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I didn’t mean for it to happen, honestly. My writer friends and I went over to B&N for coffee during our girls’ night out, and we behaved as usual, talking, laughing, enjoying being together. We were in the coffee shop (this is important–pay attention).
I went to get more coffee, and a gentleman in a red vest waiting next to me said, “You look like a nice lady. But you and your friends are laughing and talking so loudly that we can hear you in another part of the store (a few yards away). I don’t think you want all your business being heard. So please keep it down.”
I was stunned, as I always am when people lecture me in public (it happens a lot when you have an autistic child). I went back to the girls, related what was said, and we laughed (especially over the part about not wanting “our business” overheard; we were talking about WRITING). My only regret was that I had been too stunned to answer the man.
But I got my chance. The store closed, we went outside to leave, and I mistook someone else’s car for my friend’s (I am VERY bad at distinguishing cars; I go by color alone, pretty much, which isn’t helpful). Picture it happening in slow mo. I open a car door at the same time Ava Stone says, “No, no, that’s not my car,” at the same time that I hear a dog bark and realize that the car looks different. A man BOUNDS out of the other side of the car. It’s Red Vest Man (of course–who else would it be?) and he’s outraged. How DARE I try to get in his car?!!
As I stuttered my apologies, he began his lecture with, “First I ask you to keep it down and you ignore me . . .” And that’s when I went off. That’s when I said what I wanted to say before, “A coffee shop is NOT a library.”
When he sputtered that it was still courteous to be quiet while people were trying to read, I repeated, “We were in a coffee shop. NOT A LIBRARY.”
Then the girls joined in (I believe someone pointed out that if he wanted to read, he should BUY a freaking book and take it home), and he was outnumbered and he fled back into his car, where, by the way, his poor dog had been sitting for over two hours in 30 degree weather. Talk about discourteous!
But I digress. He didn’t know he’d hit one of my major pet peeves. I don’t mind people working or reading in a coffee shop. I used to do it myself. But I always understood that it was primarily a place where people go to socialize. There are already places designated for quiet reading. They’re called LIBRARIES. There are already places people go to work. They’re called OFFICES. Do NOT make me feel like a worm for socializing in a place designated for socializing!
Especially when the girls have my back.
Well, that’s one of MY pet peeves. Is it yours? Does it bother you that people sit for hours at B&N and read the books and then put them back on the shelf shopworn? That they expect everyone to speak in hushed whispers? Or that people use coffee shops as offices? Have you ever been shushed in public? How did you handle it?
93 Comments on “Throw Down at the B&N”
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We get vocal in coffee shops – good times.
My biggest pet peeve right now is people who stand in doorways or aisles or at the base of stairs etc & stand & talk & block the way. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! So rude & inconsiderate.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 3:51 am.
It’s dangerous, too. A fire marshal’s nightmare!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 9:03 am.
Sabrina, do not apologize for having a good time in a place that caters to folks who (wait for it..) want to have a good time. And I have you beat in the shushing arena, back in my misspent youth my sister and I were out with friends for an evening of frivolity that got out of hand. The up-shot was we were thrown out of three bars in two states in one night. Now tell me that isn’t the making of a country song!
I had and still have a smiley face stamp, one of the guys in our group started stamping people at our table and saying “Gotcha!” and that was fun; then he started on the other patrons and we were asked to leave for the night. So we went across the state line to another watering hole and Rocky got us tossed again; on to the next place! Yes! No! Leave. We decided to go on home before there was a tri-state ban on us.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 4:01 am.
LOL! I can see how the smiley faces wouldn’t go over well, though. But it was a BAR. Don’t bars do things like that?
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 9:04 am.
Obviously not in Colorado and Nebraska, of course we were close enough we could have checked out either Wyoming or Kansas depending on which direction we headed.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 11:34 am.
I have been known to be given odd looks on occasion because of what I have been talking about. There was this one time where a housemate and I were waiting on a pizza to finish cooking at the pizza shop and we were talking about girl stuff (okay, oversharing) in her car with the window down a bit when this guy overheard what I said and gave me the dirtiest and weirdest look. My personal pet peeve is when people walk so slowly while out shopping and take up the shopping aisle with their trolley. I am just wanting to get in and get out with the shopping, not get stuck behind someone who has parked their trolley in the middle of the aisle and is trying to decide between three different variations of the same item.
Then there was this rude little brat down town who mouthed off at Gamer Dude and I a couple of weeks ago all because I perved on Gamer Dude’s butt (which is mighty fine and I don’t hesitate to let him know it), made appreciative comments and patted it in public. The way that this guy was carrying on anyone would have thought that I had done something way more graphic, but Gamer Dude told this other dude right off and we went on our way. Honestly, what is wrong with showing someone who you love that you appreciate the effort that they put into their appearance and that you find them particularly sexy?
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 4:22 am.
Amen, sister!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 9:06 am.
I’m THRILLED you got your second chance! You 100% right, B&N is a shop first and foremost. We socialize in shops.
Here’s a song lyric I always think of in those “should have said” moments:
Well it’s so easy to be witty in retrospect
When you’re out of door you pause a moment to reflect
On all the crushing one-liners that you should have said
Fighting Talk bt Everything But The Girl
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 7:58 am.
I’m always thinking of my crushing one-liners in retrospect. I’m not quick on the draw like that. (My brothers are, though–too bad they weren’t there). But I was so glad I got my chance.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 9:07 am.
I’m so jealous you got your second chance for your one liner! B&N is a place to BUY books, not READ them. That really bothers me. If you want to borrow a book, go to a library.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 8:15 am.
I agree! It’s one thing if you want to browse through something to see if you might buy it, but sitting there to read a book so you don’t have to pay for it is rude. And then telling people they should be quiet while you do it is the ultimate in rude!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 9:08 am.
I agree 100%.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 12:13 pm.
Wow, how annoying! I wonder what he would have said if he had known he was talking to a famous author??
I go to coffee shops and restaurants a lot to write, but like you, I always go knowing not to expect a quiet place. I always bring my headphones. Then again, I like noise when I’m working!
And poor puppy! I hate when people leave animals in the car.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 8:54 am.
I always brought my headphones, too, for the same reason. And yes, I went to coffee shops because the noise helped me focus. The problem was I always started socializing and then I didn’t get anything done!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 9:09 am.
My friends and I got shushed once in a tavern/restaurant. A tavern? Really? I wished you’d been there. I was so shocked that someone actually thought we should be quiet in a tavern I went quiet.
It would bother me greatly if someone was reading a book for hours in a bookstore and then putting it back. That also never occured to me.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 9:12 am.
People do it here all the time. You find the books on the shelves so dilapidated because people have been treating them like library books.
I know–my reaction when someone lectures me is always shock. But maybe it’s because I never lecture anyone.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 12:34 pm.
Ah, escalator wit! L’esprit d’escalier! Trepverter! Le mot juste that arrives too late—but in this case, returned when needed, with friends. Poor doggy.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 9:28 am.
I know! Although I think the guy had been sitting in there with it for the last half hour. Apparently we annoyed him so much that he left his wife in the B&N while he sat in the car with the dog. Poor thing. The dog, I mean.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 12:58 pm.
Bravo for you! Glad you set him straight.
I have pet peeves—mothers being really ugly to their children in public, people speeding on city streets…people cutting me off in traffic.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 9:55 am.
Those are some of mine, too.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 12:59 pm.
I never get upset if people are laughing and talking in a place for socializing. I do have a pet peeve when people do this in the library. I’m a grad student and use the library to study and do work yet some people feel that it’s ok to laugh and carry on in the LIBRARY. To combat this, because I don’t want to become the crazy shooshing lady, I just listen to symphonic radio while I work. It drowns out most ambient noise and actually improves my concentration. Just suggest this to red vest man next time or suggest he shove it…
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 9:59 am.
Absolutely. The library is for reading and studying. People should be quiet there. That’s a rule I never break. I was a grad student, too, and had a carrell in the library, so I did like my quiet there.
When I used to write at the coffee shop, I drowned out people with music, too.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:08 pm.
Good for you. Sounds like you let him know about his incorrect expectations. And I agree about the dog in the car. Talk about rude!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 10:03 am.
I probably wouldn’t have done it had he not been so obnoxious about it. I do generally try to keep it down if people ask, but really, if people can’t talk in restaurants and coffee shops, where CAN they talk?
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:09 pm.
symphonic radio with headphones…sorry should have clarified that. BTW, I love your books!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 10:04 am.
Thanks, Kim! Yes, I used noise-cancelling headphones. Worked like a dream!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:10 pm.
I’d have been right there with you, sister! That makes me so mad. It’s sad to see how many people read books in a bookstore and don’t buy. That IS rude, but when you told me about the dog — POOR THING! That’s HORRIBLE.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 10:05 am.
I sometimes wonder why people like that don’t just go to a library. Why go to a B&N to do your reading when there are tons of libraries for that purpose?
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:11 pm.
Good for you for getting your revenge! Maybe this person was just jealous that you have a group of friends that you can go to the coffee shop and laugh with. After all, he was willing to leave his canine friend in the car for 2 hours while he read. That’s not a nice thing to do with any friend.
I can’t think of any pet peeves right now, but it is still early in the day so people haven’t had a chance to peeve me yet.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 10:19 am.
LOL! I actually don’t get annoyed that easily, but certain things just push my buttons.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:11 pm.
My pet peeve is lack of consideration and manners. It drives me crazy on how rude people can be.
I love going to B&N to read a book off of my nook to see if I want to purchase it. For those of you who don’t have a nook, you can read a book up to one hour free every 24 hours. Usually for me it takes less than that for me to decide if I was waffling on a book, however, I don’t feel you should be allowed to read the same book for endless hours. If I wanted a shelfworn book, I would go to a used bookstore. I should not have to pay full price for a book that has the binding bent out of shape. I really feel it depends upon where you are at in the store if you should speak in hushed whispers. When I want to read, without having to concentrate on blocking out other noises, I will find a reading area that no one is in, and if I am lucky, one with only a couple of chairs. I really don’t care that poeple use coffee shops as offices. When I took some classes at UNCC a few years back, I always enjoyed going over to Panera’s to study. I think one of the main reasons I did was because of the relaxed atmosphere. Besides my own kids, no I haven’t shushed people in public. I have called other kids out on ceratin bad behavior, (the ones that could cause them harm). The last time was when a child, couldn’t have been more than four was having a grand time running away from his mother, who had two younger kids in a shopping cart. I told the child that he shouldn’t run away from his mother and made him stay where he was until his mother caught up with him.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 10:39 am.
I could have used you when Nick was young. He was always running off, and he was FAST! Autistic kids will wear you out.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:13 pm.
Also, I didn’t know that about the Nook. That’s cool! And that kind of reading in the store is fine. I don’t even mind someone glancing through a book or reading a first chapter while they decide whether to purchase it. But someone who goes to a store to read the merchandise to avoid buying it? That, I mind.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 2:43 pm.
Wow. Just wow. Annoying, rude people who are cruel to animals. I am so glad you and the girls told him off. I try to be respectful when I am in a store and not cause too much of a disturbance but, if someone’s having a good time, that’s fine. It is not a church, it is not a library, it is a store. People talk in stores. People especially talk in coffee shops. And, B&N is for BUYING books, not sitting there, reading half of them and then putting them back with the spine cracked. I want the chance to crack the spines of my own books! He was a big old poopyhead (as my 4 year old would say) and it’s great that you were able to get yours in!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 10:44 am.
Yes, the way some of those books look by the time people get done with them is a crying shame. You can’t sell them!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:14 pm.
People who ignore the trailer that tells them to completely turn off their phones. There’s always a few dumb a$$es who have to check their messages and the little screens light up at the wrong time (well, it’s always the wrong time for me) or they actually let it ring! GRRRRRRR
BTW I have never understood why bookstores, especially those that only sell new books, cultivate the store as a place to read books, especially ones they haven’t bought and then taken to the coffee or reading areas. It promotes a loss of sales, and as you mention, worn merchandise.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 10:53 am.
I agree with you about the movie thing. My phone goes off until the movie is over. What’s the point of going to a movie in a theater if you’re going to act like you’re watching it on TV?
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:15 pm.
Good for you! That has ALWAYS been a pet peeve for me that people will read books in B&N, then put them on the shelf. It’s crazy rude that people read something they have no intention of buying under the nose of the store’s staff, then put it back with the spines all bent.
The only time I was ever shushed in a public place was in a theater before the movie (or even trailers) started. They were playing the music and ads over the speaker system and my I was talking with a friend of mine and we were laughing about something. Someone had the nerve to tell us to be quiet and we piped up that we would be happy to…WHEN the theater got dark for the movie. He even tried to complain to a manager, but was told that if there was still a problem when the movie started, to come back and tell him, and of course there wasn’t. We jokingly went to complain that a tattle-tale ruined our experience, and happened to tell the poor guy that listened to the tattle-tale. We all got a chuckle.
Knowing me, I probably would have said something about his dog too… “You dare to criticize my etiquette standards, but feel it’s perfectly fine to leave an animal in your CAR in a freezing environment for several hours while you READ a book you can’t be bothered to BUY?! I’m glad I don’t follow your standards, honey.”
It usually depends on the situation whether I have a quick one-liner response or not. Usually if I have an audience, I can come up with something.
If I’m by myself, stunned silence is usually my response. I always loved Julia Sugarbaker’s responses on Designing Women. 
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 10:55 am.
Julia Sugarbaker was the best!! Loved that show.
Yes, I don’t understand this new idea that people should all be quiet zombies in public places. Sure, once the lights go down in a theater, it’s time to be quiet. But while you’re waiting? In a grocery line somewhere? At a coffee shop? Why?
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:17 pm.
I’m still laughing over how you got into his car. Let’s be real for a moment. What are the odds that out of all the cars in that parking lot that you could have accidentally mistaken for Ava’s, it would have been his? With him in it. Still in that awful vest. With his poor dog. With the doors unlocked. Right as we were leaving.
It was awesome that you got the opportunity to say what you wished you’d said upfront, and you took it. I’m always wishing I’d thought of witty comebacks…or really anything to say at all…afterwards. Did you notice I went quiet, in shock? That’s what I usually do in those situations. I think it’s one of many reasons I love writing. My characters can always come up with the perfect retort, because I have time to think of it.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 11:06 am.
LOL. Hilarious that you always get quiet. I always get indignant. “I’m sorry. What did you just say?”
But Sabrina was brilliant! And I’m so glad she got another shot to speak her mind. Truly, I was still giggling all day yesterday whenever I thought about the incident.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:05 pm.
I’m indignant inside, but just can’t think of a thing to say. It’s really pathetic.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:52 pm.
You really were quiet, weren’t you? Hope I didn’t mortify you.
I know–what WERE the odds! And do y’all realize that he apparently left his wife in the store for the last half hour we were there to go sit in the car with the dog? I can just hear his wife now, “Honey, they’re having a good time. Just leave them be.” And when he couldn’t stand it and wanted to leave, she said, “Fine, but I’m not going. I’m comfortable here.”
That’s how I imagine it, anyway.
I guess he will always and forever be “Red Vest Guy.”
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:21 pm.
Not at all! You said everything I wish I would have said. I thought the same thing about his wife. Lol.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:58 pm.
I’ve never gone to a bookstore to read books and magazines. I glance at magazines, read book blurbs and peruse covers, but never have I thought it was a place to quietly read.. you are correct: they are not libraries.
I may or may not have been shushed at more than a few places. My laugh carries, I can’t help it. I usually brush off the encounter and feel sorry for the person who is complaining. You know they are just mad jealous that they are not in the fun group. I just left a town where in all the times we went out, we only heard ONE group of people having a fun time like you described. I look forward to being “annoyed” by raucous laughter in public again. It is always good to hear people enjoying themselves, I think.
and congrats on getting the second chance to confront him! That rarely happens!!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 11:31 am.
I never get a second chance to stand up to someone, so I was delighted it was him! My friends? Not so delighted. *G*
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 2:32 pm.
I’ve got too many pet peeves to list here, but one of the biggest is people who correct other people in public. They must have missed that part of the etiquette manual that says that’s a very rude thing to do. Especially when, as in this case, there wasn’t anything needing to be corrected in the first place!
I never think of the right thing to say. I have a terrible aunt who said a terrible racist thing in a restaurant once and I was so shocked I said “What did you say?” and of course she said it AGAIN. So I learned what not to say!!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 11:32 am.
Now see, my friend Ava says that she always says, “What did you just say?” in an outraged tone to give her time to think of a snappy comeback. But I guess it doesn’t work so well on clueless people like your aunt!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 2:34 pm.
I am thrilled that you got your second chance! I do have to admit to laughing at you getting into said jerk’s car. That was priceless! And yes I called him a jerk because anyone who will leave their animal in the cold car for 2+ hours while he offends patrons in a business where he is mooching free reads is a jerk!
As for pet peeves, I have too many to list. I tend to be very opinionated and vocal about the slightest little thing that sets me off. Right now my biggest pet peeve is all of these young girls running all over town in their underwear. I live in a small rural town, and I know I have never been a fashion queen, but there is such a thing as decency. Underwear is underwear. A camisole is a camisole. It is meant to be worn UNDER a shirt. Not in the place of a shirt so that I (and anyone else with eyes) has to see your lime green bra with hot pink accents staring at me while at the grocery picking up some milk for the granddaughter. Yes, I am a grandma. I am also only 42. By most peoples standards, I am still fairly young, but I was raised by my grandmothers mostly. And as a Southern Lady there are just some things you don’t do.
See? Don’t get me going! We could be here all day.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 11:36 am.
LOL!!! Haven’t noticed the girls in underwear. But then, as you can probably tell, I don’t get out much!!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 2:35 pm.
Oh, and DO NOT tell Sabrina to keep it down!
I can’t bitch about people who read at bookstores, because, lately, every time I’ve been to a major bookstore, I’ve sat down with these comics (children’s comics, Brazilian) and have read them, but I haven’t bought them since maybe I was 8. I mean, they’re children’s comics, and I enjoy readings and keeping up with them, but I never buy them anymore. And since I never buy paper books, I never browse through bookstores anymore. Ans as my mom spends 34705235782190 hours in them, I sit and wait
If I get shushed in public, I make sure to talk LOUDER. For reals. Unless I’m in a movie theater or in class or somewhere else I’m not supposed to be talking, I’ll just keep bothering them even more. I mean, WHO are they to tell me to shut up or tone down, right? So, I keep laughing and talking and if they don’t like it, they’re welcome to find somewhere else to sit
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 11:37 am.
I just don’t understand why everyone thinks they’re entitled to peace and quiet in public places like coffee houses and restaurants and grocery stores. Freaks me out.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 2:36 pm.
Isn’t it just that someone things their valid use of the space (quiet) trumps your, also valid, use of the space (fun)? Seems like a typical controlling person–one of the you-will-do-what-I-say people…
Posted on March 5, 2013 at 12:11 am.
A coffee shop is a store and one expects to hear conversations. To repeat, Barnes and Noble is a store, not a library. If you want peace and quiet, go to the library. No one has the right to shush anyone at anytime as they are not the mother! I find it rather cheap when people use coffee shops as offices. I cannot tell you how many times I have overheard people using them as a meeting place for a job interview. If I was the person seeking the position, I would seriously question a prospective employer who would want to meet there. I don’t like people actually coming in and reading a book and putting it back on the shelf. If you wish to open the book to see what the chapters are (I’m talking about non-fiction business books here), OK, but be careful and brief. Don’t just come in a read an entire book. What are you, a cheapskate? If you want a free read, go to the library. *OK. Getting off soapbox, now*
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 12:16 pm.
Yes, before we even had the encounter in the parking lot, my friend Ava had already tweeted about the Cheap guy who wouldn’t buy a book. It really is annoying, especially to writers who make their living off of book sales.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 2:39 pm.
That is definitely one of my pet peeves as well. I go into the Starbucks (attached to a Chapters book store) and do my work there while drinking coffee… but I use headphones if I find the din too distracting. I actually LIKE the social whirl of coffee shops… the women chatting with friends, the guys trying to read a paper, young school kids gossiping, college students studying, and the women that go in there with their children… I find it interesting to see the kinds of people that come and go. I’ve never been bothered by it.
But you’re right… the people that sit in the bookstore and read rather than purchasing the books drive me CRAZY. I mean, I can understand people wanting to read the first few pages just to see if they’d be interested in buying the book, but I’ve got friends who work in bookstores and they say that they get the same people every day coming in and reading entire books in one sitting. Drives me crazy. Do they not realize that that book was written by someone? That that author uses the money earned from those purchases to actually LIVE and pay bills? Grr..
Though I have to admit that my BIGGEST pet peeve is people who complain about children in public places. Yes, they can be loud. Yes, they can be messy. And yes, sometimes the parents have a difficult time quieting them down. But seriously… have some compassion! Think about what the parents are going through! It’s stressful enough trying to lug around the strollers and bags and toys and dealing with a tired, fussing toddler, let alone deal with nasty stares from passers by. I had one person complain about my son’s happy giggles once. In A MALL of all places. I’m not about to shush my son while he’s giggling. Crying, screaming, or whining, yes. But not giggling. I have also heard someone complaining in a grocery store while a woman was at the till with her newborn baby… “why would you bring a baby to a grocery store? Why can’t you just leave the kid at home?” Made me SO mad! I felt like telling the guy off right there. What if the woman was a single mother? How was she to go shopping WITHOUT her child? Do you not think that mothers need groceries, too? Grrr!! Sorry for ranting, but there you have it.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 12:17 pm.
Oh, I’m right there with you. People get crazy about children. I LIKE children. I expect them to be happy and boisterous and not to always contain their joy. I used to love it when kids came into the coffee shop. It was really the only time I was around normal kids, and I treasured it.
Public places are NOT supposed to be cathedrals!
And I wouldn’t mind people reading in bookstores so much if there wasn’t also a thing called libraries where they could do it for free without anyone making a sound. What’s up with that?
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 2:46 pm.
I like children, as well. Their joyful laughter and excitable personalities always put a smile on my face. Ah, the joys of childhood!
No, public places are not supposed to be cathedrals! You’re definitely right on that score. I can never understand how people believe that they can go out into public places and expect NOT to see children.
I agree. Libraries are there for a reason. One can sign out the books for FREE and read to their heart’s content. They’re meant to be places of silence especially for those who wish to read in silence!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 10:12 pm.
Only been shushed once and that was when a large group of us were having a birthday celebration in a fine restaurant. We tried to keep it down but there were so many of us, it was difficult. We got our share of dirty looks.
I agree with Barbara Samuel about people cutting you off in traffic. The only time I ever had road rage was when someone cut me off and I chased after him at a very high rate of speed. Not smart. Luckily it was late at night and there was very little traffic. Looking back on it, I was fortunate to have come out of that experience without a ticket and in one piece.
Hooray for you Sabrina. He had no business reading in the bookstore and returning the books to the shelves. He probably just left them on the table. Nor was he right in leaving that poor dog in the car.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 12:27 pm.
I know. I felt sorry for that poor dog.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 2:47 pm.
Worse than being shushed is when you can’t find a seat because every table has one person who is working and been there for 3-4 hours after ordering just one drink. I’ve been in a local coffee shop and seen the same people there when I came back a couple of hours later.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 12:57 pm.
Oh, yeah, that’s annoying, too. My son and I will go to a coffee shop and not be able to sit because every table is taken up with one person working.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 2:48 pm.
Whenever I go into the coffee shop to work, I always ask another working person if they wouldn’t mind me joining them at their table. I figure it frees up tables for other patrons. I wish more people would do it.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 10:14 pm.
We used to do that at the coffee shop I wrote at, too, especially if it was crowded.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 11:52 pm.
I can’t say I am surprised it happened in a B&N. My oldest, adult aged, daughter belongs to a weekly knitting group. They got permission from one of our local B&N to hold their group in the coffee shop part. They met on Monday nights which they were told was a very slow night there and they would be most welcomed. This group is about anywhere from 8 to 20 people aged 20′s-70′s on any given week. They not only buy drinks and food, but also books. Granted, they took tables and put them together on one wing of the coffee shop area, but always put them back and cleaned up the area. They were not overly loud (I attended a couple meetings). One meeting they were asked to leave and not hold their meetings there anymore, this after all had purchased their food and drink. Very rude behavior for a manager of such an establishment. Needless to say this group has boycotted this B&N and told countless others. The B&N on the other side of town got wind of this and invited them warmly to use their store. The group decided to stay in the same area and now meet at a locally owned pub/restaurant which welcomed their business with open arms. B&N lost customers that in this economy they couldn’t afford to lose, much less the bad publicity.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:30 pm.
Well, to be fair to our B&N’s, they’ve always been perfectly lovely to us. Our book club meets there, too, and we can get pretty loud and raucous, but no one has ever complained, and the store CERTAINLY doesn’t.
Your local B&N ought to be ashamed of itself. That manager is not thinking straight. No store can afford to lose several paying customers.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 3:17 pm.
People having phone conversations in restaurants irks me to no end. I’m not talking about fast food places, but nice, white linens and wine lists type of restaurants. It’s rude, intrusive and can be downright embarrassing when the conversation REALLY should done in private. Had a lady chatter on to a phone mate about her annual gynecological exam while my husband and I were out celebrating our wedding anniversary. A definite appetite curber!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:43 pm.
I never use my phone to chat in a restaurant unless it’s an emergency, so I know what you mean. For some reason, people seem to talk louder when they’re on the phone.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 3:18 pm.
Oh Lord – somehow I’m not surprised, lol.
What I *am* surprised by is that guy made it out alive!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 1:52 pm.
Oh, trust me, he was RUNNING to get away, by the time Ava and I got done.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 2:37 pm.
I get so angry when I see people sitting at the bookstore reading, as if it were a library and those books weren’t for sale! I am very particular about my books, and have seen so many placed back on the shelfs with creases down the spine and the pages folded to mark a spot. Just pay for the book already and go home and read it.
The only place a loud group would bother me is at the movie theatre. A coffee shop, though? That is a social place… it’s like expecting people to be quite while they are sitting at a bar having drinks.
A pet peeve that has really been bothering me lately are people that don’t shovel their sidewalks. We have had a lot of snow lately and when the people fail to shovel their sidewalks, it melts in the sun and then turns to ice in the evening. This makes walking the dog a nightmare. I have fallen 3 times this winter. This past week I have taken to walking on the road, but I shouldn’t have too.
P.S. I read By Love Unveiled last week and loved it!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 2:57 pm.
Glad you enjoyed By Love Unveiled! It’s a little different from my regular stuff, but hopefully not TOO different.
I’m so sorry to hear about your slip and falls. We don’t have that problem here; we never get enough snow for that, thank God.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 3:20 pm.
Oh, I so feel for you! I have a group of friends that we started out having coffee with (now we do happy hour)and we basically got kicked out of two coffee-and-bagel places because we were Women Having Fun. At least that’s how it felt to us.
I am so glad you and your girls took that guy on!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 3:18 pm.
What is it with all the places who want people to be quiet in a social situation? I don’t get it. I am never bothered by other people being loud. I just chalk it up to life.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 3:22 pm.
What bothers me is being at the library, and trust me, hardly no one is quite. Cell phones going off, even though there is a sign to turn them off, and nothing being done or said. I was in the library several months ago, on my day off, a co worker called questioning me about something, and a librarian told me I had to go outside. I politely told my co worker I would call her back, got up, went outside and did so. It’s okay to call out your kids name in the library, talk loudly to others and have cell phones go off in the computer lab but not ok for cell phones in the general population area. I very seldom go to the library anymore for that reason.
Your case was different as it was a bookstore and in the coffee shop area even more so. Good that you said something to that guy, as he will continue to be that obnoxious as long as no one calls him on it.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 4:03 pm.
I haven’t been to a library to sit in a long time. They really ought to require people to put their cell phones on buzz or something. But they definitely shouldn’t enforce the rules un-systematically. That’s just not fair.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 6:09 pm.
Pet Peeves…honestly the one that gets me is cashiers speaking with their friends insted of waiting on me.
As to coffee shops, bookstores and libraries.
I love my bookstores, I like browsing, I like the groups that are playing d&d or studying. I like life in a bookstore, dead bookstores don’t lure me to linger.
I would also like to point out that our local B&N also hosts local music groups to play in the coffee shop area, choirs, orchestrast, jazz groups, hardly a library atmosphere.
So to go there to get library level quiet, is ridiculous. And why should a group of people settle down so 1 person can get their way? Sorry, doesn’t work that way.
Hey? No compromise? His way or the highway? Is he part of congress?
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 4:45 pm.
That bugs me, too–cashiers not doing their job. But then, it always bugs me when people don’t do their job. I’m probably not alone in that.
Our Borders used to have music groups come in and play in their coffee shop area, but our B&N’s never have.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 6:11 pm.
Agreed on your pet peeve! My other, related one, is when there are two clerks talking and they finish their conversation while you are waiting there. As if one of them will magically disappear if they wait to resume it until they wait on you. The other day, I waited about a minute and finally said “are you open or should I go to another register?” I was trying so hard to be patient.
Posted on March 5, 2013 at 12:06 am.
Just to show the other side, at last month’s Scifi Book Club in B&N we had a gentleman come over and compliment us on the fact that it looked and sounded as if we really enjoyed the book we’d read. He said that he and several other people in the coffee shop area had smiled because we were so obviously having a good time.
(We’d discussed Zombies vs. Unicorns by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier)
I think I prefer our night to what happened to you. No lectures please. Coffee area is for talking…and bookstores aren’t libraries. I don’t remember any signs saying please be quiet posted.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 4:49 pm.
That’s nice. Have we ever had someone complain about noise for the romance book club? It never happened while I was there.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 6:07 pm.
Just to show the other side, at last month’s Scifi Book Club in B&N we had a gentleman come over and compliment us on the fact that it looked and sounded as if we really enjoyed the book we’d read. He said that he and several other people in the coffee shop area had smiled because we were so obviously having a good time.
(We’d discussed Zombies vs. Unicorns by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier)
I think I prefer our night to what happened to you. No lectures please. Coffee area is for talking…and bookstores aren’t libraries. I don’t remember any signs saying please be quiet posted.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 4:50 pm.
What annoys me is the people that treat our local library like a coffee shop. People are loud; kids are running around, climbing on and jumping off the statues; there’s junk food trash all over the tables; the library doesn’t do anything to keep the atmosphere more library like on the mainfloor. The second floor is where it’s quieter, but unfortunately, much hotter in the summer. Most of the books aren’t on that floor either. When we are at that branch, I make sure that my kids act like they are in the library.
My biggest pet peeve, right now, though, are adult women who are Mean Girls, especially adult women who are older than me and should know better. My dd’s elementary school has a teacher who is the Mean Girl personified and is telling so many lies about a mutual friend and me now that I called her and the other teacher on the carpet about their methods for choosing parent chaperones for the fielf trip. Sorry, if I want a responsible adult watching my 9 yo daughter and not the mom who lives across the street from the school, but who’s children are late every.single.day by at least 15 minutes, and allows the kids to climb the bookcases and jump off of them in the school library when she’s volunteering in there to start. And worse, the principal is being not so nice about it and wants me to drop out because it might make the teacher feel uncomfortable since I ‘don’t like her.’ I’ve never said that, and I will be going on the field trip.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 8:09 pm.
You fight the good fight, girl! Sometimes it just has to be done. The only way to beat a bully is to stand up to him (or her, in the case of the Mean Girls).
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 11:45 pm.
I’m at the library now. I use their Internet computers because I don’t own a computer. It does get noisy and even the librarians talk loudly. Sometimes kids or teens have their earbuds in and the music seeps out but no one says anything to them. I wear my earplugs! They used to make people leave the computers to talk on their phones, especially at the main library. I don’t think they do that anymore. I don’t carry a phone with me so it doesn’t apply to me.
I like quiet places and don’t like overly noisy people in public. Of course, I generally go out alone so I want my peace and quiet. At the cafe at Barnes and Noble I may look at magazines or books but I don’t spend hours doing that and I try to take good care of the items. The last time I was in the cafe I looked at a hardcover book with pictures, Extraordinary Pigs. I ate a cupcake with a fork and only spent half an hour there or less.
I hate it when people talk on their phones on the bus for half an hour. They talk all the way downtown. I bring my C.D. player so I can drown out the noise of that or people talking too loudly to each other.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 8:58 pm.
You sound like my husband. He likes his quiet, too. But then, he doesn’t go to the B&N cafe to get it!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 11:46 pm.
Good show!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 9:45 pm.
Thanks!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 11:47 pm.
Good for you ladies.
Since I never go to coffee shops, I do not care what goes on there.
So far no one has asked me to leave a restaurant when I’m reading a book. Since 99.999999% of the time I am by myself, I take a book to read instead of twiddling my thumbs. If the restaurant looks to be getting busy, I’ll leave soon after getting my bill. I’d rather wait; since my gallbladder was removed, most food goes right through. I hate getting a block from where I was and have to look for a restroom. Some places that have a bar, I’ll sit there to eat so I do not take up table space. As long as they do not get busy, I’ll stay and do my restroom ritual. I always leave my coat on the chair and my book on the bar so no one thinks I’m running out on the tab. A few times they have refilled my soda twice before I leave. Usually I’ll pay my tab 10-15 minutes before I’m ready to leave. I have told the employees to let me know if I’m wearing out my welcome, so far I have not.
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 11:37 pm.
It’s always a problem when you’re in places like that alone. When I used to write at the coffee house, I didn’t want to carry my computer to the bathroom, but I also didn’t want to risk its being stolen. Fortunately, my coffee house was fairly small and quiet, so I rarely had to worry about it.
That’s probably also why they went out of business–not enough customers! My three or four drinks a day could hardly have kept them going!
Posted on March 4, 2013 at 11:50 pm.
My pet peeve: people talking during movies. Not the occasional “wow, that was great!” But a running conversation. The whispers (or lack thereof) drive me batty.
Now, for my B&N cafe story–I listened to a couple fighting, while reading books they weren’t going to buy–and heard him saying “Do NOT even START” and things like that. And my second B&N cafe story, which involved a pet peeve…I was sitting and working and one of the employees, who was a good 40 feet away, was talking about how high she was the weekend before in great detail. I think she thought she sounded cool. I went to the the manager later and said, hey, she can have her fun…but we all don’t need to hear about her drug habits… I was amused.
I work quite frequently at the B&N by my house (and at the local library too) and know that talk is par for the course. Except for talk about the drug habits and super duper highs of employees.
And great job getting your great two liner in with Mr. Crabby Vest! Have a heart Sabrina–you’d be crabby and hate hearing people have fun if you had to wear an ugly vest too.
Posted on March 5, 2013 at 12:02 am.
True. It was almost exactly the same vest as Michael J. Fox wore in Back to the Future. That was a LONG time ago!
Posted on March 5, 2013 at 12:36 pm.
I like it quiet. If you want noisy go to a bar. I don’t drink. I think you have to respect the other patrons. When I go out alone I sometimes take a puzzle book with me and work in that when I eat or drink coffee.
A few years back at Barnes and Noble I was right inside the entrance doors where they had bargain books. I was standing there and looking through a book of Urban Legends and an older woman (a customer) asked me if I was going to buy it. I think she wanted that book. I don’t remember what I said to her, but I thought she was rude so I picked up a basket and went inside with the book to finish looking through the part I was skimming. I did see more copies of the book inside but I hope she didn’t get one because she was rude. It was her tone of voice, too, I think. She acted like I didn’t have the right to stand there and look at the book. At a used book sale it would be all right to ask for the book because there might just be one copy.
Once at Borders in the mall I saw a teenager reading a book. I came back later after watching a movie and she was still there reading! Guess she should’ve gotten a book from the library. You do need to look inside a book before buying and flip through it to see if you want to read it. I think most people take care of the books at the bookstore.
Posted on March 5, 2013 at 9:06 pm.