told him at the beginning that he was’t allowed to tell me how to wear my hair, and I afford him the same courtesy. We’re of the same political persuasion, with a major difference that we have agreed to disagree on. He has dubious tastes in music and lamps, and I can’t keep the house clean to save my life. We make it work. And we value our differences.
One thing I couldn’t live with that I read a lot about is PTSD. It is in the historical novels from guys coming home from the Napoleonic wars, and in the contemporaries that I read from returning soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan. My early childhood was influenced by my grandfather’s undiagnosed PTSD from WWII, and other issues. The yelling for no reason is what got me. I’m not complaining, and I had a great childhood otherwise, however, I don’t think that I could go though that again. I also want to be clear that I support veterans, and this is nothing against men and women who served. I just couldn’t live with them.
I couldn’t live with a “dandy”. Modern or historical. To me, fashion is something that is fun to look at, but a pair of jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers are the “uniform” around here. I couldn’t live with someone who puts a lot of time, effort, and money into looking a certain way. I guess I’m just cheap like that, and I’m so glad that DH and I can look dorky together.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:25 am.
I think when you mention dandies, and fussing with appearance, you are talking about similar values. I really think that is crucial in a real life hero—he has to share my values. Otherwise there will be nothing but trouble. How would we have a conversation that did not end up in an argument, if our values were really different?
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:53 pm.
fictional one who has a backbone but isn’t abusive devoted to the leading lady but not a pushover
Respect
Has a sense of humor and hot
Real life all of the above doesn’t hurt
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:28 am.
In books I like strong, caring, and flawed. Real life I like supportive and someone who knows who and what they are.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:29 am.
Fiction: Man directs servants to do the dirty work
Real: Man does the dirty work
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:30 am.
Okay!!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:08 am.
LOL
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:13 pm.
We all love the appearance of the character on the cover, but the way the hero looks is not even important. In real life, give me a responsible, caring, considerate man any day. (A sense of humor helps.) When I read, I want a complex, brooding, take charge type of man. That type of guy would never work for me in real life. I guess I’m too much of an Alpha type girl to let any man take charge. I would be too tempted to knock him off of his high horse and lead the charge myself!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:43 am.
You could be my clone. This pretty much says it all for me.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:09 am.
If you have a very good alpha he will recognize the alpha in you and allow you to lead as well as him. Mine does it all the time and we’ve become a pretty good team because of that.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 12:10 pm.
Honestly faithfulness and honesty must be present in both real and fictional characters for me. Also a big turn off in both real and fictional worlds is a man who has slept with alot of woman.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:47 am.
In fiction I can tolerate an arrogant, overbearing man. In real life, not one bit.
Not one teeny, tiny little bit.
In fiction I can tolerate a hero with no sense of humor. In real life, he must have a killer sense of humor.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:51 am.
Love the alpha male in fiction. Looks, money, charm are all about fiction.
Real life is about compromise. Looks fade, money spends, but friendship, companionship, humor to get through the bad times, and without exception love.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:53 am.
So well put. And lovely.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:20 am.
Without a doubt, humor for both. Ya gotta laugh…
For the fictional variety, I like a bit of a bad boy, but I know that the fictional heroine will mold him into the perfect man that’s still just a little rough around the edges by the last page. In real life, I might have to do a Rapunzel in Tangled and smack him with a pan…
For the real hero, intelligence. The hub never ceases to amaze me with some of the smart things he knows or says. I am SO not a science person, but sometimes he will just rattle off some stuff about meteorology, or the turbines of an engine, etc. that just absolutely amaze me because I would never retain that in a million years and he rattles it off like it’s common knowledge to everyone, and he ENJOYS watching the Science channel and the Military channel, along with his fishing shows.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:53 am.
Yeah, that pan would get work out with some of the fictional guys. Mine would.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:21 am.
Hmmm, I probably wouldn’t be interested in a lot of book heroes in real life, either. I do like complex heroes who respect smart women though.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:00 am.
My heroes in both fiction & real life have the same qualities: honesty, loyalty, humor, strength of character, genuine, sweet, hard working, kind, thoughtful, sexy, & a big heart. I was lucky enough to marry a man with all of those qualities!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:05 am.
Oh,yes, honesty.How can we forget that. It is a critical hero quality, in both types.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:46 pm.
I think this may be a case of the grass is greener on the other side. I love the alpha male in fiction, however in real life I want a guy who is there for me, loving and willing to let me make a few mistakes along the way.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:29 am.
I have a theory that we tend to look for the opposite of our real life heroes in our reading. It sort of lets us dip our toes in the alternative.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:55 pm.
2 things I like in both fictional heroes & real ones are (1) a sense of honor/respect & (2) ability to see/sense of humor
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:33 am.
My real life hero (I married him 23 yrs ago) is a strong alpha with a good sense of humor. For fictional heros I tend to go for the same qualities. If I could add something to mine is to make him rich so that he didn’t have to work so hard and could play more.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 12:07 pm.
I like *all* of my heroes to be the kind of men who really love and like women, who don’t feel uncomfortable being the only man in the room. And I want them to be good with kids, to understand children as real people with real interior lives and feelings.
Beyond that, men who work hard, and just happen to be all muscle-y aren’t bad in either world
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 12:11 pm.
Like that guy in that commercial where the women are watching him from the window. . . ..:)
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:56 pm.
I want fidelity and common sense. You would be amazed at how rare these two qualities are among the younger men today. I thank God every day that my husband is of the older generation…LOL
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 12:30 pm.
On common sense—something happened today that alerted me to a young man with zero of it.An amazing story. I was shaking my head.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:48 pm.
Real life—- sense of humor someone who loves me for me and doesn’t want to change me.
Fiction—- filthy rich and hot looking.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 12:32 pm.
It is just personal taste, but I would add to the latter “And not into whips.”
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:49 pm.
A hero thinks of others first.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 12:35 pm.
In real life: Responsible and intelligent–let’s face it, they go hand in hand.
Fictional: Responsible and intelligent. Of course, it wouldn’t hurt to look like Chris Hemsworth!!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 12:37 pm.
I say go for it all in fiction, so we will just add that part about Chris H.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:51 pm.
I want a fictional hero to be attractive and intelligent. I look for intelligence and a sense of humor in real life.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 12:38 pm.
In real life that humor is sooo important to me.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:51 pm.
Fiction – Well, first off, he can’t be stupid!!! I’ve read a few where the hero was a few bubbles off plumb and we were expected to believe that the plucky heroine would just fall into his arms and love him forever!! It just wasn’t believeable!! As for the rest, I leave it up to my fave authors, so long as they don’t make him cruel or evil.
Real life – Having searched for Mr. Right for so long, I’ll take Mr. Right Now or even Mr. Breathing and Has the Requisite Parts!! I would also appreciate a sense of humor and a solvent bank account (he doesn’t need to be rich), along with someone who gets along with his parents. The way a man treats his mom is how he will treat his wife.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 12:41 pm.
Solvent and good humore are crucial. Breathing sure helps too
You are adorable.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:57 pm.
fictional hero- strong and loyal to his loved ones
real life- good sense of humor, respectful and willing to help with housework.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 12:44 pm.
Both fictional and real life heroes have to be intelligent. I’ve no patience for stupidity, and I don’t want to have to explain my jokes.
A fictional hero can be arrogant and posessive, but it’d never work in real life. He has to have a heroine that can bring him down a notch it two, while not giving into his possessiveness.
In real life I want someone who’s confident, but willing to admit he’s vulnerable to occasional insecurities, witty, good sense of humor, caring, and knows when to be spontaneous. And of course, willing to pitch in at any given moment to help.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 12:52 pm.
My hero does the laundry
I am not sure how I would react if a fictional hero did.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:52 pm.
In fiction, I love reading about the bad boy, in real life, a sense of humor, respect and kindness.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 1:02 pm.
My fiction hero and real life hero tend to be similar. I don’t expect perfection and I like them a little more humble. The arrogant I am never wrong kind of guy really annoys me. So I guess I like the wounded hero…someone who knows he has faults.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 1:08 pm.
I want someone who will respect and love me for who I am and also has to have a brain and know how to use it.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 1:20 pm.
“…but in real life I have rarely met such a man who was not also so spoiled he could not entirely be fixed.”
Sadly, I find you’re dead on here. As you say, when you write you can develop a character to overcome the problems. In real life, things rarely work that way – we’re all more flawed than we’d like to be.
I have found that I really can’t say if I find a man attractive until I know him. I can comment on the outer appearance, but that doesn’t get to the ‘attraction’ part. I’ve met guys that I thought were entirely unremarkable in their looks, then gotten to know them, loved them, and they became enormously attractive to me. What are the qualities that make them attractive? Kindness (in general, not just to me), a sense of humor, interest in the world around him, a heart that seeks after God…
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 1:21 pm.
As you may have noticed, I am actually sort of prejudiced against to die for guys in real lif.It isn’t fair, but I seethem as high maintenance, and unlikely to have had experiences that would make them sensitive.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:56 pm.
It’s fun to read… but then I wonder if it would change with the life changes that come along… children, other family issues, etc.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 1:24 pm.
In both my fictional and real life heroes I like the qualities of loyalty and honor. Loyalty in the sense that you know they will always be there for you. (This includes the idea of cheating. No cheating allowed heroes!!!) And the quality of honor in the sense that they have that strong logic of right and wrong. They’ll do the right thing even if it’s hard to do.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 1:24 pm.
I think under it all my real and fictional heroes are similar. I want someone who is understanding and can see me for me.
The trappings are just that and make a fictional hero dreamy – great looks, money, that gives the fun of dropping into another place which is what happens when one reads.
In real life I need someone who will be there for me.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 1:26 pm.
Who doesn’t love reading about a rich and handsome man who has a great personality but honestly those types will always remain a fictional hero. I prefer this type because it’s always good to dream a little. I noticed that my real life heroes isn’t necessarily handsome but they are usually funny, caring and outgoing. I guess they’d have to be outgoing in order to deal with a nutcase like me.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 1:29 pm.
He has to be strong and has to have a good sense of humor!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 1:47 pm.
I actually have three deal breakers; humor, honor and intelligence. Looks are nice and greatly appreciated but not totally necessary for me to think you are sex on the hoof. One of the sexiest men I ever met did not have one matching facial part; he had bug eyes behind thick glasses, buck teeth, receding chin, and huge ears. After five minutes in his company no one ever saw his features again, they just saw him and it was great. He was smart, funny, and one of the most stand-up guys ever. I sometimes wish I had married him when he asked but I thought way back then I should be over the moon, sweaty hands and feet in lust with someone rather than the slow deep affection and respect I had for him. Oh well, live and learn.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 1:57 pm.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:57 pm.
A lot of the heroes I write deserve a Gibbs head slap. *g* But I love that I can make them egotistical jerks, then make them see the error of their ways — and pay for it.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 1:59 pm.
Which is why I like your books so much, Suzie
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:26 pm.
I like giving the hero a virtual head slap when I read, and relish the anticipation of the comeuppance down the road.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:59 pm.
In fiction I like all the variety of men that are written. Especially how they fit with the lady loves.
In real life I like caring and a sense of humor. Caring does cover so many things such as protection, feelings for family, friends and strangers in need. Having a sense of humor means laughter, having a good time and even when things are going south we can find something to chuckle about to get us through those tough times.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:04 pm.
I like fictional heroes who are strong, smart and treat the leading lady with respect.
I expect the same thing in real life, too!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:20 pm.
Fictional hero – Alpha to the max, intelligent, witty and sexy as hell. Oh, rich and handsome, but there is a wide variety of handsome out there in fictional heroes. I find that in itself appealing. With fiction you can shop the smorgasbord!
Real Life – Commitment. Faithfulness. An ability to appreciate a woman for something besides her body and her ability to stroke his ego. A dry sense of humor. A work ethic. A sense of responsibility rather than a sense of entitlement. Gentleness wrapped in strength. Intelligent. Well-read. Appreciative of music – real music, not the kind processed by a sound man for a singer with minimum talent and maximum marketability. And actually I think I could handle an Alpha male really well at this time in my life. Frankly there are days I am too tired to handle it all and having some guy come in and take over the tough stuff might be nice!!
Yep! Now you see what I have remained singled the last 20 or so years! Picky. Picky. Picky.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:32 pm.
What a cool way of putting it—shop the smorgasbord.And that, ladies, is one of romance’s big appeals to me.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 5:00 pm.
I would want my hero to respect me and also be very caring and helpful. Those things are very meaningful in a relationship.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:50 pm.
My hero built me a dining room table last week to fit our new house. He made supper every night when I hurt my knees and it hurt to walk. We’ve been married for almost 18 years and he still makes me laugh and feel all gushy inside.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:50 pm.
Does he have a single brother looking for a fluffy lady with a slightly twisted sense of humor who likes cats and romance novels??
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 3:10 pm.
I like my fictional guys Alpha and sexy too. Who wouldn’t want to be defended or swept off her feet by some hunky guy. Of course they have to have a certain amount of charm or the Alpha would just be arrogant and annoying.
In real life I want humor and compatibility. It’s nice to come home and just sit and talk about anything and everything.
Most of us can’t have everything we want rolled into one sexy package but that is what reading romance is for.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:53 pm.
Honesty and a sense of humor for both:)
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 2:58 pm.
Intelligence and sense of humor for both!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 3:01 pm.
In a fictional hero I like good looks and a wicked sense of humor, I’d definitely say the same in a real life hero
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 3:05 pm.
A guy that is super tight with his family and says he will never fall in love but does immediately with the heroine. Dark hair, nice body and general good looks do it as well.
In real life, I’ll take my husband.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 3:07 pm.
Loyalty and a brain
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 3:07 pm.
I think my real life hero had best have a sense of humor and be someone I can respect. I also love a man who is kind to children and animals. As I respect a man who is self assured/confident, I tend to fall for some of these alpha fictional heroes!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 3:08 pm.
I like my fictional heroes a bit more alpha than my real life hero. He can sure stand up for himself and his family, but doesn’t have the typical fictional characteristics. Pleasant to look at, kindness, devoted, dedicated, thoughtful, sweet in his awkwardness. Those are the things I like the most.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 3:10 pm.
In general, fiction characters are more broadly drawn than real-life folks. A friend of mine used to say we needed a “willful suspension of disbelief” to enjoy books, movies and TV. I enjoy reading about heroes who share characteristics of folks I admire in real life–intelligence, honesty, a sense of humor, capability, loyalty–but I expect them to be slightly over the top of real-life heroes.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 3:18 pm.
I like my fictional men much more athletic than my real life man. In fiction I can jog endlessly, play sports etc, in real life, they’d have to carry me after about 15 minutes.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 3:35 pm.
Me too! In my imagination I am a female jock. In real life—-well, never mind..
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 7:17 pm.
In fiction I love the bad boy who secretly has these deep sentimental feelings.
In reality I want sensitivity (because sometimes I can be ridiculously neurotic and irrational) and humor (especially an ability to deal with my irreverance).
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 3:58 pm.
You are irreverent? I am shocked! :
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 7:19 pm.
You have come to the right place.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 7:19 pm.
I am a strong woman and I need someone who can not only put up with me but but bring balance into a relationship as well. In a fictional hero I would want that as well. But the most important thing would be patience, flexibility and a wicked sense of humor. In real life and in a book hero. Thanks,
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:26 pm.
I suspect that strong women really like romance fiction heroes. For one thing, we can fantasize about not always being the rock people lean on. There is this cool guy to take some of the weight.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 7:21 pm.
I like the brooding take charge heroes in books, but in real life he’s intelligent and trustworthy.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:40 pm.
I think I want the top two things I look for to be both in fictional and real life hero – Integrity and Humor
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:40 pm.
I think what I like in both fictional and real life heroes is honesty and sincerity. The heroes in books, even the rogues, are often sincere in their love for the heroine. Some are “bad boys” but none have really been horrible – just slightly scandalous.
In both cases, the personality is what attracts me more than appearance. I tend to focus on that when I’m reading more than picturing the hero physically.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:40 pm.
Even when I write I focus more on the personality. I have to remember to describe the guy.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 7:23 pm.
intelligence and humor
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 4:56 pm.
Uh, has Karen seen your post today with Hugh Jackman? You knows she lovesssss him….lol
Two things I would want right now would be for someone to truly care for me and be a man that I could be proud of.
Two things I don’t want is one who thinks I’m his maid and that he can treat me however he chooses.
I guess that’s why I’ve been divorced now for 14+ years…ha!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 5:13 pm.
I would have to say for fictional characters: I like that they are caring and for them to have some baggage to overcome.
However, for real life hero’s baggage might not be as appealing, but caring is something I would definitely look for.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 5:20 pm.
would be real , honesty and compassionte
fictin would be funhny and. Smart
great thanks
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 5:29 pm.
bit of a cross between Dean Cain and John Stamos
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 5:32 pm.
Tall, dark and duh, handsome. But has to have a great sense of humor, secure in himself and so much so that he has faith in you to make your own decisions. He must be honest but not brutal and a great communicator…but not self-centered in that he thinks he’s the only one who knows anything. The list could go on and on and on….lol
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 5:37 pm.
The very first things to come to mind…
fictional – humor!
real life – someone who sure doesn’t mind a serious space nerd…
Lois
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 5:38 pm.
6ft 3 1/2 in, blue eyes and light brown hair…..not overly muscular but athletic build. OMG I just described my husband! Well he is my hero….with everything he has been going through…..he still gets up and tries hard for his family. My husband has RSD and is in constant pain each and everyday.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 5:59 pm.
I too like the Tall Dark and Handsome heroes with a sense of humor, but also loyal. I also enjoy the Mr. Darcy (from P&P) and John Thornton (from North & South) type heroes – initially distant and seen to be cold, but deep down kind and love their family.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 6:00 pm.
My fictional hero is domineering, possessive and in control of every situation. In real life I wouldn’t put up with that! It’s just fun to read about.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 6:14 pm.
Available not always “too busy”) and a sense of humour
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 6:22 pm.
Fictional or real hero they should both be caring, respectful, loving and have a sense of humor(just as the female should be all these things)and also be willing to let a girl cry on his shoulder
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 6:26 pm.
I love the domineering type of male in fiction. I also like the sweet, geeky, funny type as well. in real life I like a mixture of all of those traits, slightly domineering, can be fun in certain situations… Honesty is a major one in both. if a hero has done the heroine dirty, years before dont expect me to believe he changed that much years later unless something really catastrophic happened to him in the meantime.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 6:34 pm.
Real life and fiction heroes are definitely different. I love the alpha male in books but in real life someone who is funny and thoughtful and loyal is on top of my list. I love to be cared for and thought about, given first thought not leftovers. Fiction is fiction and it’s fun to imagine
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 6:40 pm.
I definitely like my heroes a lot more alpha in my reading than I do in real life, but my real life honey is also as stubborn as I am. He doesn’t let me walk all over him and vice versa-lol.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 7:00 pm.
Any hero must have empathy and a sense of humour.
Fabulous abs never last but both those thing do.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 7:04 pm.
What are the top two things you want in a fictional hero? In a real life one? In both, honesty and compassion.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 7:38 pm.
Intelligence is very important in both fiction and real life as I am smart and need to be able to converse with him. In fiction, I want him to be tall and handsome but in real life, I can live without both. In fact, my partner is several inches shorter than his brother and when I hug them both, I like my partner being only about 5 inches taller than me rather than a foot. And, face it, we were both much better looking when we met in our 20s. But caring (as in caring for the needs and feelings of others) is probably number 1 in real life. In fiction, he can be arrogant because I know he’ll reform but I don’t want too much arrogance in real life.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:02 pm.
He has to be a nice guy who puts the woman on a pedestal. I just tried to read a book where the guy was such a jerk I had to stop reading it.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:14 pm.
Besides my husband , two words, Johnny Depp.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:33 pm.
For both the real life and fictional hero I like honesty, intelligence and a sense of humor. I don’t mind arrogance in a fictional guy but would hate it in real life.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:38 pm.
I want my fictional hero and my real life hero to be Alpha and to have a sense of humor (dry or regular).
And when I say ALPHA I mean it. In real life, I like a little alpha male, but that goes a long way in day to day living. LOL
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:52 pm.
A very long way!
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 2:10 am.
The top two things in a fictional hero are a sense of humor and integrity. I believe I’d choose the same things in a real life one as well.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 8:53 pm.
I like intelligent heroes with a sense of humor. They can even be demanding and stubborn, but I wouldn’t necessarily want that in real life.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 9:02 pm.
In fiction a bit of a bad boy with a sense of humor. Real life- Definitely a sense of humor but someone who supports me and is reliable. And an animal lover!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 9:02 pm.
I like a heroe that has a sense of humor and a caring side. Who thinks of others before himself and cares for animals and wants to make our life better and shares things with the family of our area that may need help. I feel we should all give to others also….
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 9:14 pm.
Character
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 9:23 pm.
In fiction definitely a bit of bad boy arrogance but also a hero that listens, asks, talks is always good….communicator ☺
my real life hero is my equal and I love him to pieces ♥
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 9:28 pm.
Honor
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 9:30 pm.
Isn’t it interesting how that word isn’t used much anymore? And there really is not another word for all it means.
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 2:09 am.
He’s gotta keep me laughing through good times and bad times and at the end of the day I know he’s there for me.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 9:31 pm.
Oh yeah my fav fictional heroes would make me really mad in real life. I admit that I tend to like alpha males in my books, whereas that would push my buttons if my husband were so domineering. The most important qualities my husband has are a sense of humor and caring.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:08 pm.
We think the same way, Michelle.
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 2:07 am.
I guess my fictional and real life heroes have the same characteristics. I’ve always been attracted to “alpha males”. My husband certainly is one and so I like for that to transfer to the page. I love men who are: dedicated but not pushovers, opinionated but still respectful, loving and tender but strong. I’m definitely a type A personality and I love that my husband knows when to let me take the lead on some things and when to pull me back when necessary. We can argue vehemently but we usually always end our fights laughing at each other and our silliness and…erm…doing other things…
So, yes, I love reading stories whose heroes are the same because I’m attracted to those qualities and can connect with those characters.
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 10:27 pm.
Tough to come up with just 2 traits. My real-life hero should be honorable and have a sense of humor. You know, I think that works for my fictiona heroes, too!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:01 pm.
My favorite fictional character hero is Jamie Fraser, but my live one is my husband who is presently fighting non-hodgkins lymphona. He’s my hero!
Posted on February 15, 2013 at 11:07 pm.
Love your books!
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 12:31 am.
Thank you!
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 2:08 am.
Hi Madeline -
I never realized what I was looking for in a “hero” until I met my husband. At the time he was in the Navy during Vietnam serving on an aircraft carrier. Even though I had plenty of men in my family who had served their country from my Great-Uncle Paul who captained the ship hit by a German submarine off the coast of New Jersey, to my Uncles Bob and Walter who served in World War II as well as my brother-in-law who served in the Marines and flew A-4′s in Vietnam. This time was different because it was the man who held my heart in his hands who was in harms way. As he left on a cruise shortly after I married I fially realized what I had always wanted in my own personal hero – I wanted a man who put others before himself, who fought for not for himself but for others and he was a man of honor who thought of others before himself.
This attributes went further than just serving in the war that no one wanted. He took those principles along with him when he finished his service and joined the Navy Reserves serving in dangerous situations in Columbia and Granada but also in Desert Storm but he also served in his community by helping to start the local soccer league and making sure that girls were included way before “equal rights” and opportunities were a popular cause.
Over the years he also worked to make our community a better place and donated hours to make the lives better of many who live here.
He also taught not only our sons but also their friends what true honor was all about – putting others before yourself and doing the right thing by helping others because it was the correct thing to do without expecting anything in return.
That what I also want in my fictional heros. I want a man of honor and who leads a life where he puts others before himself and works to make others have a better place to live and grow to be the people that they were meant to be. To not judge others and always remembering that they are just an instrument called upon to reach out and look around them and work to make their home, their neighborhood, their community and their country a better place for all.
My husband is my hero.
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 1:19 am.
What a lovely post. You are lucky to have him. And he is lucky to have you!
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 2:06 am.
Honest and a sense of humor are two great qualities. Wealthy doesn’t hurt either.
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 3:14 am.
My fictional heroes have a keen sense of honor & a wonderful personality. Haven’t had such luck in real life to find such a character yet & if I did meet him bet he’d already be taken!
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 6:28 am.
fictional ones: Funny and sexy
Real life: Smart and Kind
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 10:17 am.
So many qualities already mentioned….I would add a great hero is a protector.
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 4:15 pm.
Thanks so much for hosting this great contest.
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 7:54 pm.
Thanks for a fun post! Ummm… everyone has pretty much mentioned every thing that I’d want. In real life, the BF comes awefully close
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 8:08 pm.
Let’s see. The two qualities I like in a fictional hero are (1) self-confidence and (2) courage to do “the right thing” in a given situation. And the two qualities I like in my real-life hero are (1) trust and faith in me and (2) willingness to support me in my endeavors.
Posted on February 16, 2013 at 9:21 pm.
I love my heroes. I love that will die or sacrifice everything for the woman they love. The only thing I wouldn’t like is that they sleep with every woman they can until they meet the one.
Z
Posted on February 17, 2013 at 1:04 am.
I like really complex heroes in my books, and I just like funny, sweet, and intelligent guys IRL.
Posted on February 17, 2013 at 9:00 am.
waht the hell!
Posted on April 4, 2013 at 3:42 pm.
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Posted on April 4, 2013 at 3:48 pm.